Are we being overly strict with screen time?

[Cthmta]

Spending time with family this week and we’ve had several comments that we are overly uptight/precious about the amount of tv we let our just turned 4 year old watch. I feel like we are maybe a bit stricter than average but not overly so? Her daily routine is to watch a 10-15 minute show in the morning and then another in the evening before bed. So 20-30mins of tv per day. We also don’t let her have cartoons day to day so instead limit these to CBeebies/CBBC shows which aren’t animated. Once a month or so we will watch a Disney/Pixar film if it’s a rainy weekend. If we ever make any offhand comments about feeling a bit tired after several days in a row of childcare we now get told it’s because we don’t let her watch tv enough and we’re being martyrs, which is a bit annoying! Do most people let their 3/4 year old kids watch a lot more tv? Are we just making things unnecessarily hard for ourselves by not putting it on more especially over the winter when you’re stuck inside more? Our friends all have much older kids so not sure what is normal at this age!

I didn't let my kids have TV until they were 5, mainly because it can damage their peripheral vision and because it's just way better if they don't.

Agree, I always fine these biased posts are by some self proclaimed expert. Trust me I’m this, and now I’m going to post something really biased that I’m hoping if I pretend to be x you will not dispute.

Much easier to start more strict and increase time later if you want to. It's on the strict end but nothing wrong with that. We tried to wait until after 4 pm for TV and save it for when I was trying to make tea. My teen kids are now all great readers but watch plenty TV in the holidays and practically none during the week.

only if they sit too close and for extended periods. Sitting a reasonable distance and watching a couple of hours a day, and the right programs, like age appropriate cartoons or CBeebies is fine.

Thanks everyone for the range of opinions, seems we are definitely on the stricter end then. Asking if it’s because we’re in a religious cult made me laugh! We don’t allow cartoons day to day because there is some evidence (as mentioned above) that the fast pace/jump cutting in them isn’t good for attention spans and our daughter has always struggled with impulse control. The ‘once a month’ things isn’t a hard and fast rule, just how often on average we probably watch a film. I think maybe we could loosen up a little, we’ve had a lot of comments this week because we’ve not deviated much from our daily routine and been told we should let her watch more over the holidays. Guess our worry with that is that it’s then hard to rock back when normality returns but probably being overly worried about that!

You might not have let them watch TV but it's highly likely they watched it at nursery / school.

As for the OP I agree, it's too strict, especially the restriction on watching films. It all sounds so rigid and inflexible. What happens if they're feeling under the weather, do you never just snuggle down and watch a movie together?

I agree with this.

We didnt have much tv time when the kids were small , CBeebies in the morning and then before bath & bedtime , and a Disney movie in the afternoon unless we were out , and no iPad/phone time at all until kids turned 10. Definitely not a bad thing

What joy 😂

THIS HERE!

It doesn't matter what other people do or think - YOU are the parent(s) and it's your parenting that matters.

Whilst there might not (apparently) be evidence that too much TV and other screen time is not good for children, I still - as a retired teacher - believe that their creativity and imagination is better stimulated via other means.

Good for you if you can manage it. DD isn't good at playing by herself so sometimes it's the only option if things need to get done.

We don’t allow cartoons day to day because there is some evidence (as mentioned above) that the fast pace/jump cutting in them isn’t good for attention spans

It is a case of choosing your cartoons wisely.

There is a reason why cartoons like Bluey and Hey Dugee are about 7 minutes long.

The only problem with Bluey is if there is a game they like, you will end up playing it with them for days.

Doesn't matter, its way easier to do without it.

Kids don't need screen time, so if you can manage without then it's absolutely of course.

If your DD is being left out of things e.g. everyone is watching a film and she isn't allowed to join in then I'd re-evaluate. Or if you're really struggling and need a bit of downtime e.g. if you're ill, then I'd allow a bit more.

I think your routine sounds absolutely fine as long as there is flexibility for special occasions/unusual events like illness, joining in with peers, long journeys etc.

The cartoon thing is weird though. Why is that ban in place? Do you believe cartoons are inherently less valuable than children's programs featuring actors? That's an odd approach. There are some great, educational cartoons e.g. alphablocks.

I'd chill out slightly around watch she's allowed to watch and bending the rules, but I wouldn't massively change them, day to day 30 mins of TV time is plenty.

It’s your choice. It’s certainly not going to do her any harm to only have 30 mins a day. If you feel like you need a bit of a rest then let her watch more. That’s not going to do her any harm either!

OP if your DD is 4 she will be going to school in September 2024.

You need to learn to be more flexible in your approach as you will need to manage school holidays when her routine will be completely different.

I think we are quite strict but we def do cartoon and unclench and Christmas.

you need to relax a bit

But it’s not one of the other, you can do both, and of course 30 years ago kids were in front of screens, how ludicrous. The first animated cartoons were over a century ago and the teletubbies came out in 97. Nearly 30 years ago.

kids can do a multitude of things in their days.

I think it's more important what they are watching than how much they are watching.

Stick on some numberblocks etc or educational programme. No different to a teacher standing in front of them. It's still someone standing there talking at them at the end of the day.

TV is better than tablets etc as its not right in their face and is more social.

Cbeebies is great and varied.

Stick on song of sounds which is what they do at school.

We put on bluey the floor is lava on YouTube on the TV. And there's a few games people have recorded and the character runs and jumps and they copy it and pretend to be the character. Same for just dance. We have it on the switch connected to the tvm or if it's being used we do the same as the bluey game but a ore recorded just dance.

Jump-start Johnny exercise for kids.

Literally limitless oppertunities and things to do which doesn't numb the Brain.

It's knowing how to use it.

My older two, (9 and 10) love documentaries. Loads on Disney and netflix and YouTube.

As long as it's not YouTubers playing roblox etc then I don't limit it unless arguments are happening. I let them watch you tubers if they really want to once or twice a day for 20 minutes or so

People just don’t want to hear you complaining about being tired with childcare when you could give yourselves a break. But no, why would you be inthe wrong to give limited screen time? I don’t understand those who say they feel sorry for your child 😂 What, because they’re being deprived of tv?? Nuts. Just keep doing what you’re doing but don’t complain you’re tired as you’ll get the same response you’re getting now. FWIW my first had no screen time at all Monday to Friday, but weekends and holidays maybe an hour a day. Whatever was on CBeebies. My second got more screen time but only because I wanted the break not because I thought it was somehow better for them!

Also 30 years ago. It definitely was on demand. I was 2 and we had VHS tapes galore on repeat and when I was a bit older about 8 we gpr sky....which had cartoon network and nickelodeon and Disney etc and we most certainly had it on most of the day! @Missingmybabysomuch

I wish we had stuck to something like your routine to be honest. But heavily pregnant and struggling means I've been using screen time a lot in the last few months and it's really hard to now go back to less!

Oh but any screen time we do give we do try and keep it educational so currently 3.5yo is obsessed with dinosaurs so it's pretty much dinosaur documentaries and he can name so many and knows lots of facts about different ones but I supplement it with books also. I guess just do whatever works for your family. But I do wish I didn't give in so much.

It sounds similar to what we let our 3 year old watch. He has about 20 minutes a day, maybe 40 on the weekend if he’s lucky. It is cartoons though, almost exclusively Paw Patrol. We also didn’t deviate from his daily routine at all over Christmas; a tired preschooler is no fun for anyone. You’re doing great

Go with your gut. If the people who invented screen time limit screen time then that tells you what you need to know.

I was on holiday over the summer and watched two young children at sunset on a paradise beach with their parents, both glued to screens. I'm baffled by the amount of young kids I see in prams holding smartphones.

I realised that while it's very convenient for the parents as it shuts the children up, there's a massive cost to that. It prevents the kids from asking questions about what is around them, receiving any answers, missing out on all that relevance about their place in the world, while they're brain is hijacked by the flashing lights and beeping. Connection is absolutely key for the mental and emotional wellbeing of humans, and it's being shut down with clear negative outcomes.

It sets up massively bad habits for older childhood and teen years, and the only reason we haven't publicly put two and two together about children's internet/screen use and the huge and impending mental heatlh crisis in young people is because a lot of people are making a lot of money out if it.

It feels wrong, because it is OP. Good on you.

Also to add to my previous post. My 4 year old just told me they watch numberblocks on the white board in school.

Older 2 said they watch deadly 60

And my 6 year old said they watch xollcolour blocks and Andy adventures.

So I think even school uses TV more than when we where at school.