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Original poster

To have mentioned that the dinner was burnt?

86 replies

Appleangel · 27/12/2023 19:10

DH was cooking dinner for us this evening (him, myself and our two teens).

He called us into the kitchen. There was a very strong smell of something burnt. He dished up the casserole and we all started to eat it. It tasted very burnt - everything, the chicken, sauce and vegetables were all permeated with a burnt taste.

I said to him (very respectfully) "Did the casserole burn? It's just that it tastes burnt. No problem at all if so, that's happened to me too when I've been cooking". DH looked really annoyed and was just silent. The dc couldn't eat theirs either. DH then asked the dc why they hadn't eaten theirs and the dc said it was because it tasted burnt, and then went on to say "but it's no problem, thank you very much for cooking it". DH just sat there looking angry. I said to him "Do you mind us saying this? I'm not sure why you're looking annoyed". He then said "Well what do you think I can do about it now? Do you want me to make you an omelette or something?"

The dc and I kept saying that it was fine, he didn't need to make anything else. When the dc went upstairs to their rooms he said to me "You didn't have to be so blunt, why did you have to mention it, what did you expect me to do?" I just said to him that if he had said to us "Sorry everyone, the casserole got burnt tonight, is everyone OK with beans on toast?" that would have been absolutely fine. The dc and I are very flexible.

This might sound like a minor event, but this kind of thing happens quite a lot, and it feels as if the dc and I have to keep thanking him, or apologising for things that aren't our fault! It's like he doesn't want to speak directly about things, and just wants to brush them under the carpet, and tells me that I'm too direct just for speaking honestly about things.

OP posts:
Namemchangeforthispostonly101 · 28/12/2023 02:15

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The OP has privacy concerns, so we've agreed to take this down now.

mathanxiety · 28/12/2023 02:41

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Excellent suggestion there.

GoodbyeKyle · 28/12/2023 03:29

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This - very well said.

Hope you're ok OP.

theresastormcoming · 28/12/2023 03:40

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

LaurieStrode · 28/12/2023 03:51

CurlewKate · 27/12/2023 19:20

So he burnt the dinner and you were all too scared of him to mention it?does that sound OK to you?

Yes, this.

TwilightBee · 28/12/2023 04:00

WYorkshireRose · 27/12/2023 19:28

I said to him (very respectfully) "Did the casserole burn? It's just that it tastes burnt. No problem at all if so, that's happened to me too when I've been cooking"

Sounds like pretty patronising phrasing to me, I'd have been annoyed too.

This is exactly what I was thinking. I’d have been so irritated if I was him having someone say that to me after slaving away cooking dinner for everyone. “It’s not your fault” is how you’d talk down to a child when it’s clearly their fault. Not just shutting up either and just going on about it being burnt. “You don’t mind us saying this do you?” Give over, you clearly know you’re trying to insinuate you’re better than him OP.

All the people saying she must be scared of him. I think she just thinks she’s better and likes to rub it in. He literally offered to make omelettes after being forced to endure the repeated reminders he burnt the dinner.

TwilightBee · 28/12/2023 04:09

This reply has been deleted

The OP has privacy concerns, so we've agreed to take this down now.

How is sitting in silence while everyone criticises the meal you’ve just made then offering to make omelettes blowing up and being irrationally angry?

CurlewKate · 28/12/2023 08:47

@TwilightBee "All the people saying she must be scared of him. I think she just thinks she’s better and likes to rub it in. He literally offered to make omelettes after being forced to endure the repeated reminders he burnt the dinner"

But he served burnt dinner and expected everyone to eat it! And of course he should have offered to make something else-not in the PA way he did though. The normal response would have been. "0h, shit, I incinerated the bloody chicken-sorry everyone! Beans on toast or omelettes?"

PaperDoIIs · 28/12/2023 09:27

All the people saying she must be scared of him. I think she just thinks she’s better and likes to rub it in. He literally offered to make omelettes after being forced to endure the repeated reminders he burnt the dinner.

A normal person owns up and cooks something else to begin with. A normal person doesn't sit in silence while expecting people to eat crappy food. A normal person doesn't complain that it was brought up and asks "what do you expect me to do about it" . In a normal family , kids would mention it , not sit there in silence not eating it. In a normal family kids would say yes to an offered alternative not try to placate the person who burnt their dinner and keep saying it's ok and thank you. I wonder if the kids (or OP) did get any dinner that night.

OneSpunkySnake · 08/03/2024 20:18

Appleangel · 27/12/2023 19:10

DH was cooking dinner for us this evening (him, myself and our two teens).

He called us into the kitchen. There was a very strong smell of something burnt. He dished up the casserole and we all started to eat it. It tasted very burnt - everything, the chicken, sauce and vegetables were all permeated with a burnt taste.

I said to him (very respectfully) "Did the casserole burn? It's just that it tastes burnt. No problem at all if so, that's happened to me too when I've been cooking". DH looked really annoyed and was just silent. The dc couldn't eat theirs either. DH then asked the dc why they hadn't eaten theirs and the dc said it was because it tasted burnt, and then went on to say "but it's no problem, thank you very much for cooking it". DH just sat there looking angry. I said to him "Do you mind us saying this? I'm not sure why you're looking annoyed". He then said "Well what do you think I can do about it now? Do you want me to make you an omelette or something?"

The dc and I kept saying that it was fine, he didn't need to make anything else. When the dc went upstairs to their rooms he said to me "You didn't have to be so blunt, why did you have to mention it, what did you expect me to do?" I just said to him that if he had said to us "Sorry everyone, the casserole got burnt tonight, is everyone OK with beans on toast?" that would have been absolutely fine. The dc and I are very flexible.

This might sound like a minor event, but this kind of thing happens quite a lot, and it feels as if the dc and I have to keep thanking him, or apologising for things that aren't our fault! It's like he doesn't want to speak directly about things, and just wants to brush them under the carpet, and tells me that I'm too direct just for speaking honestly about things.

Did you see the other thread about the husband sulking because wife cooked something he didn’t like? Not burnt, nothing wrong with it, he just “doesn’t like it “

Changeusernameseeusernamehistory · 08/03/2024 20:19

TheSnowyOwl · 27/12/2023 19:13

From the way you write this, your children come across as afraid of him (you too). That’s a very unpleasant and unhealthy environment to live in if so.

This

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