Dressing gown of doom

[ChedderGorgeous]

What are the conditions that are most likely to favour the emergence of the dressing gown of doom ? AIBU to start with: partner and children have just come down with flu symptoms / diarrhoea but crucially, the dressing gown wearer has a free diary with work/ hobbies and so could potentially be of some help.

Can’t be that bad if you have the time/energy to post on here.

It'll be on by this evening, just in time for the wearer to need to take to his bed before tea and bath time. Some heavy hints of feeling like he's coming down with something will precede it's arrival.

There will be an inability to move around without clutching throat with one hand and grabbing on to furniture to steady themselves.

Yes the heavy hints are crucial

I think you are confused.

It's cold symptoms rather than actual flu that necessitates the DGoD, I thought?

I believe it is specific day parts & household locations that affect the successful deployment of the dressing gown of doom.

DH has cold so has been lying around centrally (sprawling across living room sofa/ sitting on stairs looking morose and staring into phone) in DGOD since about noon today.

This was about the time when I informed him that all bar one of DC were ill.

Just go to bed and leave me to my own martyrdom....

A guest has, against all guidance, decided to be helpful by dumping fat down the kitchen sink. The undersink pipework needs to be disassembled and the outside drain needs clearing.

The DGoD and weak cough couldn't have appeared more rapidly if DH were a hybrid of Flash and Superman.

DH doesn't own a dressing gown, so when he puts on his shuffly old man slippers and starts hunting for lemsip that's my cue to avoid him like the plague.

We should not forget that men are fragile creatures and the poorly thing that they have is "dreadful" and makes them feel "shocking".

Yes, we have that, cold symptoms definitely. Along with raiding medicine cupboard, lots of coughing & general look as if they’ve been to war.
please don’t ask him to do anything helpful at this time as he’s a delicate flower & will fade if asked to take rubbish to bin etc.

Update, DH asked how to take his temperature.

We have a digital thermometer with a good, clear readout. It's even in its packaging and provides guidance on reference sites such as mouth or underarm. It's in the First Aid kit.

I was under the sink at the time. I think this was intended to reinforce Just How Ill he is if the DGoD and cough had been insufficient cues.

Tell him that given his "condition" rectal thermometer would be best

Yabu not to have used capital letters op.
The Dressing Gown Of Doom.....

@ChedderGorgeous I was going to reply with exactly the same response. He would soon change his mind.