She used to fox hunt?!

[Boxingdayhunts]

name change urgh

long story short - over Xmas got talking about newspiece about Boxing Day ‘trail hunts’. Got shock of my life when family member (married in not blood) revealed she had on occasion when younger joined hunts. actual fox hunts.

this is something I feel strongly about. I would never have thought this about her.

aibu to feel shocked, disappointed, and look a little differently at her now?

Hunting live foxes was banned nearly 20 years ago.

Many people change their minds about things as they grow older. Did things, said things, made decisions in their childhood, teens and twenties that represent the opposite of current thinking.

Unless you stand by every decision, action and view that you have ever held in your life, don’t be so smug and judgemental.

It’s illegal but hunting wild animals with dogs is still common. It’s a difficult law to enforce and the police are not that interested.

It’s easy to pretend you are trail hunting if questioned, and that the hounds rioted after a fox and you were trying to get them under control.

To be honest, unless you are a vegan (I am not, for context) you are on shaky ground taking a moral stance over fox hunting.

I think more context is needed, but I do understand it’s shocking when you realise someone has very different values than you thought.

It's not "just part of growing up in the countryside". It's the preserve of a very small demographic. I grew up living rurally and it was not part of the experience for my family or the vast majority of others in our community. It's a hobby. It's not something that is intrinsic to the experience of living in the countryside.

Context needed. If she rode horses then foxhunting is often a part of that.

DH is from a background where fishing, hunting, shooting etc was all very normal and he participated in this and with a great deal of enthusiasm.

He has been a strict vegetarian for the past 15 years, is going vegan in the NY and now he is retired volunteers at an animal rescue centre.

I would also ask yourself if you are so pure that you can sensibly judge someone else. Do you eat meat for example. Drive a car.

This.

Why is context needed? She did it when she was younger, presumably not now. What is with people these days being incapable of being around anyone who has possibly at some stage in their life done or even thought something that goes against what they personally currently believe in? Different people have different experiences in life, get over it. I'm sure you are a pure human being op with nothing even slightly dubious in your closet, but most people aren't.

There's a false equivalency between foxhunting and eating meat going on here (speaking as a vegetarian - and largely vegan). Foxhunting is outright cruelty, which is why it is banned. There is no 'kind' way to hunt down a fox with dogs.

Anyone who was able to partake had a complete failure of empathy for a living creature, and so unless they also told me about their Road to Damascus moment, yes, I'd think of them differently.

And OP has not said she cannot be around this person. She's said she thinks of them differently. Lots of us find out things that make us think differently about people - doesn't mean we cut them off.

What is it with people these days that we are meant to believe everyone is made of sugar and spice and all things nice, even when their frogs are showing?

If it was a long time ago I would let it go. People change. I found out recently that one of the hair dressers at my local salon still does it and I probably won't book with her again to be honest.

Oh for goodness sake, stop being so moralistic.

This is something she did years ago that you don't like. So what? Maybe you did stuff years ago that she wouldn't like if you told her about it now.

It’s intrinsically part of life for a section of the community in the countryside. Within the farming and associated community in a lot of areas it is just normal.

It’s normal for a section of the community in the countryside.

It was the norm when I was growing up but my mother would not allow us to participate in fox hunts only on paper trails.

Some of my friends took part in fox hunts but that's because their parents did.

How old was your friend?

Not here it isn't. The last time there was a hunt near here the vast majority of farmers refused permission for the hunt to access their land. The hunt ignored it and got their arses sued. They never came this way again.

So what I used to love sea world then became educated on how awful it is and you couldn’t drag me there now,

YABU can you be held accountable for the things your parents got you involved in?

I grew up around hunting and outdoors. Skinning animals and gutting fish was normal. I don’t tell people about this anymore after a couple of over the top reactions. I wouldn’t mind if they were vegetarian but they were happy to eat mass culled meat.

I think the fox hunting defenders on here are being at best naive to state that foxes are no longer hunted and killed. I live on the borders of several hunt countries and foxes are most certainly hunted and killed by hounds on a regular basis. The hunt nearest me is out four times a week and its unusual when there isn't a kill. Occasionally the sabs get good enough video footage that one of the huntsmen is prosecuted but it's rare and the fines are minimal when there are very wealthy people willing to pay them on the hunts behalf. Also, if you hunt you can't be unaware of the purpose and end result, and children getting blooded still happens.

Personally, I used to hunt though I was always very uncomfortable with the cruelty aspect. I wouldn't dream of hunting now, it's a revolting 'sport'. I also loathe commercial pheasant shoots, and I absolutely do judge the people who participate in hunting and shooting.

Echoing most other pp's in that she likely had little or no choice what she did when younger and probably didn't question it when brought up around it if it was a regular part of life. I used to hunt as part of work. We had to hunt the point to pointers to qualify them to race. I have thankfully never seen a fox injured or killed during this time. What a buzz it was though galloping across open countryside. I'm delighted that a local hunt now has a blood hound pack so dd can experience it and our young pony can get the valuable education without any risk to wildlife.

Seem like the OP didn't get the response she was hoping for when she was in drink and has buggered off. Shame really because it had the potential to be an interesting conversation with more context.

I assume she was young and just followed what her family and their social circle was doing?

What is important is what she is doing now as an adult.

I was born and raised in the countryside and it was very common for people to go hunting and shooting, including many of my classmates, neighbours and so on.

Now as an adult I am repulsed by fox hunting and hunting in general.

As a horse rider though I must say that I still enjoy looking at trail hunting videos (the ones that genuinely don't chase/hurt actual foxes...). I am nowhere good enough to take part in that but I like watching it.

Of course it is awful that some hunts don't follow the rules and use trail hunting as a smokescreen and also treat horses and the hounds poorly but it should be possible to do it without any animals being hurt just to exercise the horses and enjoy the countryside.

Anyway back to your friend I really don't think you can hold the environment she was raised in against her.

The debate about whether fox hunting is OK or awful is irrelevant. OP thinks it's awful, but her relative apparently hasn't hunted for quite some time.

No-one is going to change OPs mind. This isn't about the rights or wrongs of fox hunting but about how to approach the relationship.

As I said in my first post, given she no longer does it and up til this point could hardly be said to be rubbing it in (given it's a surprise to OP), I think OPs reaction is OTT and it shouldn't have any bearing on their present relationship.

It’s easy to pretend you are trail hunting if questioned, and that the hounds rioted after a fox and you were trying to get them under control.**

With fox hounds perhaps. Bloodhounds are totally different. Follow a set trail by a human runner, not an animal scent that could be mixed up. They even get to 'catch' the human at the end - the whole pack diving all over them getting a fuss. It's amazing to watch. Blood hounds are awesome

Just means she’s a horse person.

(I don’t like the fox hunt, but I think the people who do it mostly aren’t thinking critically re animals getting hurt; I don’t think they’re all evil types)