If Xmas was shit gather here and rant

[keojam80]

Went over to in laws, everyone in their house full of flu (prob covid) wrapped in blankets, sleeping, shivering. Mil was cooking but ill and being a martyr and being passive aggressive but didn't accept any help when offered but would be huffing and puffing making it known she's having a hard time. Dinner was a bit crappy and I wish I had just stayed home out the way of it all and made my own dinner.

Went round to my parents today. I'm not drinking as I'm working tomorrow, our baby is now sick thanks to yesterday so I declined booze and asked for a coke. Mum and dad looking at eachother tutting and eye rolling, huffing and puffing as if to say what's the point. This angered me. Dd was bored out her mind and kept asking to go home.

I never learn. Xmas in my own house with dh and the kids with an open door policy, done.
And nobody invited who is contagious! Next year!

Write a card to yourself put it with the Christmas tree.

Have to say you did have a choice to leave your MIL’s yesterday when you realaiaed they were all ill.

@Scarletttulips yes I know I could have left but I chose not to because it's dh family and his Xmas too and he would have been mortified at me. They were starting to dish dinner when arrived so it would have caused a huge drama. It's easy to say just turn round and leave. I was annoyed at them for not giving the heads up that they were ill and given us a choice. It's done now and next year will be different.

My husband decided to announce at the dinner table that hopefully the Christmas pudding would be edible this year as the one I made three or four years ago was shit. Last years was ok apparently.

I'm a single parent to 5yo DS and hosted my parents.

DPs arrive Christmas Eve and I am struck down with a stomach bug, awful. Can't eat anything or even put DS to bed. Feel horrendous. Thank god DPs were there to take over.

Christmas morning DF comes down with the bug. Oh god. THEN the seal on my only toilet breaks and floods my bathroom. We mop up, pack up and go to DPs where DF goes to bed not to be seen again until Boxing Day. Meanwhile DM has to cook dinner that she hasn't prepared and no one wants. DM wakes up on Boxing Day panicked that the turkey wasn't cooked through. She's right. Raw in the middle. In the bin it goes.

Better luck next year!

Mum and dad looking at eachother tutting and eye rolling, huffing and puffing as if to say what's the point. that's their problem if they can't accept you don't want to drink

@festivepains I know. I just find it hard because my sister and them socialise every week and it always involves alcohol. My sister gets invited out to restaurants, pubs, nights in and out because they are the same way inclined. I get a quick visit usually, and that's that. It's like I'm an inconvenience because I don't depend on alcohol to socialise.

They've got issues. Never mind. There's always next year. Sorry this years wasn't great.

keojam80 your family sound like mine I was always the black sheep as I didn't really drink! Nothing you can do about that but leave them too it! My Christmas was shit because DH sat on his laptop all day snapping at the kids for being noisy making remarks about wasting money on presents/crackers etc. he hates Christmas and so ruins it every year I only bother for DC. Compared to trevthetree my Christmas really that bad! I hope you all feel better now.

Yes it was!! Disappointing!! Gathering my thoughts for exactly what will be done differently and to give more detail as am currently feeling a bit like my name and also exhausted 😴

Why are you with him?

Being the black sheep myself why would you want to stay with someone who berates you and your children ruining Christmas? Because I can’t imagine him only doing this once a year

@Atomickittyxx I agree. Why do you allow him to do that to your children? Think of what memories they will have.

Sounds like a nightmare but would your baby have got sick that quickly if this was only yesterday?

Because believe it or not he's a good dad and husband the rest of the year and just turns into a super arsehole at Christmas. I think yesterday was the worst ever he doesn't normally comment on what's spent for Christmas he just genuinely does not get Christmas and unfortunately I love it and like to make it nice for the DC.

stomachamaleon this is what i said to him this morning our children will have memories of miserable Christmases when they grow up which he did seem to take on board, so we will see how he is nxt year. We don't have any other family to dilute his hatred of Christmas now so it shows more!

First year without some of our kids being here, so just the 4 of us. Me, DH and 2 little grandchildren we have custody of.

DH has recently diagnosed multiple myeloma and treatment hasn’t started yet so is bed bound with broken vertebrae, ribs etc. Woke yesterday in even more agony so looks like hip and shoulder blade might have blown too.

Never had to do everything alone before. It’s so exhausting. Hats off to all those lone parents who do it every year. I have the utmost respect for you!

So DH is on massive doses of morphine, so between doses, he just drifts off to sleep so I’m on my own a lot. I feel lonely.

This has really triggered me. Dad (probably autistic) found Christmas difficult and left me with long lasting issues around Christmas. Not sure what you can do about it but I hope it improves next year.

@Rachie1973 , that sounds really rough. Take care of yourself. xx

Single parent:
Yeah but we're generally not worrying about a sick loved one or trying to make Christmas good for them. Don't do yourself down. Life's tough when someone is ill.

Ty my sweet xx.

@Rachie1973 best of luck to you and your DH, my mum had MM and lived with it for nearly 20 years before passing (bear in mind she was diagnosed 20+ years ago and treatments have moved on amazingly since then). Just needs to get started with treatment and get his broken bones healed. Big hugs to you.

Mine was prob the shittiest I’ve ever had (although not compared to some on here I know):

FIL died suddenly of a cardiac arrest last week.
DH went to theirs and brought MIL here.
MIL obvs & understandably emotional.
DC obvs emotional too (except Ds2 who is autistic and blissfully free of emotions).
Then I worked long day shifts Christmas Eve, Day & Boxing Day (I work on the ambulances).
Went to an arrest of an older man on Christmas Eve. He didn’t make it.
Worked with a fed up moany type on Christmas Day.
Hardly did any jobs today (because paired with a low level assistant the same as me so limited jobs we’re allowed to go to) so felt a bit pointless and started at 5.30 this morning.

Came home to turkey pie only to find out it was turkey & gammon - I don’t like gammon, we only have gammon because PIL like it.

MIL staying on for extra days to originally planned and I don’t want her to but of course we can’t send her home to an empty sad house. But means she will be here when my DB + family are coming and I don’t know where to put everyone.
And she will interfere with my family time.
And I have to smile and be nice to her at all times.

So many other little niggles that aren’t worth listing but arrrrggghhhh.

I do not have to get up in the morning and am planning to stay awake long enough to drink. A. Lot.

Good luck to anyone who’s had a crap one!

Caught a bad cold of one of my kids. Was in bed all day Christmas. Luckily the kids went to their dad's but I had plans to do more fun stuff...not spend most of the day blowing my nose and feeling shit.

Thank you xx. We know Myeloma is terminal but should have some years yet, so trying to make every minute count :)

Not bad as such but fucking frustrating. My sibling is trans, they identify as female. They came on Christmas Day during Covid.

now it is all they fucking talk about. Like it’s their only personality trait. Topics of conversation included ‘they will never go abroad as they will get groped at security because they are trans’ and while we were eating they rambled on about ‘sex workers’ and only fans.

my dad and step mum are totally pro trans and indulge this behaviour. Honestly, it’s the same every Christmas for the past 2-3 years. I’m fucking fed up.

also I have Tourette’s, my ‘favourite word/phrase’ goes in phases, currently it is anything to do with penises. Yeah I know fun. Since going on adhd meds (I started two weeks before Christmas) I can barely suppress. None of my tics were ever directed at my sibling while they visited. But all day I was ticcing some variation of penis, among other things, multiple times a minute. My Tourette’s is moderate at the moment. They know I have Tourette’s. I understand ticcing penis can be frustrating for a trans person. But I can’t fucking help it. So, I said night to everyone, and then my sibling started shouting and swearing at me, telling me to shut the fuck, don’t reduce anyone to a penis, how I should never say penis in front of them. My dad says just be quiet (to my sibling) as he was trying to watch the tv. Rather than defend me.

I just feel like I’m inconviencing my family due to my disability. They always act like my tics are annoying and inconviencing them.

I know my Christmas wasn’t the worst thing ever but I’m fucking fed up.

Oh you must have been exhausted trying to suppress that but the way it was handled was because that word obviously hit a nerve for them and of course they had to make your tics about them. I hope you got yourself home for a rest. Your sibling sounds self absorbed.
Sometimes family just aren't the people we should be around. I'm sure there are many people who would love to be around you, shouting penis as many times as you can/want. Just know their reactions were about them and not you x