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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is a bit evil to do to a child?

84 replies

frenchtipss · 26/12/2023 10:49

DD bday is Christmas Day. She spent morning at mine and in afternoon went to her dads. His partner has three kids and they have one together, her kids were at their dads and due back for new years.

DD dad didn't let her open any presents - birthday or Christmas yesterday- she has to wait until the other kids are back as they are doing a party then. Last week DD was up for this idea but yesterday, on her actual bday and Xmas, she changed her mind but wasn't allowed to even open one.

I think that's evil and it's her bday so should have at least been able t open those presents. DD was disappointed but will be happy to have presents next week when other kids are back.

What do you think? Is that normal?!

OP posts:
SemperIdem · 26/12/2023 15:33

That’s really unkind, I’d definitely speak to him about it.

Original poster
frenchtipss · 26/12/2023 15:45

I'll be speaking to her dad - we don't have the best relationship and he isn't the most reasonable man.
As DD has gotten older, I've started doing a half birthday for her too as I do feel it sucks to have a birthday on Xmas day as much as I try to make it special. She also had a party with school friends before they broke up so she has celebrated but her dad wasn't involved involved in that.

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 26/12/2023 15:46

She should have been allowed to open her birthday presents just, I agree.

mikado1 · 26/12/2023 16:06

frenchtipss · 26/12/2023 15:45

I'll be speaking to her dad - we don't have the best relationship and he isn't the most reasonable man.
As DD has gotten older, I've started doing a half birthday for her too as I do feel it sucks to have a birthday on Xmas day as much as I try to make it special. She also had a party with school friends before they broke up so she has celebrated but her dad wasn't involved involved in that.

My DM did a half birthday in June for me too ❤️ Still think of it on the date each year!

coolkatt · 26/12/2023 16:43

that is just cruel. did they hold back the other kids presents till next week also? dicks

SemperIdem · 26/12/2023 18:49

I’ve commented before but I’ve been thinking about this.

I have a blended family, due to existing agreements with my exh and my partners exw, our children don’t cross over at Christmas at all and only share every other NYE together. It would be unhinged and entirely unreasonable for us to force either set of children to not open presents on the actual day because the other weren’t there.

Quite aside from that, your daughters birthday gifts and celebration needs to be separated as much as possible (as you do,op). Agree it must be really hard to have a Christmas birthday especially for the age range she’s in, he and his wife have been really thoughtless and unkind here.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 26/12/2023 18:52

Poor girl. What was the point of him having her on Xmas day if he won't allow her to celebrate with her gifts

Ruffpuff · 26/12/2023 18:53

Nope. I’m going all out and calling that evil behaviour.

Shame on him. It seems he’s forgotten who is real child is.

Eekmystro · 27/12/2023 07:48

frenchtipss · 26/12/2023 15:45

I'll be speaking to her dad - we don't have the best relationship and he isn't the most reasonable man.
As DD has gotten older, I've started doing a half birthday for her too as I do feel it sucks to have a birthday on Xmas day as much as I try to make it special. She also had a party with school friends before they broke up so she has celebrated but her dad wasn't involved involved in that.

Given she will be 12 next year I am sure she’ll start choosing to spend more time with you and not visit her dad. That’s what these shit parents forget, at some point the child will be old enough and will decide for themselves not to see you. Not even a court order will make a difference then.

she must be so sad she didn’t get to open gifts on her birthday. Did they do anything for her birthday

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