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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To people who believe in ghosts..

358 replies

AnxiousAnniee · 26/12/2023 10:40

I used to believe in ghosts when I was a child but as an adult I don’t. I find that there’s too many things that don’t make sense to me and just aren’t logical. When you actually start thinking about it and what it means to be a ghost, I think it just seems silly. I get that everyone has a different opinion though so I’m really genuinely interested to hear what people believe about the following questions…

  • if ghosts exist and look like the person who has died, how do they walk around and move things without muscles or a brain? How do people hear ghosts giggle and speak if they Dont have a brain or a voice box? If they are just a see through sprit how can they really do this? You can’t move, think, or talk without a brain. And they don’t have a brain or muscles because they are spirits.
  • similarly with moving things around or opening cupboards. First of all why would they do this? Why would a ghost turn a tap on??? For what reason? Secondly if they are so light and see through and can walk through things, how can they pick things up instead of just moving through them?
  • if a ghost is a spirit and someone’s soul, then how come they are always wearing clothes when people claim to have seen them? Clothes don’t die and clothes don’t have souls, so clothes don’t have an afterlife and shouldn’t come back as clothes ghosts. They should all be naked.
  • how come people only ever see ghosts of loved ones and scary Victorian children or soldiers and things? How come no one ever sees a caveman ghost or a chav ghost in trackies? (Again, they shouldn’t really be wearing anything anyway)
  • if ghosts are souls then that means everyone will turn into a ghost when they die. Which means we are currently SWAMPED with ghosts. They’re everywhere. We’re constantly walking through them everywhere we go because that many people have died in the world, we are bombarded with them
  • what about baby ghosts? Babies can’t walk so does that mean that there’s loads of ghost babies just lay on the floor all around us?

I’m not taking the piss here, these are genuine questions that I have asked myself when I believed. And the more I think about it the more I just don’t believe it. However, I’m aware that people still do, so I’d love to hear what you think the answers are to these questions and what you think ghosts actually are, and their purpose?

OP posts:
Changingplace · 26/12/2023 10:42

I think if ghosts more like the energy that’s left behind somewhere, like if you walk into a room and can feel an atmosphere whether that’s happy or sad, rather than an actual person.

shockthemonkey · 26/12/2023 10:44

I think it’s all explained in that film with Patrick Swayze and Whoopi Goldberg

shockthemonkey · 26/12/2023 10:46

… and Demi Moore I should add. The ghost chap had to learn all those poltergeists skills and it wasn’t easy

WandaWonder · 26/12/2023 10:46

I presume we would all see them if they existed

TheCadoganArms · 26/12/2023 10:46

It always seem to be castles and stately homes that are haunted as opposed to old people's homes.

MistressoftheDarkSide · 26/12/2023 10:47

It's complicated.

ZombieGirl86 · 26/12/2023 10:48

Tv glamourises it. I've experienced things but never a pale white cloud person

KimberleyClark · 26/12/2023 10:49

If ghosts can walk through walls, how come they are able to walk on floors without falling through them?

Lemonfoxtrot · 26/12/2023 10:57

Great post OP! Made me laugh. I’m very interested in your naked ghosts and ghost babies theory- so true!

I love all the woo stuff, but it’s my interpretation that ghosts aren’t actually the soul of that person- rather a memory of a past event ( see stone tape theory). A bit like a video of a drama/movie isn’t the actual actors there- just a recording.

I also think that most souls find their way back to the ‘source’, so people who report feeling a presence or ‘seeing’ someone they know are having some kind of psychological event- which may or may not be sixth sense.

i should also post the disclaimer that my theories are purely from watching stuff like Uncanny and the Osborne Book of ghosts!

Watchkeys · 26/12/2023 10:57

I've no idea how to answer any of your questions, but I'm unwilling to accept that something doesn't exist unless humans can prove it.

What if worms felt like that? They can barely prove anything, so barely anything would exist, to them. They'd just be idiots, to take that standpoint, wouldn't they?

My belief that ghosts may be 'a thing' and my willingness to accept that I've seen them, is a challenge to the arrogance of humans.

Watchkeys · 26/12/2023 11:02

I've wondered about souls, too. If we have a soul that continues after we die, what were we before we were born? A different soul? A new one? Could ghost sightings be the souls of people who have yet to exist, rather than people who have existed previously?

It's more fun being open-minded than just going 'Nah!' Essentially, it's not that we know they do or don't exist. The only thing we know is that we don't know, and there's no hard evidence either way.

GrandParade · 26/12/2023 11:04

shockthemonkey · 26/12/2023 10:44

I think it’s all explained in that film with Patrick Swayze and Whoopi Goldberg

Exactly. If Patrick Swayze had stayed a ghost, he’d have progressed from sliding pennies up doors and intervening in baddies’ computers to turning taps on and off and hiding small objects.

Until Demi Moore got sick of him hanging around and had him exorcised.

Original poster
AnxiousAnniee · 26/12/2023 11:08

Yes you’re right, there’s no evidence either way. You can’t prove that something doesn’t exist though so there will never be proof of that. Just like you can’t prove that something didn’t happen.

there very well may be “something else” but I really struggle to believe in the concept of ghosts that walk around because it doesn’t make sense to me. I can’t believe in something that I don’t have ANY answers for and doesn’t make any logical sense in my mind. Because then what is my reason for believing it? It’s only comfort and hope. I don’t believe that there’s absolutely nothing else, I’m not that closed minded. I’m just talking about the ghosts that walk and talk and move things in the house that a lot of people do believe in

OP posts:
AlphaB3tty · 26/12/2023 11:13

Amazing post OP. Great questions and theories. I believe everyone has their own opinions on whether they have seen ghosts etc. I personally don't believe it until I see it myself (same with aliens).
I only ever once thought I felt a presence. It may have been more of a dream, but I thought I felt the presence of my gran sitting at the end of my bed. I didn't want to move. It was like being weighted down.
TV and movies are all made up from other people's imagination and that could be all it is. My dreams are like movies, massively detailed.
I think all this comes from the most amazing super-computer to exist which we will never fully understand....the human brain.

Santaisscouringindeedfornewjob · 26/12/2023 11:17

Wish I had never encountered the one who has been in my life since I was about 25. Still freaks me out every time. Been a couple of years now. Last seen standing at me bed. Other family members have stories but I never admit mine...

Watchkeys · 26/12/2023 11:22

I can’t believe in something that I don’t have ANY answers for and doesn’t make any logical sense in my mind. Because then what is my reason for believing it

For me, this is the challenge. Belief is not knowledge. They are separate and distinct from each other. For you, lack of knowledge precludes belief. I'd call that closed minded, so we differ in our belief of closed minded. For me, open mindedness is about excepting that your perceptions are not proof of 'reality', and accepting that others' realities exist.

InterestingMuch · 26/12/2023 11:24

I chose not to believe in ghosts because the stories that accompanied their passing were always horrible - murder, execution etc. I realised that if I accepted those tales then I'd also have to accept the current violent ways people die and imagine them struggling forevermore. By that I mean those who die at the violent hands of others, in motorway crashes, fighting for life in hospital. I want to believe they pass into peace and that means no ghosts.

lookingforMolly · 26/12/2023 11:25

If spirits and actual God are watching us is that even when we are on the toilet (or if we are lucky enough to have a live life??).

lookingforMolly · 26/12/2023 11:26

Sorry love life

Original poster
AnxiousAnniee · 26/12/2023 11:35

Watchkeys · 26/12/2023 11:22

I can’t believe in something that I don’t have ANY answers for and doesn’t make any logical sense in my mind. Because then what is my reason for believing it

For me, this is the challenge. Belief is not knowledge. They are separate and distinct from each other. For you, lack of knowledge precludes belief. I'd call that closed minded, so we differ in our belief of closed minded. For me, open mindedness is about excepting that your perceptions are not proof of 'reality', and accepting that others' realities exist.

I didn’t say I’m not closed minded, I said I’m not THAT closed minded. As in I don’t believe that there’s NOTHING. I’m still open minded about that

OP posts:
Dery · 26/12/2023 11:39

“I think of ghosts more like the energy that’s left behind somewhere, like if you walk into a room and can feel an atmosphere whether that’s happy or sad, rather than an actual person.”

For me, it’s this. Perhaps also alongside the fact that, as I understand it, there are multiple dimensions, some of which may be folded in on each other and in which time may not be linear.

The fact that I can’t understand something has never been a reason to exclude a possibility. In fact, I would say that we accept all kinds of things that are incredible but we know them to be facts. Isn’t it incredible really that you can - potentially - speak to someone by phone who’s on the other side of the world? Or that a programme or a movie can be filmed, scrambled into signals, sent down wires and then we can watch it as a coherent narrative, with sound, on our screens? I mean WTAF!?!?

And though it has taken significant scientific breakthroughs to harness the things that enable us to do that, the underlying energy and particles already exist in nature. And for me it’s no leap at all to think they may be doing other things that we don’t yet understand or that seem to us incredible. Including carrying recordings of past lives or experiences.

Hillsmakeyoustrong · 26/12/2023 12:08

I believe ghosts exist but am often speculative about people's sightings, including my own experiences. I think there are many variations of ghost. For example, i had a DF who occasionally saw a girl ghost in her bedroom. When I asked how old she thought she was, she said 10, I gently pointed out that was the age DF had lost her mother, she hasn't seen her again. By contrast, DH's friend lived in a 'haunted' house. The family spoke of the old man rarely and reluctantly, in hushed tones, we are talking about rugby men and horse women who were not in the least bit woo woo. I thought he was a territorial spirit, as in he used to live in the house/on the land (its extremely old), but when they moved, after 20 plus years, he was seen by the mother in the new home. For myself, I have never seen a ghost, but u have definitely felt a presence, both benign and hostile, to the point where I have had to leave the building. I can tell whether they are male, female and the emotional energy they carry but nothing more. I think I'd be scared to know more tbh and I'm glad it doesn't go further.

GreenAppleCrumble · 26/12/2023 12:15

I think there are too many inexplicable phenomena experienced by otherwise completely credible people for there to be nothing in it.

But I genuinely don’t think there’s any point asking the sort of questions in your OP. If there is weird stuff to do with the past/different dimensions/energy of lives past, the reason we can’t explain it is that we can’t explain it! It’s beyond our human comprehension (at least for now).

For what it’s worth, I find the ‘why are ghosts always in Victorian dress/found in old castles!’ line of questioning absolutely pointless- there are thousands of anecdotes about ghosts in all kinds of outfits in all sorts of locations! You’re free not to believe them - but the stories are definitely out there!

Qwerty556 · 26/12/2023 12:19

There is actually a simple fool-proof way to be certain whether your house is haunted or not.

If you think your house might be haunted... it isn't.

Original poster
AnxiousAnniee · 26/12/2023 12:24

GreenAppleCrumble · 26/12/2023 12:15

I think there are too many inexplicable phenomena experienced by otherwise completely credible people for there to be nothing in it.

But I genuinely don’t think there’s any point asking the sort of questions in your OP. If there is weird stuff to do with the past/different dimensions/energy of lives past, the reason we can’t explain it is that we can’t explain it! It’s beyond our human comprehension (at least for now).

For what it’s worth, I find the ‘why are ghosts always in Victorian dress/found in old castles!’ line of questioning absolutely pointless- there are thousands of anecdotes about ghosts in all kinds of outfits in all sorts of locations! You’re free not to believe them - but the stories are definitely out there!

But this is exactly what I think. I think that we just can’t explain it! So for example, people tell me that they believe in ghosts because otherwise how did X happen and how did they see Y? But for me I just say well I can’t explain that, and neither can you. For them, the explanation is ghosts! For me it’s that there are just some things that we can’t explain, and that’s ok. We don’t HAVE to put every unexplainable event down to ghosts and spirits

OP posts: