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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Didn't do DD a stocking

44 replies

MamTiMa · 26/12/2023 10:05

This is loosely light hearted as really no one is upset.
My 2 kids are adults now, they are 24 and 26. This is DDs first year not spending Christmas morning with us other than when she was 18 and travelling, she was at her partners and came over to ours for dinner later.
I decided not to do a stocking for her or her partner, but did last year when they were here for Christmas morning. I just didn't see the point as to me it's a Christmas morning thing.
DD still got lots of presents, ugg slippers, PJs, Aesop set, drinks and some other bits and we spent a fair amount on her partner too. We did do DS and his partner a stocking though.

DD joked it's the worst thing to happen since I stopped sending her advent calendars and DS joked "if we did that to him he'd find the worst care home"

Now it is all jokes and DD doesn't really mind. But for the future should I have done them a stocking even if they aren't here in the morning?
We don't spend lots on stockings so it's not an issue to do it - I just didn't think they'd want it !!

Was I bordering on the worst mam ever to not do DD a stocking? Do you do stockings for people who aren't there in the morning?

(Again this is lighthearted no one is being ungrateful)

OP posts:
SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 26/12/2023 11:22

We did do DS and his partner a stocking though. DD joked it's the worst thing to happen since I stopped sending her advent calendars and DS joked "if we did that to him he'd find the worst care home"
well, this is clearly the issue. You didn't just not get your dd a stocking. You chose to not do one for her but did one for her brother. Who you also apparently still buy an advent calendar.

is this a case of siblings almost the same age, yet the male is treated like mummy’s little prince and the female is too old for the same?

is this ‘lighthearted’ sexism?

ibblebibbledibble · 26/12/2023 11:24

I find stockings for adults a bit weird if I’m honest!

TheChosenTwo · 26/12/2023 11:25

Tell her to take it up with the big man himself.

I still do mine stockings but they’re all home for Christmas and my older 2 are 18 and 19. I do absolutely epic stockings though and there would be a big financial disparity if I only did for one of them.

IfTheresTeaTheresHope · 26/12/2023 11:27

Was I bordering on the worst mam ever to not do DD a stocking? Do you do stockings for people who aren't there in the morning?

Well if you’re bordering on the worst mam I win the prize. DC are now 24 & 22 and they have never had a stocking.

Tilllly · 26/12/2023 11:33

Not only do I still have to POST an advent calendar to DS1, also to DIL and the dogs

WW3 broke out when I didn't
He threatened legal action

Stockings however- you wake up here you get one
Otherwise tough

It's the law

Seashor · 26/12/2023 11:37

I do stockings for everyone, I LOVE doing them. They do vary in size though. I do pillow case stockings for my daughter (at home), son (30’s, not at home) , his partner, his best friend and best friends partner. Smaller stockings for elderly neighbours x4 , son’s employee, mother in law and her brother.
Everyone enjoys them, they’re such such to make up and receive.

NotSorry · 26/12/2023 11:47

Same situation here - all my Dc are in their 20s, 3 of them were here for Christmas morning, my DD arrived with her DP later - I only did those that were here a stocking. She made a jokey comment about it and I said it’s for those that wake up here - she was fine about it - her DP promised to do one next year (it wasn’t a tradition in their house)

HumTamborine · 26/12/2023 11:56

I bloody love a stocking so my vote is to do one next year regardless!

Also an opportunity to keep the joke going every year from now until eternity when you present the stocking to your DD every year and everyone reminisces about the Great Stocking Deprivation of 2023 while opening.

This is the stuff of family legend!

SnowsFalling · 26/12/2023 11:57

Stocking in whichever house you wake up in.
So, DD needs to have a conversation with her partner about stockings. I've converted DH, who was from a no stocking family.

Lwrenagain · 26/12/2023 12:02

Oh you and I can be featured together on Britain's worst mum's like we're infamous for our crimes against Christmas together pal @MamTiMa! When I was a baby my nanas friend would send me what is now knows as a Christmas eve box, but an 80s version, a pair of fluffy socks, new jammies and a bar of chocolate and a Christmas annual. Bunty, I think it was.
Was the sweetest thing so i started it with my eldest, anyway this year after him complaining about him being too old for it this last few years I decided to just give him some fancy chocs, (fancy by my standard, not MN to clarify!) And a bathbomb.
Well that little shit put me on blast all over Snapchat 😂
All his friends were rubbing it in by sending pics of their Christmas eve pjs and new mugs etc.
His best mate text me saying (BTW these CF are 16/17!) "Merry Christmas! Did you know Rose West still sends her kids Christmas eve boxes?"

Lesson learned. He can get the peppa pig annual next year with some new pjs 😂

Whataretheodds · 26/12/2023 12:05

MolkosTeenageAngst · 26/12/2023 10:30

I’ll be honest once my parents stopped doing me a stocking in my early 20s I stopped making the effort to go home for Christmas. They were the best bit and Christmas just fell flat without one, I’m not a fan of ‘adult Christmas’ and stockings were the last magical bit I guess. They at least stopped all of my siblings and I’s stockings together though, I’d have been upset if my sibling had got one and I hadn’t.

WOW this is a joke, right?

peppermintcrisp · 26/12/2023 12:07

I find stockings for adults a bit weird if I’m honest!

Yes, me too.

My Dd18 moaned about the contents of her stocking last year so I didn't do one for her this year thinking she was too old. She was very upset not to have one this year.

Back to stockings for the older ones next year...but I do find it odd after they 15 or 16 years old.

slashlover · 26/12/2023 12:17

I find stockings for adults a bit weird if I’m honest!

I'm 45 and still get a stocking, as does my sister and her fiance. I'm the only one who wakes up in the house though (stay Christmas Eve and go home Christmas Day). I also still get an Easter Egg but have to buy my own advent calendar as I'm apparently too old for that not. 😂

VivaciousRadish · 26/12/2023 12:32

I have a stocking here waiting for my daughter tomorrow. She’s 22! Her sister (25) had hers yesterday. I did suggest that we stopped, as her boyfriend does her one now, but she it’s her favourite thing about Christmas, and I like doing them, so will continue

HumTamborine · 26/12/2023 12:35

Lwrenagain · 26/12/2023 12:02

Oh you and I can be featured together on Britain's worst mum's like we're infamous for our crimes against Christmas together pal @MamTiMa! When I was a baby my nanas friend would send me what is now knows as a Christmas eve box, but an 80s version, a pair of fluffy socks, new jammies and a bar of chocolate and a Christmas annual. Bunty, I think it was.
Was the sweetest thing so i started it with my eldest, anyway this year after him complaining about him being too old for it this last few years I decided to just give him some fancy chocs, (fancy by my standard, not MN to clarify!) And a bathbomb.
Well that little shit put me on blast all over Snapchat 😂
All his friends were rubbing it in by sending pics of their Christmas eve pjs and new mugs etc.
His best mate text me saying (BTW these CF are 16/17!) "Merry Christmas! Did you know Rose West still sends her kids Christmas eve boxes?"

Lesson learned. He can get the peppa pig annual next year with some new pjs 😂

The Rose West comment made me cackle! I like his style!

Ginnnny · 26/12/2023 13:03

Stocking is a morning thing only! I’m 38 and still get one of my family stays with my mum on Christmas Eve - likewise any family who stay with me on Christmas Eve get one in the morning. Stockings used to be my favourite part of Christmas when I was little!

Dutch1e · 26/12/2023 13:11

This makes me chuckle. Maybe post her a stocking with a little lump of coal in it? 😆

HarrumphryBogart · 26/12/2023 14:35

SadlyACupOfTeaDoesNotSolveEverything · 26/12/2023 10:18

Anyone who wakes up in my house on Christmas morning gets a stocking.

I read that in a very threatening way for some reason, imagining you going into your guest's room (the ones who made it through the night) with a bar of soap in a stocking and giving them a hiding. I think my time in the prison service has left me a little jaded!

TragicMuse · 26/12/2023 14:50

Everyone gets a stocking in our family, no matter where they are waking up. My sister and I traded stocking bags for our families a while back!

And all the adults contribute to them - there's a lot of sneaking into the room where they're laid out for the ones that are together.

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