Same every year

[checkedcloth]

Does anyone feel like this? We host every year, my parents come to us. It’s a very strained relationship, and so us not hosting them would cause all sorts of upset. They don’t really get into the spirit of things, frown if we a drink and complain that the food is ‘too fattening’.

it’s a long day, that’s ok but certainly not reflective of big family gatherings full of fun.

so much effort and lead up (from me) and I just don’t enjoy it at all really. I’m 50, when will it get better??

Yep. Just imagine your 25-year-old child drinking a bit too much one future Christmas and shouting at you for putting them through miserable Christmases because you were scared of your mum.

Please get some counselling / therapy. It is no way to live

Tell them as they don't think much of the food and you like a drink that there's not much point them coming. They can do their own thing.

I feel your pain!

We have hosted every year for the last 15yrs - parents and MIL. They don't particularly 'gel' so the day feels flat and a bit painful trying to jolly everyone along and keep conversation going.

No one lifts a finger, not even to make a cup of tea and MIL couldn't even be bothered to bring her usual contributions this year.

DH and I really don't enjoy it, but our young DC love having their grandparents here for the day and I'd feel guilty saying we weren't doing it (MIL on her own and DM has dementia which is hard on DF). I think when the kids are a bit older something will have to change.