Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset they started presents without me?

140 replies

JellyWellyBoots · 25/12/2023 16:59

I told DD last night that if she wakes up early she can open her stocking and if Grandad (he lives with us) is downstairs she can go down, but don't touch any presents without me.

I woke at 7am, saw DD was up as her bed was empty, she hadn't opened her stocking just left them wrapped up still on the bed.
I go downstairs and to my horror my dad was putting together her MAIN present. I could have cried, I wanted to see the look on her face.
If I hadn't woken up when I did I would have missed it all, I got down in time to watch her open a few but she had already opened the main ones.
Am I being unreasonable to be angry with my dad? I said to him on what planet would a mother want to miss out on watching her child unwrap all the presents she'd spent hours shopping for, and wrapping.

I have put so much effort into today, & it really hurt. I'm not angry with DD as she's only 5, but surely my dad should have known better?

Or am I being a tad emotional?

OP posts:
Kwasi · 25/12/2023 19:44

Sunshineismyfavourite · 25/12/2023 19:41

Yep I'd be livid too OP. He definitely should have known better. Those saying OP should have woken when she did - how would OP know her DD had woken up? Sadly there's nothing that can be done about it now but I hope you've still managed to have a lovely day OP.

I totally feel for OP, but she told DD to open her stocking alone in her bed and that she could go downstairs without waking her. Grandad is in the wrong, but OP ultimately has to take some accountability.

Chickpea17 · 25/12/2023 19:45

Why didn't you get up when your daughter did? Don't blame your dad.

TomatoSandwiches · 25/12/2023 19:46

It absolutely doesn't need explaining, he sounds useless, I wouldn't bother having for Chritmas morning again.

Fivepigeons · 25/12/2023 19:49

Yanbu I'd be really sad. We open all presents together. Stockings not included. But we wait for everyone to be awake and ready before we start big presents. Its very selfish to open things before everyone is ready. My 5yo even knows to wait for everyone to be there.

StaySpicy · 25/12/2023 19:53

I think YANBU generally but there's a very small element of YABU.

YAB a bit U because you can plan ahead. My DS usually awake around 6am and will go downstairs with DH about 6:45. I don't tend to get up until they're both downstairs but yesterday and today I set an alarm to be up and downstairs with them at 6:45am so I could see DS's reaction to his stocking etc. I didn't want to miss it so I forced myself to get up earlier than usual.

On the other hand, YANBU to be annoyed that your DF didn't take on board what you were saying and didn't feel it important enough for you, the person who has thought about, bought and wrapped the presents, to be there when they're opened. I can't believe he thought it was okay. I'd have been annoyed too. I have a 5yo and he actually came down and opened a tree present before his stocking today, but my DH alerted me so I could stop him. Your DF should have given it more than a nanosecond of thought and realised you'd want to share the joy.

ChedderGorgeous · 25/12/2023 19:57

AngelAurora · 25/12/2023 17:10

Why should he apologise? She should of been up

Show quote history

Lol. Troll under the bridge here. Begone foul creature!

Pigeonqueen · 25/12/2023 20:03

What on earth was he thinking?! That’s rotten. They should have woken you up.

MrsTerryPratchett · 25/12/2023 20:06

Did he buy and wrap all the presents? In that case it's fine. But if it is as always, that the mum did all the effort but the useless bloke wants the kudos, HIBU.

Palomabalom · 25/12/2023 20:07

Please don’t get annoyed with your dad. It’s not worth it. He’s 70 years old and unless he has form for unforgivable misdeeds in the past just let it go. You likely won’t have that many years left with your dad. For all you know he may have an early onset of Illness such as dementia.

zaazaazoo · 25/12/2023 20:09

PamelaParis · 25/12/2023 17:03

Your dad isn't a mind reader. You should have told him in advance what the plan was, rather than telling a 5 year old who was bound to be over excited.

What grown person needs to be told. He's not a mind reader. He's also frankly quite stupid as is anyone who thinks they need to be told such things...

Itrymybestyesido · 25/12/2023 20:10

PamelaParis · 25/12/2023 17:03

Your dad isn't a mind reader. You should have told him in advance what the plan was, rather than telling a 5 year old who was bound to be over excited.

Oh please don't make excuses for completely unacceptable behaviour

zaazaazoo · 25/12/2023 20:10

AngelAurora · 25/12/2023 17:09

Yabu you should have got up earlier to supervise, and it was your daughter who opened the present not your dad.

Oh typical. It's mums fault 🙄. Not the other grown up in the house who presumably didn't do all the running around organising Christmas. You are daft

itsgettingweird · 25/12/2023 20:17

Can't believe e all those saying it isn't a big deal.

Swap dad out for DH and you'd get loads of difference responses.

On what planet does another adult start tree presents with a kid until everyone is up and especially give them a present from someone else who lives on the house when they aren't there?

Kwasi · 25/12/2023 20:23

itsgettingweird · 25/12/2023 20:17

Can't believe e all those saying it isn't a big deal.

Swap dad out for DH and you'd get loads of difference responses.

On what planet does another adult start tree presents with a kid until everyone is up and especially give them a present from someone else who lives on the house when they aren't there?

Agree 100% but what parent of a 5yo gets up at 7am on Christmas morning and doesn't tell DC to wake them?

Noseybookworm · 25/12/2023 20:32

Is it possible that your little one launched in and unwrapped the gift before your dad could stop her? He may have felt that he didn't want to be telling her off on Christmas morning! It's understandable to be a little upset but in the grand scheme of things, it's not the end of the world. You get to see her playing with and enjoying it 😊

Meowandthen · 25/12/2023 20:39

AngelAurora · 25/12/2023 17:10

Why should he apologise? She should of been up

Show quote history

*should have.

And why should she? It was early and why couldn’t she sleep a bit longer? FFS. Mothers don’t need to be martyrs.

Meowandthen · 25/12/2023 20:41

AngelAurora · 25/12/2023 17:09

Yabu you should have got up earlier to supervise, and it was your daughter who opened the present not your dad.

Oh do fuck off with this bullshit sanctimony.

SleepingStandingUp · 25/12/2023 20:42

PamelaParis · 25/12/2023 17:03

Your dad isn't a mind reader. You should have told him in advance what the plan was, rather than telling a 5 year old who was bound to be over excited.

Oh come on, he's not some silly teen with no life experience. He's had kids. He's done the Xmas morning with smalls. He should know his daughter. He could have told DD to go and wake Mommy up.

Op yanbu to be really upset. I played kid block this morning whilst waiting for DH to get dressed. Wouldn't have dreamt of just getting up and getting on with it without him and they're my kids!!

Meowandthen · 25/12/2023 20:43

Noseybookworm · 25/12/2023 20:32

Is it possible that your little one launched in and unwrapped the gift before your dad could stop her? He may have felt that he didn't want to be telling her off on Christmas morning! It's understandable to be a little upset but in the grand scheme of things, it's not the end of the world. You get to see her playing with and enjoying it 😊

Give over. He didn’t need to “tell her off”. Just stop any further unwrapping and explain she needs to wait for her mum to join them.

SleepingStandingUp · 25/12/2023 20:44

zurala · 25/12/2023 17:13

At 6.30am?? Ridiculous. Of course he should have waited.
We do presents as a family, after breakfast and only when everyone is up.

Show quote history

Exactly. DD could have woken up and shook down at any time. Op shouldn't have to sleep on the stairs incase Grandad got her to open them up as soon as she was awake!

Ohownnoe · 25/12/2023 20:44

This happened to me too this morning op and I was absolutely furious! The whole enjoyment out of christmas is seeing their faces light up when they see the presents under the tree and the excitement ripping them open. Sounds extreme but I feel like a Christmas was taken away. Spent all the time picking the presents that they loved and wrapping them all 😪

ArcticBells · 25/12/2023 20:56

YANBU I'd be livid with your dad- utterly thoughtless of him

baklavagoddess · 25/12/2023 21:00

Op I totally get why you feel upset, and I think I would too but I think maybe your dad wanted to let you sleep abit longer and maybe they had a special moment just the two of them? He probally didn't realise

BarbaraWoodlouse1 · 25/12/2023 21:17

I would’ve been gutted too.

Youcannotbeseriousreally · 25/12/2023 21:21

My kids have never been allowed to open presents before I’m there. I’d be furious.