Who should get the stuff from the shop?

[lalaland2024]

Minor problem in the grand scheme of things, but wondered what mumsnet thinks.

Partner works away, he's been away since Monday and has a 300 mile drive home this afternoon. In his absence I've been doing last minute Christmas shopping (food and presents), cleaning the house, entertaining family yesterday, wrapping presents, and looking after our toddler. I took Friday off work to get the above things done. I've basically been none stop since Friday morning until Saturday evening and today I really didn't want to leave the house and wanted to have a chill day with toddler before tomorrow.

We need 5 items from the shop that I've forgotten to get (the lists were really long of both family presents and Christmas food, so easily done to miss some things). I'm contemplating asking partner to get these at some point on his journey home, but given it's already a journey that will take him 5-6 ish hours and traffic might be bad on Christmas Eve, I'm wondering if I'm being unreasonable to ask him to do this simply because I didn't want to have to leave the house with toddler today after 2 back to back manic days.

So, mumsnet, am I being unreasonable to ask this of my partner? If so I'll suck it up and go myself! Just dreading the shops today, they were bad enough yesterday and Friday!

I don’t think you’d be unreasonable to ask him to collect but id personally just go and get it done as I’d better and back in 30 mins and then all done.

YANBU at all. He just needs to stop off and grab some items.

It’s easier for him to do as he’s already out and you have the toddler.

Definitely tell him.

And he needs to do more tomorrow.

Just go and do it, and make that your 'toddler together time'

Personally I'd go and do it myself. I understand that you have done loads already but I think the long drive is enough

What do you need? Lots of motorway service stations have M&S Food shops.

I’d ask him and see what he says. Are they five items he can pick up easily from a petrol station/services branch of M&S when he stops for a break?

Ultimately though I think it’s on you to get them if he doesn’t want to (and I wouldn’t on a 300 mile drive). But quite honestly at this point if those items weren’t absolutely essential we’d just manage without them.

So the things I've forgotten aren't anything we need for the Christmas dinner, it's things like washing powder, bin bags, that sort of thing. The general household stuff that got forgotten about because I was focusing on the gifts / Christmas food🙈 So come to think of it I'm not even sure he will get those things at a services will he?

He's cooking the meal tomorrow, he always does as he's a better cook than me and he enjoys it. My task was to get all the stuff we needed for the dinner, buy and wrap the gifts we still needed for family, clean the house, entertain family yesterday, and take care of toddler - all of which are done!

Definitely not unreasonable to ask

I was hoping for more of the 'relaxing in front of the TV' sort of chilled time with my toddler given I've been none stop doing tasks inside and out of the house for 48 hours now 😬

Yeah I mean ask by all means

Do you really need to get any of it? Are you completely out of bin bags or just low? Are you having family round who can be asked to bring some?

I think it’s a bit much to ask them to add shopping to a 6 hour drive.

I would get the bare minimum, preferably from a walking distance corner shop (even if more expensive) so that it was just a walk out with toddler and not part of Xmas-crazy crowds and queuing to park.

I would let my partner know though - sounds likely they’ll stop for coffee / loo / petrol and some of that stuff will be easily bought from a petrol station.

Sorry, but I think you should walk to a local shop. 5-6 hours driving on Christmas Eve and then having to tackle a busy car park and supermarket is too big an ask, IMO.

He is driving 5-6 hours?

and you could get those things in 30 mins and be back having a chilled day?

I would go get it, it’s done and you have the stuff. I wouldn’t be amused if do asked me to go into the shops on Christmas Eve during such a long drive. Adding even more time onto it.

But then I wouldn’t ask him to do it either.

There's no walking distance corner shop unfortunately, nearest Co Op is a mile and a half away. We are very rural 😬

Are you going to run out of bin bags etc before the 28th ? If yes then ask him and set up a click and collect somewhere super convenient on his route home at about stage when he will want a wee/cup of coffee. If you have enough to get through, then just get through and go for a shop on the 28th

Just go and get it done. That's a long drive and he probably just wants to get home.

Unreasonable in my opinion. You want a chill day at home. Presumably your partner just wants to get home, to see you & your toddler & relax and enjoy Christmas
Also, at that age, my DC were always better behaved if we'd had a change of scene and preferably some fresh air. I would have thought an outing to get those bits would give a bit of purpose to the day.

Go and get it. You must be exhausted but he will be too.

Honestly, I’d just go. I quite like to get out of the house on Christmas Eve for a bit of fresh air. I’ve been to Tesco this morning and it was absolutely fine, not particularly busy, no problem getting a parking space and no queuing up for the self scans.

I wouldn't ask him to stop, local shop or just wait til boxing day!

If it is basic supermarket stuff I would just order via Deliveroo or Whoosh.

I couldn't even get to the petrol station at our tesco the queue for the carpark was that long!

Yanbu to ask him but in this situation I would go myself with child to get him home 30 minutes quicker! Can the items be bought at an express type store as these are likely to be quieter

Get things like bin bags and washing powder delivered? On Christmas Eve? Is this possible? If so please tell me how 😂