All the 'I don't understand' Christmas threads

[SweetFemaleAttitude]

When the OP in their faux naivete starts a thread to say they don't 'understand' something, when what they actually mean is 'I'm so clever and you're all doing it wrong'

They can't possibly 'understand' that people carry out tasks in a different manner to them and if they do, they're stupid because if they only did it the OP's way, i.e, the correct way, their lives would be sooooo much easier.

If they genuinely 'don't understand' that people do things differently, then I do worry about how they get themselves up in the morning.

If they want to start a thread about how great they are are something, then frame it in that way, rather than the 'I don't understand' angle, as it just makes them look as thick as mince.

it’s a commonly used figure of speech. Do you struggle understanding it? #irony

YANBU, it’s so annoying. It’s actually not a figure of speech like the sneery poster above me suggests, it’s a deliberately disingenuous way of showing off about how organised and clever you are, and suggesting that anyone feeling stressed or overwhelmed feels that way because of their own shortcomings.

It's generally used when people actually don't understand something though.

Here it's used as 'why aren't you doing what I'm doing, you fools'

Yeah I agree it's just a figure of speech to express that you disagree with something and how it's done. I don't think they genuinely mean on an intellectual level that they don't understand differences between people - I think it's just another way of saying "I do x this way, why do others do it y way?"

YANBU. That's the one thing that has always surprised me the most about social media- the complete bafflement of others that people are shock horror different to them. It's like they simply cannot comprehend that others might have different views, wishes, life goals, circumstances, beliefs, and preferences to them. How do they get to adulthood not realising this? it blows my mind.

Also, wouldn't life be dull as fck if we all liked and did the exact same things? I love that my house looks different to my friends houses and that we dress differently- isn't that the beauty of life?

Naughty to start a thread about a thread, no? <wags finger>

It's used a lot on here..one the other day was about not understanding why someone would like cheese 🙄. Right now there's six pages on how awful musical theatre is ...stated as a fact, not an opinion. It IS terrible apparently and lots on there can't understand how anyone could possibly like it.

Not to get too deep or serious but if it really is meant that way and not just an expression then maybe it partly reflects why we live in such an angry, self centred world these days...we've completely lost the skill of empathy or appreciation of the idea that other views or preferences than ours are valid.

Yes, absolutely! I hear about people doing pared back, low key christmasses and think ‘how lovely, that sounds peaceful’ and I hear about people having 32 people to stay and ten presents for each and think ‘gorgeous, bet that’s such a fun and chaotic jumble’. I don’t think ‘but HOW is it POSSIBLE that everyone isn’t doing things exactly the way I do when I CLEARLY KNOW BEST’.

In the context of the Christmas threads, it generally just means "I don't get why you'd put yourself through all of that for one day".

Yea I don't understand why people use that phrase (see what i did there). It's like saying Why oh why oh why..

Usually makes the poster sound rather stupid. It’s typically pretty clear why people do something even if it’s not what you do or you don’t agree. A moment’s thought will usually provide a few potential reasons.

I just assume they must be intellectually subnormal for struggling to understand very simple concepts.

It's very common around Christmas, people 'dont understand' why anyone would want to-

See family/socialise/host
Do elf on the shelf
Do Christmas eve boxes
Buy expensive presents, even when they can afford them
Put lights up
Go to a pumpkin farm (Halloween)

There's plenty more but in my opinion it's not difficult to understand, they're just to damn miserable to take part in anything remotely joyful.

Joyless arseholes who are more bothered about being superior and 'correct' (and impressing that upon other people because what's the point in merely being superior and 'correct' if other people don't know about it) than having a good time.

It's a completely different tone to just: 'oh no, x,y,z is not for me' it's sneery and condescending.

Ironically this thread isn't doing anything too different than what you're bitching about.

Not to get too deep or serious but if it really is meant that way and not just an expression then maybe it partly reflects why we live in such an angry, self centred world these days...we've completely lost the skill of empathy or appreciation of the idea that other views or preferences than ours are valid

Well said. I saw this on a thread about going to Disneyworld, someone asked an innocent question about the logistics of getting there and the thread quickly filled with rude comments about how awful, and they'd hate to do that and how pathetic it was and they'd far rather spend their money on something else. I wouldn't personally choose to go there either but the OP WANTED to- it was what she liked and wanted to spend her money on, it made her happy, so why not just accept that's what she likes and not be nasty about it? You don't like it- fine. She isn't you.

I always think it's a relief to get to January on MN. It marks the end of the all the seasonal criticism and angst, starting at Halloween, through Bonfire Night and on into Christmas. Then we can go back to moaning about parking and deliveries!

Of course people choose to do things differently but sometimes another person can struggle to make sense of why. Like making Christmas dinner more complicated than necessary but then complaining about the work involved.

Yes it is. OP’s not falsely pretending not to understand something innocuous in order to humblebrag about how much better organised or sensible she is. She’s openly calling out shitty behaviour. That’s not the same at all.

There are some times when it is reasonable. I don't do much at Christmas, I get why people want to and enjoy it, but I don't understand why people do loads if they aren't actually enjoying it and it's just stressing them out.

I don't understand the multiple threads where someone says they want ideas for their big birthday present. They don't know what they want but someone wants to but them something for the sake of buying just anything. So they ask strangers what would be a good present for them. I really don't understand why you would go through the rigmarole of getting a present when you have no idea what you want.

Yes, this. Do what you like but don't then complain about how hard it all is. Cost-benefit.

There are some times when it is reasonable. I don't do much at Christmas, I get why people want to and enjoy it, but I don't understand why people do loads if they aren't actually enjoying it and it's just stressing them out

Which is fair enough, but the threads in question are usually judging someone's taste, e.g. elf on the shelf, Christmas Eve boxes, eating dinner at a certain time, inflatable snowmen in the garden etc.

I see this a little differently. It takes a lot of work to create Christmas, and most of the time that falls on women. I understand completely why it can be stressful and exhausting (I find bits of it to be so), but it doesn’t necessarily mean it doesn’t feel worth it to them. And they may well feel that if they don’t do the work, they’ll be letting people down (by not delivering long loved traditions etc).

it’s easy to say ‘just don’t do it’ to someone who is stressed and overwhelmed but many people will simply feel it isn’t an option not to. They WANT the end result they’re creating. Most of the time the issue is they don’t have enough help from their partner and family, in which case the people not stepping up to help deliver are at fault, not the person (usually a woman) killing herself to create an incredible Christmas. She deserves praise and recognition, not a sneery dismissal of her efforts from people telling her not to bother.

Agree OP. Seems like a lot of effort to write a post just to pat yourself on the back and have a dig at people who are different to you..normally over something fairly trivial too.

Also - if people have a strong objection to something, they should just be blunt and say it. For example - ' I don't approve of how commercial Christmas is these days.." I would find that less irritating and smug and would have more respect for the poster frankly.

Don't worry, they mostly make themselves sound like insufferable pricks.