All the 'I don't understand' Christmas threads

[SweetFemaleAttitude]

When the OP in their faux naivete starts a thread to say they don't 'understand' something, when what they actually mean is 'I'm so clever and you're all doing it wrong'

They can't possibly 'understand' that people carry out tasks in a different manner to them and if they do, they're stupid because if they only did it the OP's way, i.e, the correct way, their lives would be sooooo much easier.

If they genuinely 'don't understand' that people do things differently, then I do worry about how they get themselves up in the morning.

If they want to start a thread about how great they are are something, then frame it in that way, rather than the 'I don't understand' angle, as it just makes them look as thick as mince.

There are some times when it is reasonable. I don't do much at Christmas, I get why people want to and enjoy it, but I don't understand why people do loads if they aren't actually enjoying it and it's just stressing them out

That's how I feel about it.

There's some things at Christmas that I don't see the appeal in, so don't do them, but I understand that for different people and different families it brings joy.

What I genuinely don't understand (in a non "I'm so organised way") is why people get themselves stressed out about things that they don't enjoy and don't bring them joy. It's ok for someone to decide that their enjoyment and wellbeing over Christmas is important too and some posters could really do with realising that they matter too. They're not some housekeeper there to run around after everyone else. It's fine to look back at Christmas and decide "actually next year we're going to do something smaller, or not fill out calendar, or someone else can take their turn to host 18 people instead of me doing it every year for the last 5 years".

I think people just genuinely don't understand how others live as they do things a different way.
I don't think there's always loads of hidden meaning behind it.

This.

I wanted to just relax as a kid and see family that were visiting. Didn’t want to be around a stressed out mum who nitpicked more than usual around Christmas. I didn’t want to be moaned at about how I should have done the Christmas tree and then have it fixed because it wasn’t “right”. Felt better about Christmas when she was at work or away from her when we were at my paternal grandparents for hours.

I don’t go overboard on Christmas. Don’t see the reason to and not putting myself through the stress when I don’t need/have to. Handful of gifts for the DCs as per usual and money sent for nieces and nephews this year. I asked DH and DS2 what they wanted to do and that’s what we’re doing. DH plans to cook a roast on Boxing Day, whether he does remains to be seen and DS2 wanted a Christmas tree, to bake, and have Christmas lights in the garden. DS1 is non-speaking autistic and rather be in his usual routine of school so morning meltdowns and DD1 is a newborn. We’re having a curry for Christmas Day because neither of us wants to cook.

My mum was surprised I don’t do more and I asked her why should I if everyone is happy and getting what they asked for.

All I want is more sleep and to potter around in the garden listening to my podcasts. Might look a bit looney doing it on Christmas Day but it’s what I enjoy.

But you could ask then, "would some one please explain why they feel they need to x? / Explain the appeal of Y" etc The "I don't understand.." trope absolutely implies that the poster, assuming themselves to be of reasonable intelligence, cannot possibly fathom the appeal of X and it therefore must be "wrong" or the person doing it is somehow stupid or wrong.
I also think we underestimate the family dynamics of "having" to do things to please various relatives or in-laws or whatever. It's not always easy to just say no, or to go against what the other 8 people want to do.

I call them the disengenuous wide-eyed threads.

I don’t understa-a-a-nd why people don’t drive / don’t want kids / like living alone / don’t use toilet brushes / this, that & the other.

There are many things I don’t understand but I at least get that other people think differently to me.

They’re usually the posters who ‘dislike other people, so I choose to spend most of my time alone’.

I always wonder if it’s really that way around…

The one that annoyed me was the "I don't understand why you'd rely on a delivery from the supermarket for Xmas dinner". I'm disabled and can't manage a full shop by myself. My DH works full time and is caring for me or our DD when he's not at work. We don't have family close enough to be able to take me to do it during the day to take the pressure off. So a delivery (like we do every week for our normal groceries) is pretty much the only way we can manage. DH can nip out and get the odd thing that was missing/substituted but if I'm having a bad day or in pain I can't be left with DD for too long and she gets upset and overwhelmed if the shops are too noisy/crowded so dragging her round to do a full Xmas shop is off the cards too. Some posters just seem to be completely unaware that what is normal/possible for them isn't for everyone.

Yes - I ‘don’t understand’ why women (in particular) so often make complete martyrs/doormats of themselves, and then wonder with sad faces why other people are tramping all over them.

It's tiresome and people who do this are utter pricks. I don't understand Christmas eve boxes, I'm baffled why anyone likes turkey, I'm puzzled as to why Christmas is so stressful (they are always puzzled or baffled). Don't get me started on the something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read. Just bugger of and let people live how they want.

Agree, OP. It's quite different to say "I don't understand nuclear physics". That is something genuinely difficult. It is not genuinely difficult to understand that some people go to church, some go for a walk, some dress up smart and others are in their jammies.

People DO understand. They just want to indulge in a wee bit of sneering.

This is how I feel about the why do Americans do this or that threads. Like it’s so difficult that a whole country on a different continent would do some things differently.

I don't like the "my husband/partner does these horrible things and has for years". AIBU for being upset?

Oh do bugger off. You know damn well you're not, and what replies you'll get. If it's even true. Thats also faux naivety.

Yes! It's the presenting opinion as fact that annoys me as well. You can think whatever you like but it doesn't mean you're right and everyone else is wrong.

Also the answer to 99.99% of the 'I don't understand why...' faux naïve queries is always going to be some version of 'because they want to!' which renders it pointless as a framing device. Just grow some ovaries and post what you actually want to say which is 'I don't do x and think people who do are wrong.'

I absolutely hate Christmas for various reasons but I can totally understand why millions of people all over the world enjoy it!