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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should my DH have a say in my hair cut?

102 replies

Diddlyumptious · 23/12/2023 13:59

Came home from hairdresser to DH saying he didn't like it and I should have discussed with him first. Can't decide if he's being unreasonable or not. TIA
I am being unreasonable - people do ask DH for input
I am not being unreasonable - DH in the wrong

OP posts:
Simonjt · 23/12/2023 15:53

My husband has lovely hair, it really frames his face and suits him. He sometimes shaves his head, he can’t pull it off as his hair is a very light blonde, he also has a weird shaped head. But its his hair, so while I prefer him to grow it, I rightly don’t care when he does shave it all off.

Beezknees · 23/12/2023 16:01

WorriedMum231 · 23/12/2023 14:21

No, he shouldn’t. But we need to be realistic and not expect our men to still be physically attracted to us if we do something they really don’t like. I was so annoyed when DP went clean shaven, ofc it’s up to him but I’m not attracted to him like it and long term I want to be with someone I’m physically and sexually attracted to.

I find that odd personally. How can something as simple as a shave stop you from being sexually attracted to your life partner?

As we get older our bodies change and we become wrinkled and saggy, would that bother you too?

Nevermind31 · 23/12/2023 16:05

You can do what you like. He doesn’t have to find you attractive once changed.

tinytemper66 · 23/12/2023 16:13

He could sod off if he didn't like my hair. No one should be that controlling.

annahay · 23/12/2023 16:17

Nevermind31 · 23/12/2023 16:05

You can do what you like. He doesn’t have to find you attractive once changed.

If a haircut is all it took I'd question if he found me attractive in the first place.

Christmassss · 23/12/2023 16:21

He should get himself a Girl’s World Head to play with if he’s so into what hair do you have.

mumsytoon · 23/12/2023 16:22

Well he shouldn't but don't you care about his opinion? If my dh came home with a bad haircut I would tell him too.

Cherrysoup · 23/12/2023 16:23

A trim and he’s upset? What’s going on? I radically changed mine from longish to graduated short bob, my dh wasn’t thrilled, but only because it takes forever to grow being corkscrew curls.

HRTQueen · 23/12/2023 16:26

No of course he doesn’t have a day in how you get your haircut or do you need to discuss it with him

or how you wear your make up or how you dress

he doesn’t have to like your new hairstyle (clothes etc) as you don’t have to like his

Harrysmummy246 · 23/12/2023 16:33

DH rarely even notices my hair, even if I go and get it done. He might prefer it longer but he doesn't get to decide.

I mean, he accidentally 'trimmed' a lot more of mine the other week than I intended as I couldn't be bothered to get a proper appointment. So he has zero legs to stand on even if he'd ever had one.

He may or may not like the fact I'm getting a tattoo next year, but he doesn't actually get to dictate whether I do or not.

Janieforever · 23/12/2023 16:35

Does that not strike you as odd? Just a trim, so very marginally shorter but the exact same, and he doesn’t like it? Which means he didn’t like it before either?

Thatbloodyhedge · 23/12/2023 16:35

Really?
He's a Twat
Do what you like for gods sake
🤦‍♀️

topgirlalways · 23/12/2023 16:36

Your body your choice. My DP asked me to grow my hair as I had always had it as a short bob. Said I would try. I hated it long, but liked it shoulder length.

SouthLondonMum22 · 23/12/2023 16:47

mumsytoon · 23/12/2023 16:22

Well he shouldn't but don't you care about his opinion? If my dh came home with a bad haircut I would tell him too.

I wouldn't, no. With my hair, the only opinion I care about is my own.

Parker231 · 23/12/2023 16:48

ReindeerShelter · 23/12/2023 14:00

Well I wouldn’t be happy if DH got a haircut I didn’t like 🤷‍♀️ So yeah, I think husbands and wives should have a say.

Why? If your DH doesn’t like your plans for your hair, you wouldn’t get it cut the way you wanted?

MILTOBE · 23/12/2023 16:52

2jacqi · 23/12/2023 14:16

@Diddlyumptious I think your DH should just naff off!!! bloody cheek he has! does he ask you how you want his hair or beard to be before he does it all himself?? I think not.

Grin The only person I've heard say "naff off" is Princess Anne!

hitherandhither · 23/12/2023 17:00

With hair that has been all different colours and styles, no I don't check in with DH first. Same for him. He does ask what I think before he goes to the barber but equally he always asks about what he should wear when we go out and if he looks ok. Meanwhile I'll be putting on what I want to wear but never ask him (I've got an eclectic taste).

As for fancying someone because of their hairstyle, maybe a ONS, fling etc, but I'd hope attraction with your long term partner or DH/DW would run deeper than that!

saltinesandcoffeecups · 23/12/2023 17:01

I think the phrase you’re looking for here the next time he says something is “That’s interesting you think you have an opinion on my hair” best coupled with a raised eyebrow 🤨

Hankunamatata · 23/12/2023 17:03

No way. Either dh likes it or he doesn't. He wouldn't be stupid enough to say he didn't like it if he didn't and I don't ask his opinion

edwardcullensotherwoman · 23/12/2023 17:05

Oh god my ex did this to me once - I had my past shoulder length hair cut into a bob and he hated it. Told me it was selfish since he's just spent £50 on a new straightener for me for Xmas 😂
He also used to comment on what I was wearing, asking if I was going 'on the pull' because I wore a nice top to work 🤔

DH might tell me he's not keen (tbf he can't hide it if he tries, his face says it all!) but would never suggest I discuss with him first. It's my hair and I'll have it however I want.

Original poster
Diddlyumptious · 23/12/2023 17:28

Legendairy · 23/12/2023 14:23

What is he saying is the issue if its only a trim?

Apparently style was for a younger person, don't get it as it's virtually the same, just far neater!

OP posts:
Original poster
Diddlyumptious · 23/12/2023 17:31

Thatbloodyhedge · 23/12/2023 16:35

Really?
He's a Twat
Do what you like for gods sake
🤦‍♀️

I'm very average and my hair is shortish wanting to grow to a bob currently but, I thought, looked really nice!

OP posts:
Menomeno · 23/12/2023 17:34

WorriedMum231 · 23/12/2023 14:21

No, he shouldn’t. But we need to be realistic and not expect our men to still be physically attracted to us if we do something they really don’t like. I was so annoyed when DP went clean shaven, ofc it’s up to him but I’m not attracted to him like it and long term I want to be with someone I’m physically and sexually attracted to.

I find that quite strange. I’m attracted to my DH because he’s a fantastic human being and I adore him. Sometimes he wears things I find a bit icky, or looks scruffy when he needs a shave. I’d never pass comment because how he presents himself is bugger all to do with me. I’m still just as attracted to him because he’s still him.

Legendairy · 23/12/2023 17:35

Diddlyumptious · 23/12/2023 17:28

Apparently style was for a younger person, don't get it as it's virtually the same, just far neater!

Show quote history

OMG that's so rude, how can a slight change mean the style is for a younger person.

pippabg · 23/12/2023 17:40

No he doesn't have a say. You had absolutely no obligation to discuss it with him.