Mortifying situation at work, how to handle it?

[CheeseCrackers45]

Hi all. Already EXTREMELY embarrassed and want advice/WWYD.

So, I was on my break at work today and am on my period. Went to the bathroom, changed my pad, wrapped the used one in a bag and put it on the bin in preparation to put it in, but was in such a rush that I completely forgot to. Went back to work and suddenly remembered after about 15 minutes, but before I had a chance to excuse myself to put it in the bin, I overheard a colleague reporting to our manager that she'd found a used sanitary towel in the bathroom! I then overheard her talking and laughing about it with other colleagues, making fun of the thickness of the pad and how it reminded her of a nappy etc (I have endo so have really really heavy periods that only very big pads are able to handle).

I then overheard two managers talking about how they're going to hold a meeting with all the staff about keeping the bathrooms tidy/using facilities provided tomorrow.

I am absolutely mortified and embarrassed. I know I should have remembered to put it in the bin and nobody else should have to see it, but it was a genuine slip of memory.

Nobody has any idea that it was me (nobody saw me enter or leave the bathroom and nobody else was in there) but I'm terrified they'll be able to check CCTV in the hallway etc. I'm thinking of not saying anything and feigning ignorance when it's brought up but I'm so worried that I'll give myself away and thinking of discretely taking my manager aside and admitting it was me but that it was a genuine mistake and apologising profusely. However, my manager is a man and I'm not sure how understanding he would be.

Thankfully we finish for Christmas break tomorrow so hopefully it'll all be forgotten by the time we come back 😅

YABU - Come clean
YANBU - Don't say anything

Are any of your female colleagues parents, pregnant or planning to have kids ever? If so, they’ll spend at least a week bleeding into a pad as thick as yours and probably need a pair of incontinence pants over the top. If they’re unlucky they’ll also leak wee for a good long while afterwards and need pads for that too. If their attitude to menstrual blood and pads is as childish as you describe then they’re in for a shock!

To be fair your toilets sound an awful lot better than where I work - pads aren’t wrapped and folk don’t stop at being a bit messy with just urine (male or female) - we have never been able to stop it. Definitely can’t be using cctv for a toilet.
I do look around at times and wonder who I’m working with would behave like that - so I can avoid ever using that desk they’ve used for one! However I have no idea, everyone is horrified every time it’s mentioned so I think just be appropriately horrified with the rest tbh.
It is ridiculous the jokes around it, and I can guarantee I don’t hang around long enough to provide descriptions like that - nor does anyone joke/comment about specifics found in that manner. Ignore them and style it out I would suggest.

My aunt forgot once her sanitary pad wrapped in the film and toilet paper was in her pocket ready to throw it in the bin, she went outside to speak with some neighbours and her pad fell on the floor in the middle of them all. She was very embarrassed but her neighbours just laughed about it.

No worries, everybody makes mistakes. Your colleagues sound very childish.

I wouldn’t say anything, just remember in future to put it in the bin.
Mistakes happen and we are all human. It will be forgotten about over Xmas.

This happened in my office.

The women all behaved like hysterical children-genuinely like primary school. I was in a meeting so missed a lot of the drama.
my friend very nice very sensible friend basically told everyone to behave themselves. We don't have a serial weirdo...
We have one women who once forgot to do something. Maybe calm down and give her a break.

The "culprit" was never discovered and it blew over about a week later when someone caught 2 bastards managers from 3rd sneaking up to our floor AGAIN to make their coffee (we had an ohh la la Nespresso machine that did fluffy milk they had a dif budget so only had instant Nescafé)

Keep your head down and stay calm.

Thanks all. Yes, for everyone saying they can't believe women could be so bitchy, you've obviously worked in some nice places because they absolutely can be and are.

Absolutely dreading work today. I know in all likelihood it'll be a quick 'please keep the bathrooms tidy' meeting and forgotten by everyone else in a few minutes, but I'm still so mortified!

Don't say anything and your colleague is a dick. These things can be handled with descretion

Even if they check the cctv, they won’t be able to prove it was you? Could’ve been the person before you, or after.

Clearly a mistake

Once on my period, I flushed the toilet but they were very old (old factory) and it musnt have fully flushed ,common thing there!
A woman went in after me and knew it was me before - I was at the sink.

She then loudly shouted some women were disgusting as there was some blood in the toilet and bloody tissue - I am not even heavy so it can't have been much!

When I went back later that day she had printed and LAMINATED a sign about flushing properly. Bloody ridiculous - pun intended.

Don't say anything. It's a genuine mistake.
However the person who came in boasting how they'd reported it and laughing about it is the unreasonable one. Personally I'd have just popped it in the bin and got on with my day. She'd have a field day at my workplace with the things and state both the ladies and gents toilets have been found in!

OP, please try to put it behind you. You made a simple mistake - you didn't mean to do this and we've all done something similar in our lives - we just try to blank it out!

If you can, yes, just pretend you know nothing and get through the 'tell-off talk'.

Forget about it after that!

say nothing, fgs, it was a sanitary towel not a bomb. I mean that kindly. Once in a former workplace the cistern was slow to refill and I needed to reflush but it wouldn't properly flush again, I ran back to my desk anyway. I'd flushed twice. An email came around to talk about the disgusting state of the toilets. I didn't feel ''shamed'', I felt what the hell is wrong with these fuckers. It was a customer facing role and I was trying not to be gone for too long, letting queues build up. I didn't think a bunch of women would be sending emails about some pink water in the toilet bowl. My god.

Oh they be would. And do.

she used to work in a care home and it reminded her of one of those big incontinence pads and giggled about it.

Horrible to think she also used to mock the elderly too, but I suppose it does happen - we read about stories of some awful people working in care homesm.

Sooooo bored of posters troll hunting and talking as though they are an authority on absolutely everything, in this case the opening mechanism of every sanitary bin ever produced.

@Snowdogsmitten thank you. The bins I'm talking about, you can't open them with the pedal at the bottom when you're sitting on the toilet. And by the time I'd stood up to leave I'd forgotten!

Say nothing and stay grey rock and stoic about it. It's a shame your colleagues are so nasty though- they might find when they go through peri menopause that karma gives them a good old slapping.

Also, pretty sure that period shaming is actually discriminatory (maybe not legally but from a social perspective it surely must be). It was a mistake- it's not like you regularly do it. Go to work with your head held high- I'd far rather have made your mistake than have the personality of a rancid old turd like your colleague.

Tĥis

Loads of places provide small paper bags for sanitary products. Not sure why people have picked up on that to try and discredit you OP.

@puddypud i have no clue. I've seen a lot of threads recently that derail into troll hunting, picking on the slightest little detail to discredit OP. Just amuses me that some are saying it couldn't possibly be true because no woman is that bitchy 😂 Clearly they've worked with some lovely people because a few of my colleagues would 100% be that bitchy.

Mistakes happen, but maybe check the toilet before you leave. No-one wants to see other people's blood, poo, wee etc.

Just like no-one wants to see somebody's used pad sitting out in the open (in a bag or not, it's still gross). Or maybe I am easily disgusted.

@Scalottia we arnt all perfect unfortunately - over the top reactions to embarrass people arnt on!!!

As I said I am extremely light. It must have been a one small amount of blood on a wet tissue in the bowl that had tried to flush!

@Scalottia also - I was only young at the time (first job!) and this was an over 40s woman.

Say nothing. Don’t be embarrassed or look embarrassed. Nod along when they are discussing bathroom cleanliness. Then forget all about it.

@Scalottia oh I agree, that's why I'm so mortified! I was just in a rush and completely forgot. Good lesson to check the bathroom in future!