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AIBU?

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Original poster

Mortifying situation at work, how to handle it?

155 replies

CheeseCrackers45 · 21/12/2023 22:47

Hi all. Already EXTREMELY embarrassed and want advice/WWYD.

So, I was on my break at work today and am on my period. Went to the bathroom, changed my pad, wrapped the used one in a bag and put it on the bin in preparation to put it in, but was in such a rush that I completely forgot to. Went back to work and suddenly remembered after about 15 minutes, but before I had a chance to excuse myself to put it in the bin, I overheard a colleague reporting to our manager that she'd found a used sanitary towel in the bathroom! I then overheard her talking and laughing about it with other colleagues, making fun of the thickness of the pad and how it reminded her of a nappy etc (I have endo so have really really heavy periods that only very big pads are able to handle).

I then overheard two managers talking about how they're going to hold a meeting with all the staff about keeping the bathrooms tidy/using facilities provided tomorrow.

I am absolutely mortified and embarrassed. I know I should have remembered to put it in the bin and nobody else should have to see it, but it was a genuine slip of memory.

Nobody has any idea that it was me (nobody saw me enter or leave the bathroom and nobody else was in there) but I'm terrified they'll be able to check CCTV in the hallway etc. I'm thinking of not saying anything and feigning ignorance when it's brought up but I'm so worried that I'll give myself away and thinking of discretely taking my manager aside and admitting it was me but that it was a genuine mistake and apologising profusely. However, my manager is a man and I'm not sure how understanding he would be.

Thankfully we finish for Christmas break tomorrow so hopefully it'll all be forgotten by the time we come back 😅

YABU - Come clean
YANBU - Don't say anything

OP posts:
Lavender14 · 21/12/2023 22:57

"I overheard a colleague reporting to our manager that she'd found a used sanitary towel in the bathroom! I then overheard her talking and laughing about it with other colleagues, making fun of the thickness of the pad and how it reminded her of a nappy"

In all honesty the person I'm cringing the hardest for in this scenario is this woman. She sounds awful, childish and like she wouldn't have another woman's back. She's really showed herself up I think.

Op say nothing, these things happen and she's dealt with it very poorly.

I don't get women who'd be so horrified and precious about a natural part of women's health and sanitation. I get it if it was a regular or repeated issue, but as a one off...

sotiredofeverything · 21/12/2023 22:58

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raffle · 21/12/2023 22:58

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Original poster
CheeseCrackers45 · 21/12/2023 22:58

@sotiredofeverything yes, I did. And no I'm not a weirdo. Her actual words were that she used to work in a care home and it reminded her of one of those big incontinence pads and giggled about it. Not sure why you think I'd make it up.

OP posts:
Dwappy · 21/12/2023 22:59

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There was a similar post the other day about someone leaving one on the bin in a shared house. But they also got confused between a pad and tampon so was more obviously fake.

Mummyratbag · 21/12/2023 22:59

@CheeseCrackers45 that is different and it was a threat they presumably didn't carry out? Head down, it wasn't you. You know nothing about it! I'm not sure even CCTV footage would prove anything unless it was in the actual loo ...in which case WTAF?

trytopullyoursocksup · 21/12/2023 22:59

This is ridiculous. you work with idiots. Do nothing.
My babysitter did this once. I thought for a horrible moment that my daughter had started (very early) and not told me but then I worked it out and I just chucked it in the bin. Doing anything else is just bonkers.

Jeschara · 21/12/2023 22:59

Do not say anything. Nothing can be achieved by this. Forget it snd enjoy Christmas.

Original poster
CheeseCrackers45 · 21/12/2023 23:00

I am happy to provide any proof needed that I am genuine. Unfortunately some people really are that bitchy and childish.

OP posts:
Original poster
CheeseCrackers45 · 21/12/2023 23:02

@FannyFifer no it genuinely is not. Unfortunately some of my colleagues really are that childish and bitchy.

OP posts:
Original poster
CheeseCrackers45 · 21/12/2023 23:12

@sotiredofeverything or some people are genuinely that childish? That colleague in particular is notoriously nasty/bitchy. I am happy to provide any proof needed that I am genuine.

OP posts:
mintmagnum3 · 21/12/2023 23:13

You've done nothing wrong OP! The only people in the wrong are those making fun of someone's sanitary towel. If they go to the lengths of watching cctv to find out who went to the toilet then they are the ones who should be embarrassed because that is just ridiculous!
What awful people to work with. I would never dream of talking about and laughing at a sanitary pad!
Don't say anything. Keep that head held high.

TeenLifeMum · 21/12/2023 23:15

I buy a variety of different absorbency (4 females in this house with different preferences) and whether I buy Always, Bodyform or supermarket own brand, the thickness is very similar because these days they don’t add layers of tissue paper to make them more absorbent. So op, why are you wearing such thick towels and where are you even buying them? If this is real, try period pants as they’re absorbent for 8 hours. Dd 1 is really heavy and they’re amazing. The only reason I’ve not converted is I’m trying to lose weight before spending out the money (will provably hit menopause before achieving weight loss at this rate).
misses point of thread entirely

BombaySamphire · 21/12/2023 23:16

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DimplesToadfoot · 21/12/2023 23:16

I'd brazenly confess to the boss, "oops it was me, I meant to bin it but I was rushing to get back to my desk! You should see the size of my pads at home, like mattresses they are, imagine the period pain I get with them" put that in the back pocket the next time I'd want a day off work

Then next year I'd hope to get the bitchy colleague as my secret santa and I'd buy her a packet of sanitary towels!

Aphroditee · 21/12/2023 23:19

Keep quiet.

Last year at work, I walked into one of the toilet cubicles to find a shit in the middle of the floor. Yes, a human shit.

So please don’t worry OP, there a people out there who do far far worse.

puddypud · 21/12/2023 23:20

TeenLifeMum · 21/12/2023 23:15

I buy a variety of different absorbency (4 females in this house with different preferences) and whether I buy Always, Bodyform or supermarket own brand, the thickness is very similar because these days they don’t add layers of tissue paper to make them more absorbent. So op, why are you wearing such thick towels and where are you even buying them? If this is real, try period pants as they’re absorbent for 8 hours. Dd 1 is really heavy and they’re amazing. The only reason I’ve not converted is I’m trying to lose weight before spending out the money (will provably hit menopause before achieving weight loss at this rate).
misses point of thread entirely

Edited

Period pants are a waste of time for many women. Me included. They aren't absorbent enough and I end up ruining my clothing. Neither are 'normal' sanitary pads. Plenty of women have horrendously heavy periods that require wearing very thick pads. I use maternity pads or actually have found tena pads to be much more absorbent and comfortable. And yes they are very thick. There's no shame in a thick pad.

JANEY205 · 21/12/2023 23:21

Your colleague is PATHETIC. If I had used the bathroom after you I wouldn’t have ever gone and spoken to a colleague about a pad, let alone a manager FFS! I garantee you work in schools as it’s the only place I’ve ever known this kind of pathetic gossip (no offense to teachers or support staff!! Just a weird thing where it’s like there was a way of releasing stress via chronic gossip lol, obviously not all of us are like it but I did meet enough staff in schools who would make a big deal of this)

Original poster
CheeseCrackers45 · 21/12/2023 23:21

@Aphroditee we had that too! A few years ago now. Had a meeting about it and everyone went 'eeww' and pulled faces but it was one of them 😂

Not even going to bother responding to troll hunters anymore.

OP posts:
clingon1012 · 21/12/2023 23:21

It's an easy mistake - I'm sure many of us have done it before! Nothing will be achieved by confessing to your manager - what's the point, as he'd be embarrassed, and you'll stay embarrassed!

The women are mean for laughing at the pad size though, we all have different needs and they should empathise with whoever needs a bigger, thicker pad as we all know how brutal heavy periods are! Hope they aren't your work friends...

JANEY205 · 21/12/2023 23:22

Also period pants don’t work for those of us with bad endo! I have to wear the heaviest tampon and two pads OR a nappy. It’s terrible!!

elizzza · 21/12/2023 23:25

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I wonder this too. You “put it on the bin in preparation to put it in” - what does that even mean? What preparation is there - surely if there’s a bin in the cubicle you put it straight in? And if it was rolled up in a bag how would colleague even see the thickness?

Anyway, if it did happen your colleagues are bizarrely immature. Definitely no need to confess.

Superduper02 · 21/12/2023 23:27

OP my ex-office manager had to deal with someone smearing poo on cubicle doors af my old place of work... I shit you not 😂. They never found out who it was unfortunately.

There will be no real enquiry into this once the New Year roaround. Just a snarky email about bathroom ettiquette. You will live it down.

BussiBop23 · 21/12/2023 23:28

Say nothing and try your best to forget about it. It was an accident and I'm sure no one else is giving it anywhere near as much thought as you are.

Yesterday at work when I left the bathroom I didn't realise that my dress was tucked in my tights at the back and I bent down in front my boss to pick up some rubbish from the floor pretty much showing him what I had for lunch. Mortifying 😂

Original poster
CheeseCrackers45 · 21/12/2023 23:33

@elizzza okay, I'll give you a step by step if that is what it takes to make it seem genuine to you.

I went to the toilet, changed pad, put it in bag and then my phone buzzed (I was on my lunch break so had my phone with me). Put bag on bin (it's one of those grey sanitary bins that you need two hands to use, one to open the lid and one to put the pad in). Responded to text, did what you do after you go to the loo (don't want to give too much detail and be accused of being a perv again 🙄), and saw I only had a couple of minutes of break left so left cubicle, washed hands and rushed out, completely forgetting about the pad.

OP posts: