Christmas ruined - what do I do?

[Mummytotwonow]

My 8yr old has hunted and found all the Christmas presents wrapped up for her and her brother. I have spent bloody weeks getting the presents, organising fun things to do, school admin, whilst juggling FT work and all the other mental load women have to do. This has just fking topped it off. What’s the bloody point. Do I just tell her there’s no father Xmas and ruin Xmas for her and her brother or do I re-wrap everything? I feel like fking walking away. I’ve had enough :(

@Eveeeeeee "But it's not her fault."
Erm, whose is it then? Child or not, if she went hunting for them, then it IS her own fault.
So she's spoiled the surprises for herself. I did this as a child once. I can clearly remember regretting it because the surprises had gone and I never did it again.
Even now, as an adult, I go to ridiculous lengths not to pry if there's something going on around my birthday/Christmas.

Op she's having you on. If she thoughts presents are from Santa and Santa comes just before Xmas, why would she be hunting for them earlier??
Come on, clearly she doesn't believe it.
I have an 8yo and would never have done this. Really bad behaviour from her.

If she still genuinely believes in Santa then make something up along the lines of him dropping some off early because he'll be so busy on Christmas Eve. Tell her he does this for everyone but the parents don't tell the children, so she's not to tell her brother.

At 8, she's old enough to know that looking for presents is a bit naughty - I peeked under my parents bed at about 8 or 9 and saw the Lego castle I was getting for Christmas and then had to feign surprise on the day - I knew it was naughty of me so took the natural consequence or spoiling my own surprise on the chin (afaik my parents didn't know I'd peeked!)

Don't go buying new ones or rewrapping or anything that'll make more work for you at this point in time!

Tell her that Santa had to deliver the presents early this year because Rudolf has a sore nose and it isn't shining as brightly, he was worried about navigating the entire globe in one evening without Rudolf. Santa made a few trips over a few weeks, delivered all the presents early, and asked the parents to hide everything in the house until the big day.

Don’t tell her anymore lies, she doesn’t believe in Santa, she’s 8. You’ll still all have a lovely day.

Unwrap them and put them in a pillowcase?

What do you do @Mummytotwonow? Nothing.

I don't think Christmas is ruined at all. Don't say anything, put the presents under the tree on Christmas Eve after the children have gone to bed and watch them open them on Christmas Day.

In our house only the stocking came from Father Christmas. Presents came from us and other family members.

Personally, I tell my children that I send Santa their presents and he delivers them all on Christmas Eve if they've been good girls/boys.
I have a 10 year old who hasn't "believed" for three years so it's mainly for the 4 y/o.
I like this story because it might stop other kids who may be less fortunate thinking Santa didn't get them as much. I also get some credit lol. Xx

Rewrap a couple 'from Santa' and say the rest are from you.

It's a bit like being angry at a dog because he ate some food but really it's your responsibility to ensure that the dog could never get hold of the food and to place it completely out of reach.

A lesson learnt when my whippet was caught climbing like a bear up a bookcase to get to the very top where treats has been placed! Now anything he must not get his greedy peas on is hidden in a box and inside a cupboard.

Anyway, you're being overly dramatic about this as whilst it's disappointing that your child found the presents, you need to up your hiding game!

Only you can ruin Christmas as you are the adult.

You tell her that you are disappointed that she didn't come to you first when she saw the presents with her name on.

Re wrap them and hide them in a better place.

Just get a couple of cheap items that are from Father Christmas and draw a line under it and think of it as an amusing anecdote in years to come who she's an adult.

It's very easy to let things get on top of you at Christmas so don't let this turn into a big thing.

Could you not just unwrap them and leave them out on Xmas eve. Then put a letter from Santa saying he didn’t want to waste paper this year

At 8 surely she knows there's no Santa!

Hunting for presents is a really crappy thing to do and 8 is old enough to know better.

You should be up front that presents are from you, not a mythical benefactor and are paid for with your real time, work and money.

She's 8, not 4!

How old is your son; older or younger than her? Did she tell him she'd found the presents?
Assuming she didn't open any presents and didn't show or tell her brother, I think it's fine.
She's 8, old enough to find out that Santa is not real. If your son is younger you'll want her to play along for his sake.

I don't think it's the end of the world but you sound at the end of your tether, stressed and exhausted as most mums are at this point, so I can understand why you're upset. Do you have a partner or are you a single mum? If you have a partner what have they said about it?

We work so hard OP - I get it, it feels now like it’s for nothing. You know your daughter, take the night to decide what to do, sleep on it. It will feel better in the morning. Just remember she’s a kid and you will regret handling it in any way that punishes her.

If she asks I would like and say that, occasionally, when Santa has a very heavy workload, he will deliver a few presents early to houses where children have been good and where he can be fairly confident that they will continue to be good. It just helps him be less rushed on the night.

If she doesn't ask, then I would put stickers and ribbon on the paper to make them look a bit different.

Surely you haven't got to child-bearing age without realising that not every family does Santa the same way? No?

Just tell her that Father Christmas delivers all the gifts that loved ones send to him in the North Pole.

Just change your traditions a bit. Father Christmas just brings stockings, she's found her presents from you so just say they're from you. Put them under the tree now and take the drama out of it.

I don't get the anger at her or why anyone advocates punishing her. Mine have been told one room is currently out of bounds as things are in there not wrapped yet. If they choose to go in and spoil a surprise that's only their surprise they're spoiling.

And to the PP calling it brattish behaviour? Absolutely baffled by that description.

She will doubtless be told at school that Father Christmas isn't real.
There are always those children with older brothers and sisters who are told this, and they love to tell others.

If she truly believed in a fat man coming down the chimney she wouldn't have gone a~hunting.
Absolutely do not re wrap the presents.

She peeped...she has her fun spoiled.

If she's old enough to go hunt for presents, she's old enough not to believe in Santa. Christmas isn't ruined.

This is where things are all wrong and people who can not afford Xmas come off badly. In our house Santa has always brought an inexpensive gift and the stockings, telling your child that santa bought a PS5 is so wrong and just makes so many problems at school when another child gets a jigsaw or a book and wonders why Santa didn't spend as much money on them. Wrap one present from Santa and claim the rest as your own.

If she didn't open them, buy stampers and ink and ribbon they will look completely different and wrap a few family gifts in the red and white and tell her she must have found other peoples gifts.
If she did open them that's a whole other conversation about consequences

I don’t understand what the problem is? Our presents are sitting under the tree, apart from stockings. It’s that she thinks Father Christmas brings them all? That’s ok, she’ll either figure it out and play along, or she’ll figure it out and not play along, or she won’t.

it doesn’t matter. Christmas won’t be ruined. It will only be ruined if you make it a big deal and make her feel bad. Then she’ll always remember the sad feeling rather than being in on the grown up secret.

‘Hurtful’ is a bit of an odd reaction. As though she’s deliberately spoilt things for you. Remember she doesn’t know all the effort we make at Christmas. She doesn’t know it’s stressful. Nor does she know there’s a secret to uncover. She’s just a child doing normal child things.

Can you just say Santa couldn't get everything they wanted so you bought some gifts?

I thought you meant she had opened them all and I wondered why the comments were so calm.