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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anyone else not use their ‘nice’ stuff?

151 replies

Fairylightstwinkle · 21/12/2023 21:55

I have things that are nice but I never use. For example, I have some pretty cleaning cloths and sponges, nice shower gel etc.

Always feels like they’re too good to use, which is so silly.

Is anyone else like this? I want to start using my nice stuff! How do you get over it and use your nice things?

OP posts:
RougeFraise · 21/12/2023 21:56

My mum raised me like that and I just can’t do it as an adult. Such a waste of items! You could die tomorrow

BorisIsACuntWaffle · 21/12/2023 21:56

Get them used. Life is too short.

Tailfeather · 21/12/2023 21:59

Urgh! No! Use them!

Gnomegnomegnome · 21/12/2023 21:59

After losing some friends far too young I don’t save stuff for best.

MegaClutterSlut · 21/12/2023 22:00

It will only get binned/donated if you died so you may as well use it. I don't save anything for best as best may never happen

Tomblyboo · 21/12/2023 22:03

Me! I have to try really hard not to be like it. Mostly by remembering that things don't last forever. I had a jewellery making kit as a child that I found years later, the fimo clay for making beads had dried out. I'd been saving that bit, probably the most fun part of the kit. It made me sad and now I try to use things but I still struggle with not wanting to use up the very last bit.

HardcoreLadyType · 21/12/2023 22:05

What is the point of having it if it doesn’t get used? Enjoy your nice stuff!

SlipperyLizard · 21/12/2023 22:08

We got some expensive (for us) wine glasses for our wedding. We’re too scared of smashing them to ever get them out, which is bonkers as we’ve been married 15 years and got hardly any pleasure from them!

I’ve got two (partly empty) bottles of a discontinued dolce & gabbana perfume which I never spray for fear of one day running out, but all that means is that I’m already living without it!

Perhaps my New Year’s resolution should be to spray the perfume, use the wine glasses etc.

Justmuddlingalong · 21/12/2023 22:11

I used to. But after the deaths of a couple of close relatives, when clearing out their houses, we came across lots of stuff kept for good, and saved for a special occasion/good.
I don't mean to be a downer, but enjoy your lovely things now, use them whether they're cleaning cloths, clothes or jewellery.

christmaspaws · 21/12/2023 22:14

Use it. It's a special day because you're alive and if you don't use them you'll always be waiting for a more special day. Then you'll go to use stuff and it will have gone off. You're worth using the good stuff for!
I burn a luxury candle just because

pictoosh · 21/12/2023 22:17

Pretty cleaning cloths?

Storynanny1 · 21/12/2023 22:18

Don’t save anything for best, today might be your best day. Spray the perfume, use your nice kitchen stuff and wear your lovely clothes

NerrSnerr · 21/12/2023 22:18

Just use them. Life is far too short.

My father in law has a cabinet full of expensive alcohol that has been given to him over the years. He has 4 bottles of champagne they've had since I met my husband. Since then there has been 2 retirements, 21st, 30th, 40th, 65th, and 70th birthdays, 4 graduations, 2 babies, weddings etc and no occasion is worthy of a bottle.

What's the bloody point?

Pallisers · 21/12/2023 22:20

No I use all my nice stuff as often as I can. Perfumes, clothes, and especially glasses and plates etc. life is too short not to enjoy what we have. I well know that my kids will be off-loading all my lovely dishes and crystal and silver when I'm gone so why keep it pristine for them. I have a lovely old tea set from my grandmother and I use it whenever we have people over for coffee or have after-dinner coffee. My husband's lovely grandmother gave us some silver serving spoons as an engagement present and I use them to serve any dinner that isn't a weekday dinner. I find I tend to remember people when I use things they gave me so it is an added bonus. My mother's first cousin who was a lot older than her and whom I didn't know very well gave me a beautiful bowl as a wedding present 30 years ago. I've used it for berries with desert nearly every dinner party I've had. Every time I do, I think of her. enjoy your stuff.

neeep · 21/12/2023 22:20

I bought myself a Jo Malone candle for an 0 birthday - and lit it after 2 years.

I use all the good stuff, I eat my dinner off plates that cost £50 25 years ago

persisted · 21/12/2023 22:21

Yes, use the lovely things. The good jewellery, the perfume, the nicer handbag, whatever. I want those small moments of pleasure, that's why I have them in the first place after all.

I have had this argument with my mum in the past and have made her promise to use things I have given as gifts.

OneCup · 21/12/2023 22:21

To me, it's more about experiences. if I was diagnosed with an incurable disease with only a month to live, I don't think I would care whether I did make good use of my cashmere jumper. I would however regret not having done stuff, told stuff to people

OhThatHappenedWhatNow · 21/12/2023 22:22

Live for today

headcheffer · 21/12/2023 22:25

Ask yourself, what would the moment look like when you considered it a "best enough" moment to use those things? And realise, you're imagining a moment that may never come. Whereas use them now and you become the type of person that has lovely stuff to use!

OnlyCorrect · 21/12/2023 22:29

I always open/use/eat the best things first! But what are these pretty cleaning sponges of which ye speak? May inspire me to do a bit more cleaning 😅

Kiitos · 21/12/2023 22:31

Stuff doesn’t keep forever. Especially things like perfume, toiletries and champagne. If you don’t use things like this they spoil anyway.
As a poster upthread said, if you’re not using something then you’re already living without it, wise words!
Plus I think to myself, there will be more nice stuff. More presents etc so although I used to save things, now I just use them and enjoy them while they are at their best. Life can be hard, why not enjoy the little things?

Quinque · 21/12/2023 22:32

Clearing my aunt's house after she'd died was so poignant. Years' worth of gifts that she'd been given, carefully stored, some still in gift wrappings, various scented items their smell long faded, pretty jumpers and scarves, china ornaments, mugs, tea towels even gift vouchers. All carefully put away for a special occasion that never came despite her living for 90 years!

ChaToilLeam · 21/12/2023 22:36

I remember helping to clear out my grandmother’s things after she died. The Salvation Army got a good haul of all the things she had kept for best, brand new clothes and towels and linen, all in their wrappers. How sad she didn’t enjoy these things while she was alive, she loved pretty things. Make sure to use all yours while you can, and let the people who have gifted you things how much you appreciate it!

Helenahandkart · 21/12/2023 22:37

When I cleared my grandmother’s house she had drawers and drawers full of beautiful things she’d never used, and her day to day stuff was raggy and chipped. I vowed then to use the best stuff often.

FofB · 21/12/2023 22:39

Use it. After moving twice with all the 'nice' glasses in special boxes and rarely used, I decided it was ridiculous. Chucked the boxes and used the glasses.