Anyone else not use their ‘nice’ stuff?

[Fairylightstwinkle]

I have things that are nice but I never use. For example, I have some pretty cleaning cloths and sponges, nice shower gel etc.

Always feels like they’re too good to use, which is so silly.

Is anyone else like this? I want to start using my nice stuff! How do you get over it and use your nice things?

I was raised like this. And I don’t understand it at all. So many food items went off/stale before they were finished, toiletries went off or lost their scent. Clothes, bags, shoes went out of fashion. I just use things now and enjoy them. I use my designer handbag everyday and it brings me so much joy. I eat lovely chocolates when I receive them, not keep them for months and months.

I do with things like nice candles, I can only light them if the house is tidy and I'm relaxed. Otherwise it feels like a waste. But other than that I'm okay

Use it. Use all of it. I went through a very serious mental health dip and since I've come out of it I've embraced using the nice stuff. I liberally apply the Penhaligons perfume I was gifted and the Molton Brown soap isn't saved for guests. The beautiful hand crafted bath bombs? Too right I'm using them on a random Tuesday! Those posh coffee pods? Get them drunk! That prosecco lurking at the back of the fridge you were given by your boss and are waiting for an occasion to drink it, it's Friday, that's reason enough...

I had the same experience as PPs, cleaned out my Grans house and she had a whole room dedicated to stuff for best. Unopened, unused. I now use things I like, when I like.

That said I do think there is merit to some things being special - it's nice to have specific things for parties or Christmas, or for dressing up and feeling a bit special, knowing they won't get wrecked quickly in the day to day havoc of my life with 3 kids.

Not dishcloths though. They don't make me feel special 😁

You just use whatever you have. If it gets damage/worn out/breaks, then that's life. Once you start using these items, it'll be second nature to just use them. I don't have anything that I won't use like this. Just use everything.

Or you can think of it as a waste/hoard if it's not in use. Perhaps that would be helpful.

I had this mentally then realised I never go out (I have no friends) so if I were to save the nice dress for special it would never get worn. So I put it on and took myself out for dinner.

I used to, but what made me change was when DTs were small they had some beautiful traditional wool coats that were for 'best' and then my cousin pointed out they would fit for a short amount of time. They wore them all the time after that and it changed my perspective.

I have some pretty cleaning cloths and sponges

I had this mentally then realised I never go out (I have no friends) so if I were to save the nice dress for special it would never get worn. So I put it on and took myself out for dinner

Yeah that's fair. I find it far too easy to just wear old/slobby stuff mooching around at home all the time with the kids!

I have a couple of those, use them!

I was clearing out my dads house when he went into a care home with dementia.

The loft was stacked full of “nice things” my mum never used - she died 35 years ago. Things he’d never used. Things I was given for christmas and birthdays as a child, still in their boxes as “they might be worth something one day” (they are worthless, I remember being sad as a child that I couldn’t touch them).

Such a waste. It had just turned into mouldy old shit that went to the tip.

I don’t buy anything “nice” as I can’t be arsed with most things. But I use everything I buy.

Lots of people do, and it's reflected in the current fashions. I like to call the current trend "COVID never left us". It's easy to find comfy things and slob around but over time it will chip away at your self confidence.

Put the nice jeans on, the nice trainers, the nice sweater, some make up and a nice smell. Do it for you, no one else. Being a mum doesn't mean you have to give up on yourself.

Yes I agree

I used the RD stuff the other day and they are so beautiful so may use on Christmas Day otherwise what is the point of having them

I think it's because people had less stuff and couldn't or didn't replace it so it's passed down the generations

DM is like it too

I use the nice stuff. Except my Grandmother's lovely dishes because as others have said, they must be hand-washed. Special occasions only.

My late MIL did. It was heartbreaking when we were clearing her house to find so many lovely gifts we'd given her over the years unused/unopened.

Seriously, use the good stuff. When MIL died and we cleared out her cupboards and drawers, there was so much high quality perfume, body lotions and gift sets completely untouched.
Lots of them we’d bought her for Christmas and birthdays, they weren’t cheap at all, and it was such a shame to see that they had gone to waste. If she hadn’t wanted them, she could’ve regifted or given to charity, but FIL told us she loved them, just whenever he suggested she use them, she told him it wasn’t a special enough occasion to do so. We’re talking expensive Chanel perfumes and similar, that she wore on our wedding day. She obviously thought that day was special enough! But then she died. Value yourself enough to use nice things and know you’re worth it.

Me and DH were both raised like this. I'm almost out of it to some extent but he's still a bit like this. However, he's seeing the error of his ways as he went to put on a posh sweater I bought him two Christmas's ago and it had been munched by moths as it had been kept in his wardrobe 'for best'!

I was like this with clothes until years ago (2019- -ish) I read something by ‘Style by Suzie’. It made me realise that there’s no point having the semi-nice stuff in the cupboard so I now wear dresses, nice tops, etc more frequently.

Oh, I call them Minkys and use them all the time.

The joy of using nice things far far outweighs the possible downsides (they break/run out). Why are you saving them? Use the fancy china, bath in the expensive oils, light the pretty candles and enjoy them. Really and truly it's the only point of having beautiful things. It makes me sad that my parents' "best" stuff sits in the cupboard all the time and gets used at best once a year. I'm not suggesting serving fish gingers to a toddler on bone china plates but enjoy the things you've bought or people have given you.

I use everything - it's there to be enjoyed and I don't mind if something gets damaged in the process.

When my sister cleared out her mums house she found all the presents she’d been given, never used. There were Irish lined bed sheets still with the blue ribbon around them that broke into squares. She inherited jewellery that she could never wear because they were “for best” and heard her mums voice in her head. 1920s beaded flapper dresses that disintegrated into piles of beads. Soaps from the 30s all trace of scent vanished. Too sad.

When my gran died we found her wedding presents kept for "best". I still use the towels, but I feel sad that she didn't get to enjoy them. She always used the cheapest things she could get.

Use it or lose it is my thinking. The only time I don’t use my ‘best’ is when diy or gardening and cleaning happens. Otherwise what’s the point of owning it or buying it if it’s not going to be used. Just extra clutter.

I used to keep stuff for 'best'. Then I realised that 'best' never came, and 'good enough' was all I was going to get, and I started using them. Gradually, you don't have to rip open all the packets at once, just start with one or two things. When you realise the joy it brings to use nice things and have nice things around you, it feels so good!