AIBU or is this a bit weird? Ebay purchasing and odd behaviour.

[Antsinmypantsneedtodance]

Bought an item on ebay. Never really bought anything over a few pounds before but bought something worth more.

No problems. Dispatched quickly but when it turned up it had clearly been packaged incorrectly. A fragile item basically wrapped in a single sheet of plastic with a few bits of card in odd places. As expected when I opened it it was significantly damaged. It was also described as new but had clear signs of use. Requested a return and seller issued a refund right away. Great.

My understanding of ebay is that when refund is issued you can't get a return label via ebay. Well seller then messages asking me to send it back. Asking for email address for label to be sent to. Can i drop it to a parcel shop (nearest is 20 plus minute drive away and i dont have a printer). Being a little expectant imo. Its now worth a quarter of what I paid for it, if that, based on damage. I know the product well.

I agree to send back but can't any time soon due to other commitments (christmas). As a way of making everyone's life easier I offer to pay what its now likely worth and paypal payment. As i can fix it enough for what i want it for. This is ignored. Then it gets weird. I get a message saying they're in the area tonight and will collect between 19.30 and 20.00. They're not local at all. Then they say they'll call me to confirm. Because i'm a bit freaked out by this I've left it outside the door and told them this and locked up. Plus is i dont have to goto parcel shop i suppose.

Does this sound right? Can an ebay seller have your phone number and address? I mean i know they post stuff to you but surely they dont keep the address? How do they get your phone number?

All feels a bit wrong to me and has put me off ebay! What if there was a payment dispute and it had gone in my favour. Wouldn't really like the thought of someone having my address in these circumstances. Is this normal ebay behaviour?

Yes the seller will still have access to your address and phone number but this definitely isn't normal ebay behaviour!
I suppose it's fine for them to ask for you to return the item (although this would normally be done before the refund) but turning up at your house if very strange. I certainly wouldn't be answering the door tonight if I were you but try not to worry about it.

I certainly wouldn’t be answering the door, but I have always had entire access to a buyer’s full name, address, AND phone number when they purchase any item. Never had reason to use it, but eBay most certainly includes that information. It’s a bit layered beneath order details, but they certainly would have had access to your contact info without any creepy stalking.

Don't leave it out for them to collect....surely then you have no proof you've sent it back and they will just dispute with eBay to have their refund returned to them?

Exactly what I thought.

I’d be really worried 🙈

@Antsinmypantsneedtodance did they collect it?

They collected. I was putting DD to bed. Picked up whole thing on ring doorbell and have saved footage and messages, so I have some proof. The refund is already in my bank account and its an account that generally has a balance of £0 and no overdraft. Also as a woman I didnt feel particularly comfortable with a man saying he'll turn up and to leave it somewhere, not even is it okay or would it be possible. If i hadnt what would he do? Turn up anyway and knock constantly? Worried me with a young child in the house. It has completely put me off ebay that's for sure. Hopefully just a niave man who's a bit clueless about making women feel vunerable and was trying to be helpful.

I checked it was gone after DD asleep and found several bags of posh carrots onnthe doorstep in its place (they were delivering to a vegetable plant nearby which is a legit business i know well). A weird one for sure. Going to hope it was legit. If not we'll see I guess. As far as i can find out once refund is issued ebay consider the case closed. So i don't think they can dispute.