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Original poster

In thinking it's not ok to reveal your son's ASD diagnosis to 4million strangers on Instagram?

257 replies

Dabralor · 21/12/2023 09:46

Mrs Hunch - Instagram cleaning woman- has posted a pic with her little son. He's had an autism diagnosis confirmed.

How can it be justifiable to share his private medical information with all these random strangers? Wherever he goes now in his life, a quick Google search will reveal really personal information about him. This information is no longer his to possess.

If my parents had done this to me, I don't think I could ever forgive them. I feel really sorry for the kids of social media stars 😔.

OP posts:
Fundays12 · 21/12/2023 10:58

I think it's awful I have 2 out of 3 of my kids who have medical conditions including some detailed on this thread. I do not discuss them on social media. It's there personal information to share not mine. Those who are close to us know nobody else needs to unless my children decide they want to tell them. One decided to disclose to his whole class during a learning discussion around differences and nuerodiversity. I was so proud of him.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 21/12/2023 10:58

Mrs Hinch, yes she overshares. Is it good to raise this diagnosis now openly? In one way yes and in others no.

As many people I still think are undiagnosed with ASD/ADHD etc and there’s still quite a stigma attached to having these conditions then it can only be a good thing that she has shared her son’s diagnosis to raise awareness.

Hecate01 · 21/12/2023 10:59

ManateeFair · 21/12/2023 10:53

I find it interesting that people are really angry about an influencer doing this, but when an actor or a tv presenter mentions their children have ASD in a magazine interview (or makes an entire TV documentary about it like at least one celebrity I can think of) people don't rush to Mumsnet to complain.

Sally Philips' son has Down's Syndrome and she talks about it constantly and is praised for 'raising awareness', not slagged off for sharing his personal medical info.

Totally agree. I'm sick of hearing about Kate Garraways life since her husband became ill but she gets a round of applause and a MBE or whatever it was for raising awareness but others get slated. It's a funny old world.

Spidey66 · 21/12/2023 10:59

A cousin of mine has a young child with type 1 diabetes and uses her social media to raise awareness of it, and raise funds for research etc. Its never bothered me but I suppose my cousin doesn't have as many followers and they're likely to be just friends and family!

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 21/12/2023 10:59

Fundays12 · 21/12/2023 10:58

I think it's awful I have 2 out of 3 of my kids who have medical conditions including some detailed on this thread. I do not discuss them on social media. It's there personal information to share not mine. Those who are close to us know nobody else needs to unless my children decide they want to tell them. One decided to disclose to his whole class during a learning discussion around differences and nuerodiversity. I was so proud of him.

Yes, but you’re not an influencer. Whereas Mrs Hinch is.

we can discuss/criticise influencers all day long here though!

YouStupidGirl · 21/12/2023 11:01

I can't stand these people who share every aspect of their life on SM to make money full stop. Feel very sorry for the children who have absolutely no say.

They have sold their soul to the devil IMO.

x2boys · 21/12/2023 11:04

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 21/12/2023 10:58

Mrs Hinch, yes she overshares. Is it good to raise this diagnosis now openly? In one way yes and in others no.

As many people I still think are undiagnosed with ASD/ADHD etc and there’s still quite a stigma attached to having these conditions then it can only be a good thing that she has shared her son’s diagnosis to raise awareness.

Hoes it raising awareness ?its a massive spectrum ,all.it can do is show how their autism affects them
It often gives the wrong impression, of what autism is and how it can massively impact some .

Fundays12 · 21/12/2023 11:05

I don't follow "influencers" generally and part of the reason is because a lot seem to use there kids to earn money. I am not saying that's the case for Mrs Hinch but letting thousands of not millions of people her sons private medical information without him having a say in it is wrong.

KvotheTheBloodless · 21/12/2023 11:05

I'm neurodivergent. The people who need to know I tell, but I'd absolutely hate for others to know, especially people at work. It's not her private medical information to share, it's her child's.

Holdingontilljuly · 21/12/2023 11:07

How is the child going to feel as a teenager or as an adult knowing there are no secrets as his mum over shares to all her followers?

41quid · 21/12/2023 11:08

ManateeFair · 21/12/2023 10:53

I find it interesting that people are really angry about an influencer doing this, but when an actor or a tv presenter mentions their children have ASD in a magazine interview (or makes an entire TV documentary about it like at least one celebrity I can think of) people don't rush to Mumsnet to complain.

Sally Philips' son has Down's Syndrome and she talks about it constantly and is praised for 'raising awareness', not slagged off for sharing his personal medical info.

Down's is a difficult one for me. Once upon a time, lifespan was such that loving parents could expect to outlive their children and 'keep them safe'. Now, medical treatments - and a welcome change in societal attitudes - means a longer life for the children, bringing more stress for the parents who worry about life after they've gone.

Candycurrantbun · 21/12/2023 11:09

You just told a whole lot more people. Even people who don't follow Mrs Hinch. Well done you.

YourNameGoesHere · 21/12/2023 11:11

Candycurrantbun · 21/12/2023 11:09

You just told a whole lot more people. Even people who don't follow Mrs Hinch. Well done you.

It's all over the internet and on the news. One mumsnet thread isn't making a jot of difference. The op isn't in the wrong here she wouldn't have been able to share anything about this child if his own mother valued his privacy.

stitchy · 21/12/2023 11:11

My 13yo ds has a diagnosis for a neurodivergent condition and I don't particularly tell people (good friends and family know) mainly because I think it's his business and it's up to him who he tells.
That said had I not read a post by an influencer Mum on IG about her son which set a light bulb off for me as my ds had exactly the same behaviour I wouldn't have known to push to get him assessed.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 21/12/2023 11:12

LonginesPrime · 21/12/2023 10:41

FWIW, for the vast majority of celebrities/influencers who share their child's diagnosis with the public, I suspect they have good intentions and simply haven't thought through the long-term consequences for the child.

Most are used to receiving support from their fan base and probably sometimes feel the need to seek it, and they're also probably keen to indicate they're not ashamed of the diagnosis and trying to model being open and positive about the diagnosis for their child's benefit, so it's not surprising that this happens.

I think it's unfortunate for the children to have that sensitive medical information in the public domain before they're old enough to be able to meaningfully consent to it, but I don't believe that most influencer/celebrity parents who do this are thinking "fuck my kid, money's more important".

It's hard to anticipate things you've never experienced, and if she is autistic and public about her diagnosis, it might not have occurred to her that other autistic people might have good reasons to want to keep it quiet in certain situations, because in her career it's probably been received positively.

Think you make some good points here. I think some "influencers " have been in their bubble so long they don't stop and think of any of life's experiences as maybe not being content and their own boundaries quickly become pretty blurred.

also for every follower who thinks like OP and perhaps disagree there will be 20 others who will be affronted if their beloved celeb are didn't share. I mean, they are her fans and love and support so swallow up all control before getting in with their days and actually letting any message or awareness go right over their heads.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 21/12/2023 11:13

Being private with your child’s diagnosis is not about being ashamed of being autistic it’s about allowing your child the autonomy to share THEIR diagnosis when they are old enough to understand the implications of doing so on such a public platform and are ready and able to deal with the consequences of doing so.

//

Absolutely this

Candycurrantbun · 21/12/2023 11:14

YourNameGoesHere · 21/12/2023 11:11

It's all over the internet and on the news. One mumsnet thread isn't making a jot of difference. The op isn't in the wrong here she wouldn't have been able to share anything about this child if his own mother valued his privacy.

Show quote history

Oh come on. We all know this thread has been posted because it's Mrs Hinch. I doubt such an outraged thread would have been posted if it was anyone else.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 21/12/2023 11:17

Wow sooo many typos in that post Grin

Swallow up content, not control, obv.

Charlize43 · 21/12/2023 11:18

It's a shame they don't have laws to protect children from these narcissistic influencers who's interest is to monetise them.

PigletJohn · 21/12/2023 11:19

I hope that in years to come the son feels able to share intimate details about his mum.

user14699084785 · 21/12/2023 11:19

When our kids were little I used to put cute pictures on SM.
But when we started school, one of the mums was a lawyer - she was very against sharing anything of our children’s info. You dont know what the future holds and what information they would or wouldnt want to be public knowledge as adults. It gave me food for thought and haven’t posted anything about them since.

OdeToBarney · 21/12/2023 11:19

She can't win. It's fairly obvious from what she already shares that he's autistic, so if she ignored these questions from her followers, she'd be accused of being opaque. Now she's shared it, she's accused of doing it for money and engagement.

Of course the obvious way to avoid this would be to not share her DC online in the first place. I don't agree with it at all. I can't imagine what it will be like for these kids in the future when their potential employers (or anyone else) googles them and sees all of this private information online. I'd be horrified if I was in that position. I have shared one picture of DD on FB (closed account) as a newborn. And nothing since. And I have no intention of sharing anything else about her. It's no one's business. If family want to see her, they can see her in person. And when she's old enough, and educated in online safety, she can decide if/what she wants to share herself.

Hayliebells · 21/12/2023 11:19

No I agree, it's not right at all. But then I don't really agree with posting anything about others (child or adult) on social media without their express permission, including photos of them. A young child can't really give permission, so I wouldn't do it. I'm not surprised an influencer has though.

wherethewaterisdarker · 21/12/2023 11:21

I think it’s morally unjustifiable to share images of children online (even more so if it’s done through an influencer lens for financial gain) let alone intimate details about their health/identity etc… it freaks me out how normalised it has become with seemingly very little intelligent discussion about the repercussions for these non-consenting children. I would probably call it child abuse actually, though know that is inflammatory.

Cakeandcardio · 21/12/2023 11:21

100% agree OP. I have never even shared a picture of my son on my personal social media accounts. It isn't my right to share them.

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