Refused test after multiple miscarriages because of other children

[Desgusten]

Also posted in the MC/pregnancy loss
board FYI

I have had 2 successful pregnancies, but multiple miscarriages as well.

I have now had my 6th MC, and have now met the three in a row threshold. My others were interspersed with having my 2 living children.

the GP has said I still cannot have any tests because:

1 - I have had successful pregnancies in the past
2 - I had some blood tests such as thyroid etc (for something unrelated) eight months ago and they were ok

my DH has had multiple surgeries in the last year and I’m worried that could have affected things (one was a testicular op) and my last pregnancy I had a really traumatic birth. My concern was either of these things may have had an effect but that was disregarded. I have had MCs between 7 and 14 weeks.

WWYD? I know I’m lucky to have the children I do, and I am grateful. But it is still painful to lose a pregnancy.

Worth going private? Or just asking to see another GP?

I too had two children interspersed with a total of 3 mc, then a further 3 in a row. I got tests immediately after the first of those (no. 4 altogether). Clotting issues were found but I still mc again on heparin. Nothing unusual in our karyotypes, though mc 5 was due to a rareish chromosomal issue. I did eventually have a third child (on heparin), but I'll never really know why I miscarried so often.

I'm notin the UK. A statutory insurance system paid for my tests, so clearly considered them valid.

Wanting another child in this situation has nothing whatsoever to do with existing children not being 'enough'.

I was honestly ready for the “be grateful for what you have” replies - it’s just the same stick I’ve been beating myself with.

Of course there is a part of me feeling guilty for wanting another when we have two wonderful children already. But I’ve thrashed that out in therapy for ages and made up my mind (along with DH) so those replies are of no use or effect.

Do you really think that if I could just move on like that I would be starting this thread?

The reason I started the thread is because I thought the GP who said I couldn’t be referred was incorrect. That has been confirmed. We have decided how to go from here.

Thanks so much for all of the supportive, helpful replies. Have a wonderful Christmas 💖

have you had the length of your cervix checked? may be incompetent

I'm delighted for you and hopefully this is the start of the next journey for you. Also that shitty comment has been deleted so don't worry, the majority of sane people care and hope the best for you.

I'm sorry for your terrible loss.

I totally agree with you. Why do people think it's remotely 'helpful' to tell the OP to be grateful for what she has? I also had miscarriages after two successful pregnancies. I was seeing my obs privately for antenatal care and next pregnancy he put me on progesterone and 75mg asprin, and I had my DC3.

@Desgusten I would opt for private testing in your shoes. NHS will probably take forever anyway.

I think it would be helpful to speak to the Tommy or miscarriage association helpline who May be able to help with givong ammunition to deal with gp who as others have said are clearly mixing up infertility and miscarriage treatment options.
I have a neighbour with several children who had support for miscarriages later in life and went on to have more successful pregnancies.
I'm sorry for your losses and I hope you find access to good care.

We are going to see a (different) GP again and request them to refer me/extradite the care to our local fertility centre which is world leading and who have already agreed that I meet the criteria to be seen. They are going to send me a breakdown of how/what they investigate.

I'm glad you're able to do something.

I know I found it very hard when I had my second of two miscarriages and the consultant suggested progesterone/asprin, because I just wished he'd tried that before.

I know having my 3rd DC healed the hurt of my mcs and I feel they were the baby that I was always meant to have. I hope it will be the same for you.

If you want a baby, you want a baby and don't let any of the nasty, judgemental responses get to you x

The comments about being grateful for the children you have when referring to loses is insensitive and cruel.
I am on the fence about the NHS funding investigations into miscarriages when a person has managed to have healthy pregnancies and has children. However, if the criteria say OP is eligible, then she’s eligible.

Just a little update. I contacted the recurrent miscarriage clinic at the hospital myself. They confirmed we are eligible for investigations and I have already had my first appointment. Fingers crossed. Thanks all

I would push back. My MC were caused by a clotting issue that could cause severe consequences for my health. You need to know for your own health

That’s brilliant news! What tests have they offered. I need to book in with the clinic but I had an appointment with Tommys and was told all my results were normal after miscarriages and she is stumped as I’ve had living children before my 2 midterm losses.

For now, blood tests and then a face to face after the results. And then go from there.

and if I were to get pregnant again I would automatically get extra scans at 7 & 9 weeks.

wishing you luck @Pumpkinspice13

Other things would also include genetic testing on fetal tissue if I had another MC.

Honestly I’m so relieved. Just to feel listened to. If the results say it’s not worth trying again I will accept that. But at least I won’t have to live with the “what if we tried just one more time”

The GP is talking nonsense. They should have offered a referral after three miscarriages. Whether you already have children is irrelevant. This is not fertility treatment and some causes of miscarriage could impact your health in future so worth checking for causes.

Just realised you have an appointment now. Good!

Investigation for miscarriage isn't fertility treatment and it isn't really available privately (at least, it wasn't when I had my miscarriages which TBF was 15 years ago.
See another GP or push back with this one. It can also be related to general health issues e.g. clotting problems.

That'll teach me not to RTWT! Good news.

Ive been in your shoes.

I have accepted, I'm not going to expect our overstretched NHS to pay for miscarriage investigations for me to pursue having a third child & larger than average family. Its simply not necessary when there are people desperately ill and we are struggling to fund their care.

Ask again. I have 2 children and since then have had 3 miscarriages in a row and my GP referred me for investigations straight away. It seems to be the general rule. I had the letter through from the clinic really quickly and the first thing is comprehensive blood tests that they want to go through, then you get to see someone. Good luck

I have now got an appointment and had my bloods done, waiting for those results. Thank you 💙

I'm so pleased you have finally been listened to OP and I'm so sorry for your losses.

How long did it take to hear back from the clinic? I was referred in 2022 after my 3rd I was aware of the long waiting list 12+ months so decided to keep trying and I managed to have my rainbow May 2023, I've unfortunately found myself going through another loss. I spoke to my new GP and they have put in my referral I'm worried I will be rejected because I had a baby between my losses.

I hope you are able to find some answers.

My appointments have been cancelled multiple times and I am still waiting for an appointment. They can’t give me a waiting time.