Refused test after multiple miscarriages because of other children

[Desgusten]

Also posted in the MC/pregnancy loss
board FYI

I have had 2 successful pregnancies, but multiple miscarriages as well.

I have now had my 6th MC, and have now met the three in a row threshold. My others were interspersed with having my 2 living children.

the GP has said I still cannot have any tests because:

1 - I have had successful pregnancies in the past
2 - I had some blood tests such as thyroid etc (for something unrelated) eight months ago and they were ok

my DH has had multiple surgeries in the last year and I’m worried that could have affected things (one was a testicular op) and my last pregnancy I had a really traumatic birth. My concern was either of these things may have had an effect but that was disregarded. I have had MCs between 7 and 14 weeks.

WWYD? I know I’m lucky to have the children I do, and I am grateful. But it is still painful to lose a pregnancy.

Worth going private? Or just asking to see another GP?

Putting yourself, husband, body and everyone’s MH through this time and time again when there is no need and you have two wonderful healthy children who love, rely on and need you? The mind boggles.

Couldn't agree more with you. I lost a baby at nearly 5 months pregnant and had people say be greatful for the two 've got and u don't need any more. Its highly insensitive, if someone had 4 children and 2 died somehow you wouldn't tell them be great full you still have two so why do people say that to people who have mc. Also I'm so sorry for the loss of your twins

OP - I had two healthy babies in my late 20’s. Took some time to focus on my career before TTC again at 35. I had 4 miscarriages - got referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic but waiting list was so long I had a successful pregnancy before I was seen. I then had a healthy baby and then 3 more miscarriages. Was then seen at the recurrent miscarriage clinic. They did some basic investigations but were clear that intervention wasn’t an option for me (I didn’t want it anyway). Investigations didn’t find anything and the consultant said it was probably just old egg and old sperm! I finally got pregnant again and had a 4th healthy baby so 11 pregnancies - 4 babies. I’m done.

so yes, you should be referred to recurrent miscarriages service - but investigations and treatment options are very limited. I was told to take low dose aspirin and I think was offered progesterone if I fell pregnant. I was also given a reassurance scan at 8 wks. I know people who have gone private and taken treatment for NK T cells so if you can afford it it might be worth looking at private options. You are entitled to basic investigations on the NHS though.

finally, secondary infertility is hard - sending you a big hug and the reassurance that you can have a successful pregnancy after multiple losses.

So sorry for your losses OP…

I think it’s definitely worth either pushing back with GP or going private if you want more children. You are allowed to want more children (even if you have 2) if you have the capacity to look after them!

I would say though investigation sounds like a much better option than carrying on trying naturally and maybe going through more losses to the detriment of your well being and your existing family’s happiness x

This isn't infertility so you should be offered investigations and treatment through the NHS. It will probably be slow though. I went private as time wasn't on my side and the tests were more thorough and the treatment more erm thorough or intensive I guess. My GP was good at doing most of the blood test type stuff to save money and even did a lot of my drugs on repeat prescription. I can recommend CRP clinic in epsom and Harley street. I am cuddling my 8 week old now after over six years of secondary infertility and 4 miscarriages. Not cheap though!

Genetics HCP here. There could be a genetic reason for your miscarriages, and having previous children does not exclude this.
I would have thought you could ask for a referral to a recurrent miscarriage clinic through the NHS. It's quite difficult to get your own karyotype done as it is preferred if the pregnancy tissue is tested, however this may be possible, and is definitely indicated.
it's a matter of exclusion of causes, if you have normal chromosomes the miscarriage is less likely to be caused by that, but spontaneous different genetic issues can also occur, which is why testing pregnancy tissue is preferred.

Go private.

it’s not as expensive as you think.
it’s faster.
you choose your dr /consultant and clinic (success rate vary wildly)

I have two children. I had two miscarriages. It was only from investigations that I requested due to these failed pregnancies that I was diagnosed with polycystic ovaries, ehlers danlos syndrome, anaemia, cervical erosion, fibroids and a bicornuate uterus. I was under a good consultant gynaecologist who ran blood tests, but also did ultrasound and inserted a camera. Regardless of whether you have more children or not, I think you would be entitled to expert care due to what has happened. This would be due to a potential problem in your body, and not so much about future fertility or family plans. You should get this on the NHS; albeit with a long wait for an appointment. If you can afford to pay, see a specialist privately for one or two appointments. They can fast track you back into their NHS clinic if they feel you need onward treatment. This is what I have done this year, and in a previous year to deal with some serious health issues. Sarcoma was only diagnosed because I went private, and the surgeon sent the tumour for molecular genetics analysis. The NHS had previously misdiagnosed it as benign, and five GP's had refused to refer me to specialist care. I ended up going back and demanding care as I knew something was wrong. This is why I recommend you see someone private if you can afford to.

Go private for fertility testing. The nhs aren’t going to help you and it’ll give you the answers you need.

@Desgusten OP I hate to be that person but have you had a recent sti screen? that and a private Gynaecology app can't hurt.

I would see another GP, mine didn't refer me for years, but I saw another about something else, and they referred me immediately, turns out the issue was caused by the difficult birth of my PFB (same partner).

Hi OP, I’m sorry to hear about your losses.

Use this tool: https://www.miscarriagetool.tommys.org/ to find out what you’re entitled to on the NHS. I believe that many trusts will not investigate if you have more than one living child, but this will tell you more.

Shocked at some of the comments to be honest. I have 5 living children, no miscarriages before or in between them, this year I have had 2 mid term losses and have been referred to Tommys. Having living children doesn’t mean you are not aloud to want to have a baby, it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve treatment or to find out why your babies have passed. Im so sorry for everything you have been through! Hospital sent my doctors a letter suggesting a referral and when I went in to see them they had received it and sent the referral that day.

I wonder if they are trying to save money and they would only support you if you didn't already have children. Maybe purely on a statistical scale you aren't a priority for intervention. Not that it helps with broken hearts OP. I'm so sorry for your losses its the worst.

My friends first 2 pregnancies were followed by 2 very sad miscarriages.
She was found to have tiny blood clots that blocked the placental vessels.As she became older the clotting tendency worsened which was why her earlier pregnancies were fine.
Sorry your GP is being so difficult but you do need a second opinion.
My friends 5th pregnancy resulted in a beautiful baby girl but she had to give herself daily heparin injections during the pregnancy.

i think its perfectly understandable for anyone to question why you'd put yourself and your husband through the trauma of multiple miscarriages and investigations when you have 2 healthy children to focus on. I think most people relying to this thread will have had miscarriages themselves. If the miscarriages are due to chromosomal abnormalities then what if a 3rd child is born with severe disabilities? what if the pregnancy makes it to the 20 wk scan and that shows significant abnormalities ( (happened to my friend with her third child, devastating). it's not uncaring to suggest perhaps focus on the children you have, as multiple pregnancy losses have an impact not just on the mother but those in her family too.

@Desgusten I'm sorry for your losses.

You may be able to get advice and recommendations on how to proceed, on the Infertility board here. If your GP thinks you aren't eligible for investigations in your local area (which is not the case across the country, as there are plenty of places where having a living child is not an exclusion criteria for investigations into recurrent miscarriages), you may need to go privately. Tommy's may also be a useful resource to explore.

I'm sure lots of people will express their own views on family size and reproductive decisions, but your hopes and preferences are just that... Yours. If having another child is what you (and your husband) want, then it's not really anyone's business but yours.

For those asking I am 33

I wouldn’t want or expect IVF on the NHS - I’m not sure we would even want to try it if we were told that was our only option. And I’m not sure that’s even relevant because actually getting pregnant doesn’t seem to be the problem.

But if it is a straightforward answer eg “take this when you are pregnant and it should help/solve the problem” then that would be great. It might be something they can diagnose and treat. Wouldn’t you want to know?

If you've had 3 consecutive miscarriages then you're eligible for recurrent miscarriage screening via the NHS.

If not, you could go private - a recurrent miscarriage profile blood test costs c£1,400. If you have private medical insurance via your employer thus might be covered (mine was covered via Bupa).

The baby loss charity Tommy's may also be able to help you, or advise on best next steps. Take a look at their website.

I agree that it's unfortunately quite likely a chromosomal issue (for which there's unlikely to be a cure) but it makes sense to do some tests to rule out autoimmune conditions given you've had so many losses.

IVF can actually help with recurrent miscarriage, if they can identify the issue. If you're miscarrying because of chromosomal abnormalities, you can have your embryos tested for abnormalities before any are transferred.

But I totally agree with PP, the number of children you already have should have no impact on your access to treatment for recurrent miscarriage. It's appalling that so many women are just left to it. I would definitely push back if I were you. This is a serious and incredibly painful thing to go through, and absolutely not a waste of NHS time/resources.

Good luck x

So I called the big fertility centre near us.

They were actually super helpful and said that although they offer these tests privately if you have had one or more MCs, if you have had 3+ a lot of the local HPs can extradite your care to them if you ask. They said they would be happy to see us privately in two weeks time but we could push the GP to refer us there and they will see us for free, the waitlist is about 6 weeks for that. Fingers crossed.

Thanks for the supportive replies.

I do feel hopeful that we might get some answers and at least some people give a shit.

This is unbelievably rude and none of your business. It's not constructive to the op. This isn't the place to judge someone. She asked for advise.

Op. I said it earlier. I lost my twin babies after birth 6 weeks ago and I had 2 miscarriages before that. Wanting another baby is normal and healthy, ignore the sh#t you are getting here telling you to enjoy what you have. Nothing can fill that empty feeling when loss occurs but there is a beauty in having a child and I hope that comes again soon for you xxx

Some of these posts! I have two children. I have also had two miscarriages one of which was traumatic. Why wouldn't I go for another? Why shouldn't OP if she wants to?