to think this should be more than enough to live of?

[Jennyscarkey]

I am feeling really shit at the moment. I never seem to have any money and I work long hours and thought I had a decent income. I’m one of the lowest paid in my team but I came from a poor background and I’m just grateful to have had the opportunity to earn more than minimum wage. Yet even though I earn more than I ever thought possible for someone like me and where I grew up, I don’t think I can manage my money at all? My take home pay is 3,600. I am a single parent and also get 300 on top of this for maintenance. My rent is 900 and my little girl goes to nursery full time and that costs 1,400 a month. I claim the tax free part. I don’t have other outgoings expect 200 a month on a loan and usual utilities. Don’t have sky or Netflix etc.

I have gone through my cards to see what I’m spending and honestly it is just food, petrol, entry to soft play or a lunch here and there. I don’t buy clothes or make up or go on holiday. I was paid again yesterday and I had 2 pounds left before the money came in. I just don’t know where I am going wrong? I will never be able to afford a mortgage at the way this is going.

Could you get a soft play membership or for somewhere you could visit often. It’s expensive as a one off cost but then you have it all year.

Take more packed lunches out with you. Eating out is extortionate and as nice as it is when you have little kids it’s the first thing to go. Not many people eat out regularly,

Also what are you buying in your food shop?? Maybe go for a lower brand as this will have a bit impact and meal plan so you’re not wasting anything. We don’t spend that much as a family of 4 and we don’t have your income.

@pumpkinfarm no he is here once a fortnight for a day. I have asked him to do more but says he can’t. I’ve also asked about nursery and he says he will try and pay 50 quid more a month next year but he’s not confirmed yet

This is a single parent on £67k, so the other 36% of her salary is worth an awful lot more than most peoples'.

My food shop is stuff like salmon fillets, mince beef, chicken, yoghurt, veg, biscuits. I don’t think it’s anything out of the ordinary but I’m very much open to suggestions

Salmon fillets is luxury food.

Two salmon fillets for around a fiver in most supermarkets. You're not racking up bills of £170 a week on salmon. Make it a project to look through your supermarket receipt and see where the money's going. Are you buying lots of booze? Feeding a partner you haven't mentioned? Buying stuff from the corner shop where you'll pay 30% more for everything? Having regular takeaways? Audit yourself and then draw up a budget.

Nonsense
Salmon is a staple meal food

Luxuries are biscuits, crisps, sweets, branded items, butter, cream and high end ingredients such as porcini mushrooms, sunblush tomatoes, seaweed etc..

I might have missed it but I don't know if anyone has suggested you get a food delivery rather than going into the shop.

I find it 100s of times easier to stick to my list and compare prices by using the app for the supermarket than I do going into the shop. I have a recurring weekly delivery, I just add stuff to it as it runs out, add in my staple bits etc.

Yes - delivery does cost but you can buy a delivery pass, get deliveries at the less popular times etc. I think when you consider the lack of impulse purchases and forgotten items (which leads to more trips and more impulse purchases). It works out much cheaper.

OP, I'm a single mum with one child. Certainly you can cut your food costs. Salmon portions are about £2.50 per portion, which count as luxury in our house.

I work on £1.30 to £1.50 per portion of protein - Cassoulet made with pork shoulder and bacon, or fish pie made with frozen hake and frozen mussels. three-egg omelettes with cheddar, tomatoes and oven chips, peppers stuffed with parslied sausage meat with garlic bread, chicken casserole, veggie curry with lentils.

I avoid brands, cook from scratch, meal plan, cook in bulk & freeze portions. It all helps. I spend £60 a week for two. Plenty of fresh fruit & veg.

Realistically you could save £300 a month on food alone. But it takes time & practice.

Firstly, just wanted to say I think you're doing an amazing job! And I wouldn't cut out the lunches- as others have said, that's your time to catch up with friends and you deserve those. If it were me, I'd prioritise those. Being a single parent without support from the father must be tough.

The main thing that stood out to me from your post is you said you were the lowest paid on your team. And you were grateful for the salary. Do you think you're underpaid if you do some research on pay in your sector?

I think it's much easier to boost your income than try to cut back on £20 here or £30 off your shopping. I came back from shared leave after my son, and realised I was really underpaid. I spoke to recruitment specialists to benchmark the salary for my role. And then I went to management with evidence I was underpaid and asked for a pay rise. Was so nerve wracking and uncomfortable but I got more that £1k extra a month. Could you do something like that if you're the least well paid person?

If you're spending £170 a week for one adult and one child, there's something out of the ordinary going on. Agree with @Pluvia though, while salmon isn't the cheapest, unless you're having it every meal I don't think that's where the money is going.

Your take home income is £3900 and your rent is £900 and nursery £1400.

So you have £1600 left to feed, keep warm and clothe you and a 3 year old?

Yes I do think that's fine.

Agree with PPs, there’s no way that adds up, OP. None of it sounds expensive…

Whats a typical week of meals? Chillie? Chicken salad? Meatballs?

Could be you’re buying expensive cuts or eating particularly expensive ingredients

@Baffledandalarmed so salmon fillets 5 pounds, mince meat 4, kitchen roll 3, fruit 2 pounds, veg 3 pounds, biscuits 3 pounds, toilet roll 6, dettol wipes 3, frozen fish 5, milk 1, potatoes 2, orange juice 2, yoghurt 3, pasta sauce 3, couple of baby meals ready made 3.

This happens three times a week so around 150 in total.

I think it's the bits and bobs on all the top up shops. OP says she's doing several a week and usually in a rush. Those occasions are a money suck.

Your food bill seems really high to me and I’m not frugal. Do you throw a lot away?

Better meal planning would help, and you may find you actually save money by having a weekly shop delivered as it allows you to spend time looking at offers and planning better.

Things will improve when childcare costs go down/disappear.

Could you buy some washable cloths rather than kitchen rolls?

Also if you buy the list above three times a week, what on earth are you doing with six salmon fillets and 3lb Mince between an adult and toddler. 1lb of Mince does 4 portions of spag bol.

1lb Mince- 4 portions of soag bol or cottage pie (2 night)
Salmon fillets - one night
Fish with sauce - one night
Chicken thighs - one night
Omelette one night
Macaroni cheese one night

And £9 a week on biscuits

Okay! Now I see the issues.

Ultimately, sounds like you’re not meal prepping and buying as you go - which always ends badly! I imagine you have a lot of wastage? The main ‘food’ (mince, salmon, pasta sauce, frozen fish) sounds like enough to feed you and DC for a week yet you’re buying it several times a week? So I assume you throw a fair bit out?

It’s not always easy when you’re busy and with a child it’s even harder, but it only takes 5 mins on a Sunday to meal plan for the week and it really is key! Stops wastage as well.

For example, assuming you’re buying 500g of mince that should do four meals (so two days worth of food) at a minimum for two adults. More if one of you is a child. I can make it to six portions (and I am a total fatty!) as I also pad out with extra onion and pepper - cheap and healthy! So if you padded it out like I do, although it’s not exciting, it would be three nights of meals and you could jazz it up with chips or jacket instead of rice - would cost maybe £15 for three days worth of chilli + whatever you wish to serve it with. Freeze it the day you cook it and then just reheat in ten mins on the hob. Super quick if you’re busy.

Cutting down on food wastage and meal prepping isn’t always exciting - and when you’re busy, finding new recipes to try that uses leftover mince etc is just not your priority - but it does make a huge difference to your pocket.

I hope that helps!

Try Morrisons prepared fresh meals £5.50 for two servings and are delicious and pretty healthy, cook in one pan and take less than 20 mins. Even if you bought just them to have every day that's only £140 for the month, some potatoes, leeks, onion, veg stock cubes and cream for home made soup for lunch with a bread roll - keep excess rolls in the freezer to avoid throwing them out, I freeze these and alternate different soup flavours each day. Cereal, or yoghurt and fruit for breakfast.

24 rolls of toilet roll will keep for about 5 months in our house.

Cleaning products how much do you really need? Reduce kitchen towel usage for minor spillages by using jay clothes that can be washed in the machine and used again.

Food prepping really isn't hard make 5 different meals and freeze the left overs or have for lunch the next day when there's only 1.5 of you if you get organised you only actually have to cook every other week.
Spag bol
Chili
Lasagne
Thai green curry

So plenty of areas where you can cut down in the new year if you want to. You don't have to reduce everything radically but make changes on things you aren't that fussed about. Buy in large quantities, work out when stores have their deals, Morrisons almost all ways has offers on cleaning supplies around 'Pay Day' normally around the 20 I think.

Your use of 'we' suggests you are in a couple. As a single person the OP has more need to go out than you do

salmon fillets 5 pounds,
mince meat 4,
kitchen roll 3,
fruit 2 pounds,
veg 3 pounds,
biscuits 3 pounds,
toilet roll 6,
dettol wipes 3,
frozen fish 5,
milk 1,
potatoes 2,
orange juice 2,
yoghurt 3,
pasta sauce 3,
couple of baby meals ready made 3

That's a hell of a lot of food for one adult and a small child for 2/3 days.

The mince would probably make 3 meals for the pair of you, plus there's the salmon and frozen fish too, so that's a week's worth of main meals right there. Fruit and veg fine, but £2 buys a lot of potatoes, that would last a week too. Plus presumably sometimes you eat pasta or rice instead.

If you're spending £18 a week on kitchen roll and disposable wipes, you have a serious problem. Use sparingly and wet cloths instead most of the time. We never buy wipes and get a 4 pack of cheap kitchen roll that probably lasts a month or two and we use most of it to wipe up after what the cats have dragged in. Likewise toilet roll, you don't really buy £6 worth of toilet roll every 3 days do you?

Pasta sauce - we only ever get the nice jars on offer, eg Loyd Grosman or Heinz so they're now about £1.50, so again I don't understand what you're doing with £3 of pasta sauce in 2 days. We get 3 adult portions from a jar so I would have thought one jar would feed you both twice.

You must either be throwing a lot of food away, eat more than anyone could think possible or have cupboards etc rammed with food.

Can you batch cook and freeze or use over the next day or two a couple of times a week? If you make something different each time you can get into a rotation so eat a variety of food?

I am posting purely to say I think it's mad all the posters saying wow £3,900 you've got loads of money what are you struggling for.

Because you're a SINGLE parent. You've got to provide a home for two people, feed and clothe two people, on one salary. I am on the same sort of money as you OP. Mortgage/rent is the same. Our difference is that I have £500 nursery fees thanks to free hours. I do have pet dogs (insurance and food is at least £350 a month) and live in an old draughty house so my bills are eye watering. And I'm out in the sticks so have to drive everywhere.

I could cut things like a couple of coffees a week. But I work mainly from home and get very lonely. I use it as a chance to be around people even if it's for six minutes waiting in a queue and then going home again (usually after the nursery run when I am in town). That would be the first type of thing I willl need to cut if the books don't balance, but I won't be cutting it until I absolutely have to because gosh I need the social interaction with a grown up...

I do spend less on food. More like £80. But I do not eat properly. DD does. But on nursery days for example I don't eat dinner and often have a bowl of cereal for lunch. If I was eating properly I reckon I could easily spend £120.

The shopping you get three times a week makes no sense. The same things three times? Like others stated 6 salmon portions in a week?

Meal plan, loads of ideas online, have veggie days, bulk out with veg or pulses/ legumes and put an extra portion in the freezer for ease/money saving. Get shopping as a delivery.

You can absolutely eat well for less cash for one adult and a small child.

I didn’t buy a house till my late thirties so you still have time once the nursery costs have reduced but you seriously need to learn to budget and manage your money. If you reduced costs elsewhere you could absolutely enjoy lunch out a couple of times a month.

This. I also find the thread completely mad.

The OP is on an OK, presumably professional wage, which likely comes with time commitments, and a single parent to a small child to add. Quite bizarre reading posts from SAHMs suggesting to spend what would probably add to an equivalent of another working day on top of her schedule, just for all meal prep and trips to cheaper supermarkets.

OP, in early 30s I was freshly single, on £80K with two toddlers, and deeply in the red every month due to rent and childcare cost in London (absolutely cheapest nursery that I had to walk 40 mins to drop off in the morning before commuting another hour to work, and a cheapest mold infested flat over a chip shop). It does get better, I do own a house now and generally live an ok life, although without any surpluses or luxuries. It also felt to me then as the end of the world. It will get better for you too, the childcare cost will not magically disappear but will become more bearable, and there will be natural progression in your salary too if you keep on working. You are probably exhausted now and don't see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I promise you it is there.