to think this should be more than enough to live of?

[Jennyscarkey]

I am feeling really shit at the moment. I never seem to have any money and I work long hours and thought I had a decent income. I’m one of the lowest paid in my team but I came from a poor background and I’m just grateful to have had the opportunity to earn more than minimum wage. Yet even though I earn more than I ever thought possible for someone like me and where I grew up, I don’t think I can manage my money at all? My take home pay is 3,600. I am a single parent and also get 300 on top of this for maintenance. My rent is 900 and my little girl goes to nursery full time and that costs 1,400 a month. I claim the tax free part. I don’t have other outgoings expect 200 a month on a loan and usual utilities. Don’t have sky or Netflix etc.

I have gone through my cards to see what I’m spending and honestly it is just food, petrol, entry to soft play or a lunch here and there. I don’t buy clothes or make up or go on holiday. I was paid again yesterday and I had 2 pounds left before the money came in. I just don’t know where I am going wrong? I will never be able to afford a mortgage at the way this is going.

I do the weekly shop (including shampoo, washing powder, loo roll etc) for two adults. That often includes a bottle of wine or a case of beer. I have a fixed upper limit of £100 a week and I can usually get away with £80. You're a single parents and you're spending £170? What on earth are you buying? We eat well: lots of fresh seasonal fruit and veg. Batch cook at weekends. You can easily halve your food bill and probably eat better than ready meals. You're spending £80 a month on lunches out. Stop doing that. So that's at least £250 a month saved to start with.

Yeah it's the food bill that's insane. Get that under control and you should have £3-400 left over.

Do a proper meal plan and then start online food shopping so you are less tempted to grab things. Make bigger portions and freeze the leftovers so you have easy meals to hand on rushed days.

£80-100 a week should be easily manageable.

You have a good income so you should be able to save some. My advice fwiw is don't spend the bulk and then save what is left, do it the other way around. Save a chunk first and then budget the remainder for your spending. If you move some money to a different account as soon as you get paid you won't have it available and will be less likely to touch it.

Order food online rather than going to the shops. This helps avoid panic buying. I used to be terrible for popping to the supermarket for a loaf of bread and coming out with £30 of random stuff I didn't even need. Order online and avoid stepping foot in a shop if you can help it. Also, look in your cupboards. Try to use up as much food you already have before you buy any more. Ordering online means you can check what is in the cupboards as you order and avoid duplicating things you already have.

I haven't personally used it before, but have heard good things about Plum App (think lots of apps are available). It rounds up your purchases and moves the pennies across to saving account. So if you spend £1.25, it will round it up to £2 and put the 75p in your savings account. If you are buying something every day then these little bits of change will soon add up.

Look for alternatives to soft play. Are there any playgroups you could try instead? Many church groups are £2-3 to attend. Libraries have rhyme time and story time sessions you can attend for free. Can you take a thermos and go to a park/wood rather than soft play and lunch? Can you have people to your house for a sandwich rather than meeting out for a £20 lunch?

There is a great book called something like "How I loved for a year on a pound a day". It was written some time ago so I don't know if some of the things would still be possible, but there are some great ideas and tips. It is very readable (done like a diary, so fairly short entries/chapters). You could try adopting it for January to kickstart your savings.

On the lone parent forum there are often posts looking for houseshares with other single parents. Is that something you might consider to reduce your rent?

Good luck.

Nursery fees won’t be forever
the food shop is high just for the 2 of you and try not to just pop to the shop for odd bits I go In for one thing and spend a fortune so try and plan so you don’t run out of things

you work full time and are a single parent so could you go every other week for a meal with friends and take it in turns to go to each other’s houses for a meal or film there has to be some pleasures in life but that would cut that cost down a bit

Don't do lunch
Also as 2 people / adults, we spend way less than that at Tesco/ Morrison top up, and don't scrimp, so could save more really.
Maybe try delivery, as I find I spend less, as don't get tempted into buying extra.

I have looked at all my cards and it’s supermarket costs coming out high but I’m literally buying the basics, last week it shows 140 on Tesco and 30 in Morrison’s which includes everything like shampoo, cleaning products, food etc

Take a good hard look at what you are buying. We are 4 adults, eat well and spend less all in than you are spending on 'the basics' for one adult and a preschooler, who will also be getting some meals at nursery. That includes lunches for two of us and you aren't eating lunch.

It's the nursery fees that are killing your budget OP. Hopefully those will drop in the next couple years and free up more disposable income for you? Your wages are good but I completely understand that it's so difficult these days when everything is so expensive and there's always something new to pay for.

I'm sorry to hear your situation OP. So many people in their 30's and 40's at the moment simply can't get on the housing ladder through no fault of their own.

Those saying you need to cut down your lunches/ shopping bill are a little short-sighted. OK, so you could save £150-200 a month. That's about £2000-2500 a year. Yes it's a decent amount. It's not enough to get you a mortgage anytime soon, though.

You'd have to live this meagre existence for at least the next 10 years to save a deposit.

It's bloody miserable.

On the plus side, the nursery fees will stop before too long and then you will free up a big chunk to save.

3600 take home pay is a salary of about 65-70 grand gross a year. And someone on here suggested you should apply for universal credit 😂

It can be depressing. Nursery fees and the debt will stop. Eventually 😅

I took our monthly outings for everything (mortgage bills, utilities, food, petrol) if I assume half costs and inc 100% of childcare I’d be doing £4.1k. our mortgage is higher than your rent adjusting for that
I’d be at 3.9k.

we live “slightly better than average” despite our income supposedly putting us in the top 10% but... I’m pretty thrifty. Coffee is a rare treat, lunch out maybe once a month?

so you aren’t doing anything wildly “wrong”

maybe some tweaks.

Food
We spend about £120 - 140 for 2 adults a toddler and a dog.
as others said check out food budget there are gains to be made there. We do combo of Aldi and online I find this the best.
Meal planning helps.

your lunches out if you can aim for £10-15 caps on those.

your child
in terms of activities I do soft play maybe once every 3 months. Generally it’s free stuff…I have a great puddlesuit for dd, a reusable coffee cup and an encyclopaedic knowledge of local playgrounds… for summer it’s splashparks.
we basically only do paid stuff for Easter, Halloween and xmas and then I am still quite fussy/cheap 🙈

almost all DDs clothes are 2nd hand I do bundles on what’s app groups and vinted.
i resell individually anything i dislike.
then once worn I also resell everything I can before offer to friends for free /donate so that funds the next lot. I put in about £50 max for the years clothes (this is usually shoes)

Stop doing lunches then and go Aldi for your food shop. Try to do one big shop for say £80 and then milk/bread etc £20 a week. Have a set budget for petrol and outings.
Plus there will be things like Xmas . December is typically a expensive month.

Have you checked if you are entitled to universal credit? Are you getting child benefit ? that's another £85 a month. Do you pay single occupancy council tax?

Are you ok with computers? Id set a spreadsheet up write down what goes out and keep track.

You are on a good wage but you are also a single parent with high nursery fees. If your ex still lived with you and earned similar you would have more spare cash.

When you get the 30 free hours (at 2 or 3?) you will be better off for it.

Those saying you need to cut down your lunches/ shopping bill are a little short-sighted. OK, so you could save £150-200 a month. That's about £2000-2500 a year. Yes it's a decent amount. It's not enough to get you a mortgage anytime soon, though.

So are you suggesting OP just continues spending as she is? Yes, there is no quick fix to getting on the property ladder, realistically OP unlikely to be able to afford to buy until she stops paying nursery fees. Still, it's not short sighted to encourage her to look at what seems like a ridiculously high supermarket spend for one adult who says she skips lunch and a pre-schooler who will have some meals at nursery. £2500 a year is a healthy contribution to a deposit.

Being a single parent is a hell of a lot more difficult than being in a partnership; there is literally no-one else to cook when you're sick, or anyone to care for the child when they're sick, or any number of supports that so many people take for granted.

It's v easy for people in partnerships to talk loftily of saving money by never eating out but if the OP never went out she'd never get to chat with another adult. I don't think £20 a week on an occasion that brings companionship and a break from drudgery is a waste, I'd see that as self care. Enjoy it.

The opportunities for reducing spending are probably in places like finding new providers for insurance, WiFi, phone etc

How long will it take you to pay off the loan?

I recommend opening separate accounts for each expense e.g. power, insurances, WiFi & phone, car (include all costs across the year), loan, Christmas & birthdays, and open a savings one too. My bank let's me do this at no cost.

On payday, I pay into each account accordingly. I also have the direct debits coming from the individual accounts so they sorta tick away on their own. For example, with my car costs, I only need to pay service every 6 months but the money is always there, it's never an unexpected cost. Even haircuts, shoes etc need to be accounted for. Stick £50 into the savings account and forget about it.

With regards to food shopping, could you try shopping online instead? In that way, it's easier to stick to your list. Perhaps settle on 3 regular meals that you'll eat each week and always keep the ingredients on hand. On the weekend, make twice as much as you'd eat and freeze half for a week night.

Try making one change a week, perhaps, so you don't feel overwhelmed. In about 3 months, you should notice that things are more manageable.

@HewasH2O its lot more than 47k gross. 60k gross if no student loan or pension, above 70k If there is loan and pension coming off. I know as recently went up from 47k to around that and was surprised by take home went up less than Half of gross

OP it does sound loads on paper but two lot lower salaries combined with less tax could have 4-5k combined which would make all the difference as only food and eating out is more as a couple the other costs would be the same. Also the cost of living crisis is a a real killer for everyone but we are lucky it’s mainly affecting luxuries rather than essentials. Budget a bit better in the shop and hang in there till nursery finished, as apps say that will be 1k more per month.

and yes another one laughing at the cluelessness of those suggesting universal credit. The OP won’t even be eligible for child benefit

As others have said you need to get a handle on your expenditure and start a proper budget. You need to include every thing such as car tax, MOT, ar servicing, car insurance, house insurance, utilities, insurance, council tax, Christmas, birthdays, a budget for social activities , clothes, haircuts, dentistry etc. Work out the annual total and divide by 12 and this sum goes aside each month to be added to rent, childcare and loan and then you can see where you are at and then work out a sensible food budget. .There are spreadsheets available online to use.

Personally I wouldn’t go to Aldi and shops online with a weekly delivery after planning out your food for the week making sure you have covered 3 meals a day for you both.

If you can get a handle on spending now then when childcare reduces you will have money available to save in the future.

Nursery years are hard. I remember virtually having no savings for several years. The nursery fees just wiped them out.

How old is your DC? Are you still buying nappies/ baby milk?

Meal planning and dot-com shopping is the way forward

I was thinking that 🤔

@Needsomesupport84 @Motnight

If you're referring to me then I provided the breakdown that proves it's possible to receive UC on a high salary.

UC? With an income of 4k a month? 😂😂😂😂

I really hope my tax pennies aren't being dished out to people taking home practically double what I am. Jesus christ.

She should well be able to live off that.

okay interesting because I remember searching and being entitled to no help with childcare costs when single and earning 30- something thousand and genuinely struggling.

@threelittlescones

I did a search again and, no, someone of OP’s salary is not entitled to claim UC. Unsurprisingly. She is a higher rate tax payer ffs. Why would someone earning well over 60k per annum, more than three times minimum wage be entitled to claim benefits? Millions live on so so much less even when both parents are in work.

Pretty relieved here to hear that the previous poster was incorrect regarding UC!

Childcare does not magically stop once at school. Three months a year they are off school and then there are school clubs term times until secondary years!'re

Though it will cost less than now it will still be a monthly outlay.

Yeah. Not too keen on my tax payments propping up the affluent middle classes. My sister and her husband are both on around 30k, their combined income is less than the OP’s. They have checked and are entitled to nothing beyond child benefit. As if the government just doles out hundreds a month to anyone who wants it even if they take home nearly 4 k a month 😂

3900 income
-1400 childcare
-900 rent
-200 loan and utilities
-??? council tax
-??? phone/broadband/subscriptions/tv licence
-??? insurance
-??? transport or car payments/car tax/MOT/petrol?

Those are my basics.

£150 a week supermarket shop seems very high. I feed us well (me and a teen ds who eats endlessly) on about £60 a week, including shampoo & cleaning stuff.