to think this should be more than enough to live of?

[Jennyscarkey]

I am feeling really shit at the moment. I never seem to have any money and I work long hours and thought I had a decent income. I’m one of the lowest paid in my team but I came from a poor background and I’m just grateful to have had the opportunity to earn more than minimum wage. Yet even though I earn more than I ever thought possible for someone like me and where I grew up, I don’t think I can manage my money at all? My take home pay is 3,600. I am a single parent and also get 300 on top of this for maintenance. My rent is 900 and my little girl goes to nursery full time and that costs 1,400 a month. I claim the tax free part. I don’t have other outgoings expect 200 a month on a loan and usual utilities. Don’t have sky or Netflix etc.

I have gone through my cards to see what I’m spending and honestly it is just food, petrol, entry to soft play or a lunch here and there. I don’t buy clothes or make up or go on holiday. I was paid again yesterday and I had 2 pounds left before the money came in. I just don’t know where I am going wrong? I will never be able to afford a mortgage at the way this is going.

Net paying £3600 gives a gross salary of £47,000. That's double NMW. Are you claiming child benefit? When do you start receiving free childcare hours?

Nursery is a killer. I remember it well but thankfully it's relatively short term and then you will have more spare £££'s after you've paid for wraparound club of course. But even so, it definitely gets better. Hang in there.

@FaiIureToLunch if I stopped lunches that would be a saving of a around 100 a month. God it feels grim! Thought I would be free to do whatever when I got promoted and I just feel like I’m only just staying afloat

Also try Lidl or Aldi instead of Tesco and Morrisons and watch your money go further.

Yes food costs are crap. I only buy stuff in club card/reduced in tescos, use Aldi where possible especially for cleaning and tinned stuff and I buy frozen veg all the time, even sliced carrots etc saves cash. And tastes fine. No waste. We only drink tea and coffee - honestly ping up a receipt and we’d be able to tell you how to get that down.

you can also download an app called jam donut that gives you cash back on groceries. We use that too. Price runner for all extraordinary purchases. It’s doable, you just have to be savvy as fuck.

So income 3900. Rent 900. Nursery 1400. Loan 200. That leaves 1400 a month. How much are your bills a month? Council tax, gas & electric, internet, phone, water..
How much do you use for petrol a month? Tax, insurance?
It will settle down when you don't have nursery fees to think about.

Frugal Friends Facing Forward with Fortitude http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/costoff_living/4957140-frugal-friends-facing-forward-with-fortitude

Join us over here, you've got great advice so far on this thread though.

I'm not in UK so can't relate fully to how childcare etc works but your food & soft play etc here and there sounds excessive. You have a goal, to buy a house - now you need to get your financial house in order to achieve it.

Is renting elsewhere an option? How long more for childcare? Is there a cheaper alternative available?
Record every single spend in a notebook or on a spreadsheet even in the notes in your phone. At end of month separate then out into essential or non essential, added value to your life or didn't etc. this might show you where you can save money. Do you budget for car expenses? Heating seems expensive are there other alternatives? I do not mean be cold.

Childcare. 1400
Rent. 900
Loan. 200
Utilities. 400ish
Food. 400ish
Transport. ??? at least 200

That's £3500 without treats
Just shows how expensive life is.
Most families need 2 incomes unless you get housing benefit and free childcare.

How many people are you buying food for for your weekly shop? Your shopping bill seems really high for a week if it's just you and a nursery aged child.
For context, we spend £100 per week for 2 adults and an 18 month old. My DP is 6ft6 and trains strongman so eats a lot. I cook 6/7 days homecooked food, 1 day is usually pizzas from the supermarket or something similar. Do you write a shopping list/plan meals?

Yes but although our income is decent, we would still be reluctant to chuck away money on lunches.

I know we sound like a pair of tight arses. But we’ve both been in tough places financially, I remember having to go to the bookies to
make enough cash for food in my 20s…. Entirely through poor management. That sort of experience really sorts you out.

I absolutely hate the way food prices have gone through the roof and see it like gaming the system. We eat very well and plenty meat etc, I just plan and spend accordingly.

The other thing is utility expenditure but I’m sure you’re on the case with that already. You can do this! It’s a fucking nightmare I know.

Yes I was wondering how the hell she's struggling when I'm on about half that but then I realised I have very low accomodation costs and no nursery fees, it's the nursery fees for sure. How much longer before they reduce/ end op?

Is part of the issue you’re spending 170 odd a week in the supermarket? That’s seems an awful lot for one small child and an adult? That’s 25 quid a day, what are you buying?

Hang in there OP and be kind to yourself. Nursery costs won't be forever. Your time will come

I don't understand how you're spending that much each week on food.

If you know you're getting to the end of the month with only £2 in the bank, why would you still spend £20 per week eating out?

You need to write out a proper budget vs actual spending so you're accountable to yourself for what you're really spending.

Where do you buy your food from? Is it only for yourself and 1 child? £140/£170 is a lot for 1 adult and 1 child, is that your weekly cost?
I spend under £100 in Tescos for 2 adults and 2 preteens plus a cat and dog. Are you buying a lot of branded items?

I think you need to do a proper budget.

It is amazing how much all your Direct debits add up to when you tot them up.

Council tax, utilities, broadband, mobile phone, insurances ( car, contents, life) aa membership, road tax (or whatever it’s called nowadays) subscriptions for streaming services. Car loan. It adds up to nearly £1k a month for me.

as others have said, you need to write down all your expenses and see where the costs are. I’ve been WFH today and had a few errands to run. I worked out by the time I’d been to Sainsburys for a top up shop and got some chocs and biscuits for nursery, a new wiper blade and de-icer at Halfords, got petrol and been to the post office I’d spent nearly £100 without even thinking. This isn’t a stealth boast at all but just showing how it so easily done and how the money soon adds up.

You'll get there. Asking the question of how you can save is the first step towards saving.

As others have said, once your childcare costs reduce and you've paid off the loan you'll be in a much better position to save.

Until then save whatever you do have left at the end of the month. To increase the amount you have left could you see if you can save 10% on each discretionary spend? So rather than cancel lunch out see if you can get it to cost £18 instead of £20? If you could do that across everything it could save you a bit over £100 per month, without it being too much of an impact on your life. And if you try and do this across your all your outgoings you might find some things you aren't really bothered about and can stop buying. Then suddenly, one day, you'll realise all the pennies add up and you do have enough for a deposit.

@Hunkydory99 this is definitely what happens to me. I always find myself in a shop and then just pick things up! It’s always stuff that’s needed so maybe extra milk or orange juice etc but I find that I cannot go through a day without spending a minimum of ten quid. Things are hard on my own with DD and I often buy things in a rush and I suppose I just spend because it’s easier than having to think it all through

@ConfusedBear thanks that is really helpful advice

I’d also say that you should be kind to yourself. Being a single parent with a full time job isn’t easy. It’s exhausting. When you are trying to cut costs please remember to put a value on your time. There isn’t much point to saving £10 a week if it takes an extra 2 hours as then you get more exhausted and end up splashing out on takeaway/ cafe lunch.

I spend £110 a week for four adult portions every meal, so I can't imagine what you are eating on £170 a week for one adult and a small child.
Just do a speaksheet with categories and click what you buy. It's not difficult. Or get an app. NatWest app do it for you so I know exactly where my money is going in every category every month.

Are you starting off each month in overdraft as well?

Nursery 1400, loan 200, rent 900
I make that 2500.

From 3900 leaves her 1400 per month.