To think we can avoid the need for full time paid childcare for a while?

[hopingforbabyy]

We’re trying at the moment but just pondering our options, as I will need to return to work after 9-12 months maternity leave and people are having to put their name on waiting lists as soon as they get a BFP around here. I have worked in nurseries before and would not want to leave a young baby there, in my personal opinion.

DM is available and willing to help us out on Mondays and Tuesdays, I am hoping I can condense 5 days into 4 and have Wednesdays off, and DH can hopefully put in a flexible working request to not be rota to work Thursday or Friday.

It would leave one day not covered. We do have other family who might be willing to help such as MIL but they haven’t explicitly offered and live a bit further away for it to be practical.

DH shifts are on a rolling pattern and I’d say he would maybe do two Fridays in any normal month anyway, one of which would be a night. If he put in flexible working request to have Thurs off then even if he was working Friday night, he’d be fine to have DC until I finished work at 4pm as his work is really close by

On the one or two times a month that it is a day shift, I could book annual leave or ask another family member. I usually work from home Fridays anyway and my job is flexible so I could just book half a day of annual leave if it needed to be

As I say, I have worked with young children - I understand they need your full undivided attention and would never give them anything less than this.

AIBU to think we could get away with not having to use nurseries or a childminder until they’re a bit older in these circumstances?

Find out now re the possibility of getting both your changes in work shift agreed. Accept your mum may change her
mind. Make sure you have a back up in case. And I hope it goes well!

It s always useful to use paid childcare eg 2 days per week as you then have back up who knows your child when dm goes on holiday or gets sick
And helping out , is dm open to full on full day as you doing compressed hours so what, 8 to 7 pm ?
Family members = good for back up. But if you use as regular childcare, hmmmm

I worked evenings until my youngest was 3YO while their dad worked days. Surely something like that would be easier than relying on so many different variables.

I'd try to save to have the full twelve months off. Then plan on putting the baby in Nursery one day a week. Taking all of your annual leave up via childcare could leave you both burnt out. It would also be nice to see each other occasionally.

So many around here say minimum of 2 days. Maybe a childminder would be an option though

I found grandparent care unreliable- illness, holiday, an event to go to, a bit tired, didn’t want to catch the baby’s cold. And I was only using a grandparent one day a week. You can’t really complain when it’s free, but I don’t think the grandparent understood how it impacted on my work.

On top of this your baby picks up every bug known to mankind, but you’ll have run out if backup options if you’re already using all the possible family care and annual leave and shift juggling.

If you’re not happy with nursery then in your position I’d have a couple of days a week childminder and then family/ juggle the rest.

Sounds great in practice, I’m absolutely certain something will go wrong. Agree with PP - pay for childcare, grandparents can’t (and shouldn’t) be relied upon on an ongoing basis.

I think only putting a baby in childcare 1 day a week would be very difficult for the baby, especially if they are being passed around the other days. One day a week really isn’t enough time to settle / get used to the nursery. 2 half days would be far preferable x

I wouldn't want to rely on family members for full time childcare personally so I'd put baby's name down for at least 2 days per week. If not nursery then childminder, though I wouldn't completely rule nurseries out either.

Just be prepared for the fact that family members may change their minds when the time comes, flexible working may be denied etc and prepare just in case.

Most will because baby will struggle to settle with only 1 day a week.

Your arrangement sounds a bit precarious and be prepared for family or friends to not be very reliable, to get poorly, to go on holiday or to get bored with it all and not want to do it.

nurseries very rarely close. Childminders also often have plans in place for if they are unwell and plan holidays in advance.

I’d say use some paid childcare for two days a week and juggle the other two. The only problem with that is they may get settled in a setting and then if you want to add on further days, they can’t accommodate them.

Speaking from experience, the Fridays when partner is expected to have bub during the day, then work a night shift is likely to be a problem. It leaves no time for him to sleep, and that's likely to have a knock on effect on the Saturday. What's your back up plan for if dm is unwell, or not available one week?. Realistically one or two days professional childcare would be more sensible.

I had offer of full-time family support but chose to put DC into nursery for 2 half days a week, which proved invaluable when parents went on holiday/ had appointments/ were sick as we could choose whether to go for extra days in nursery or annual leave. It would have caused resentment if we felt they were frequently letting us down. It also got DC used to a different environment and routine which was really good for them.

Compressed hours for 4 days may be tough if it means that you don’t see your child at the beginning or end of the day.

Sounds stressful. Family members will get sick or have things they need or want to do. You may not get the leave you need. Partners shifts could be changed at short notice. You need reliable childcare.

I'd get two days with a childminder and so flexible working so you each have one day off. Then is ask grandparents parents for one to two days a week support. That way if dc is ill and can't go to a childminders then you can ask for extra from grandparents or if the grand parents go on holiday you can take leave or ask childminder if they can do extra (some can if a regular child is away for example).
It sounds stressful as others have said to be managing on so much goodwill

Could you use your annual leave that has accrued throughout your maternity to cover the Fridays you’d need childcare? I did something similar. I did have to prove to my line manager I could use it within the year as we have a no carry over rule but it worked for us. They’re now in nursery but gave us that extra wiggle room for over 6 months and saved us some cash
I would however consider some formal childcare even if it’s part time - means you can have some structure and only use family part of the week which is good if they have appointments or plans as they know there are set days you don’t need them but it’s also beneficial for child to build relationships outside the family unit.

Could you leave your current role and get an evening and weekend job? I was a SAHM in the main, but I had a one evening a week and one weekend day a week job for about a year when we were hoping to move house and needed a bit more cash. Husband came in the door and I went straight out.

What about occasions when either your mother or husband is ill? From a HR perspective, I come across regular issues with employees having to take frequent unpaid time off because the family member who was supposed to be caring for their child is ill/on holiday/let them down etc. What if another colleague has already booked leave on the day that you need to take off and your request is refused?

You may also struggle to work from home on a Friday if DH is also home with the baby? What if things change partway through the year and his Thursday/Friday can't be accommodated anymore, or he has to cover annual leave/sickness on these days?

The hodgepodge of childcare that you have described sounds like a recipe for stress to me, I would recommend putting the child in nursery at least a couple of days per week to give yourself some wriggle room.

Just put your name on a waiting list (when pregnant!) and see what happens nearer the time. Worth a deposit for peace of mind imo

I don't think your DH could do a full day of childcare and then a night shift, when would he sleep?

Four days fully compressed is hard, I would consider compressing 4.5 days into 4 instead

How confident are you that your mum would be reliable? And is she fully fit enough to run around after a toddler?

Unless you really can't afford it, I would use some paid childcare

The night before. This is what he usually does anyway, he wakes up at a normal time the day of, has a normal day off then goes to work in the evening. Comes back in the morning and goes to bed.

Yeah she’s not yet 60.

Your plan sounds a stressful, having to look around for someone to have your baby for a whole day is not going to be easy.
How about looking for a childminder for two or three days pee week?

Have you visited any childminders if not you may be surprised

Well you have to cover your days, and it sounds like there’s a day you can’t cover so use a childminder rather than a nursery. They’ll get plenty of attention.

Do you think having ad hoc people mind your baby would be better for him/her than going to a regular childcare setting?