To think we can avoid the need for full time paid childcare for a while?

[hopingforbabyy]

We’re trying at the moment but just pondering our options, as I will need to return to work after 9-12 months maternity leave and people are having to put their name on waiting lists as soon as they get a BFP around here. I have worked in nurseries before and would not want to leave a young baby there, in my personal opinion.

DM is available and willing to help us out on Mondays and Tuesdays, I am hoping I can condense 5 days into 4 and have Wednesdays off, and DH can hopefully put in a flexible working request to not be rota to work Thursday or Friday.

It would leave one day not covered. We do have other family who might be willing to help such as MIL but they haven’t explicitly offered and live a bit further away for it to be practical.

DH shifts are on a rolling pattern and I’d say he would maybe do two Fridays in any normal month anyway, one of which would be a night. If he put in flexible working request to have Thurs off then even if he was working Friday night, he’d be fine to have DC until I finished work at 4pm as his work is really close by

On the one or two times a month that it is a day shift, I could book annual leave or ask another family member. I usually work from home Fridays anyway and my job is flexible so I could just book half a day of annual leave if it needed to be

As I say, I have worked with young children - I understand they need your full undivided attention and would never give them anything less than this.

AIBU to think we could get away with not having to use nurseries or a childminder until they’re a bit older in these circumstances?

Not all nurseries are created equally. I’m friends with a nursery worker in the nursery that both my boys went to and it’s one of the best nurseries in my area. She puts her son in the nursery and said that when she’s visited other nurseries in the area she’s felt like it’s almost unsafe compared to what she’s used to. Also they are very strict with cleanliness, nappy changing schedules, have freshly cooked food with an on-site chef who both my kids adore. They even do open days where they cook the nursery food and offer them to parents and it’s definately made with low salt/sugar etc and the kids eat it. Ours charge a fortune but 100% worth it.

YABVU.
Once you get pregnant you should start looking for a childminder.
If your employers agree to flexible working so you can each do 1 day of childcare a week, you could then ask your mum to do 1 day and only use the childminder 2 days a week.
Personally I think it's best for your mum to do just 1 day a week as a regular arrangement but you may also be able to ask her to do extra days for example if baby is too unwell for the childminders, if childminder is unwell or off for another reason, etc.

Some parents seem to think a child who is only sick once or has a temperature that is controlled by Calpol is not ill. Children carry bugs some are sick once but the bug is still in the body for 48 hours being spread by every mouthed toy and sneeze, same with what causes a temperature....teething doesn't cause fever. They also seem to think I'll children lay down quietly and do not play....they need to visit a hospital children's ward

I'd save salary so you can take two years off, then look for another job. I didn't want to leave my young baby either, but around 18 months is fine l, and you can also do it gradually.

My dd went to nursery for a day and a half per fortnight. The nursery agreed on the basis that if she didn't settle I would put her in the 2 days per week or remove her. My mum then collected her a lunchtime on her half day and had a nice grandma/grandchild afternoon once a fortnight. When I needed extra days the nursery were very good at letting me book adhoc if they had space.

They also had a huge outdoor space with chickens, a mud kitchen, ride on toys and playhouses.

Dd loved it there and settled straight away. She started at 13mo but had good language skills early on and had a good understanding. I would look at visiting some nurseries and discussing some options.

I worked evenings and weekends and dh worked school hours so we made it work but the nursery allowed us some time to catch up with the house and occasional date days during annual leave.