Friend didn't get me anything I wanted for Christmas-aibu to be a bit annoyed?

[sinkorahink]

Well not annoyed but I bit meh
Anyway me and good friend decided this year instead of buying each other random stuff we might not like -to buy each other things that we wanted.
We set a £50 budget
She sent over the things she wanted (a purse ,hat and glove set)
I sent her the two things I wanted (also a purse and some ear rings )
I bought her the exact things she wanted
We met today and did the gift opening
Before I opened mine she said -
"I didn't get you the things you asked for,I found these and thought you would like them"

It was a jewellery organiser and a stationary set.

Aibu to be a bit meh about it?

Yeah well generally buying gifts for other adults at Xmas time is a bit daft but if you want to do that then fair enough.

DH has been having a rough year and then began his usual build up to birthdays and Christmas saying "I've no idea what you want". So I compiled a list of half a dozen things that would be nice, assuming that he might pick a couple which would be grand. That was just after his birthday at the beginning of November, working on basis that my birthday is early December and what he didn't get for that he might get for Christmas.

I left the list on the dining room table - we eat breakfast there every morning and dinners maybe half the week.

Had a nice birthday, he bought me a couple of little presents which was lovely but nothing on my list. No problem.

3rd week of December he picked up the list and asked "what's this?" I just said "oh some ideas for gifts in case you couldn't think of anything, not a big deal". I got his standard line which he has used the last couple of decades "oh I didn't think we were doing anything, I haven't thought about it much." Which is always a lie.

So morning of 25th there is a stocking with the usual orange and some lindors in it, another box of chocolates and a plastic bag. In the bag was a book I'd never heard of. Fortunately for him it was a great present as completely unexpected. Don't know when he got it but he did say he'd had to special order it for me.

He didn't get anything for me that was on my list.

Yeah well generally buying gifts for other adults at Xmas time is a bit daft but if you want to do that then fair enough

Since when? I've never heard such nonsense. Adults buy each other gifts - shocker 🙄

Exactly why is buying gifts for other adults at Christmas time so strange? Or are you one of those people who think Christmas is only for children? I would hate to live in a world where buying gifts for someone you care about is deemed "a bit daft". As it is something which has been done for a very long time I suspect you are in the minority.

As for OP and her friend - my friend and I know each other very well and know what each other likes. We've never had a budget or a list, and somehow seem to manage to get it right.

I agree @AlwaysGinPlease

im actually surprised at the amount of posters saying adults buying each other gifts is “daft” “pointless “ etc!

Once your dc are over 21 are we all supposed to cancel presents entirely? Sorry son now you’re an adult you can buy yourself a present. And don’t bother buying me anything.

And god forbid you ask each other what you want! If it’s not a random surprise item - it’s meaningless?

Fine if that’s your stance but don’t pour scorn on adults wanting to “do” presents differently.

I prefer to call it a “reciprocal exchange” rather than transaction. But so what if it’s transactional? We’re all adults!

I think it’s daft to get too sentimental over material gifts and put such expectation on yourself and others to pick suitable tasteful gifts that mean something.

Its great fun to open a beautifully wrapped gift and receive something you’ve asked for in my view 😂

Exactly why is buying gifts for other adults at Christmas time so strange?

I think it is the spending so much on buying for someone else, with whom you don't have that closeness / history that you do with family.

If you are getting each other something for a tenner or less, and you get something you don't like / can't eat / won't use / etc then you can think "Oh well, never mind. It was kind of them to think of me. It doesn't matter".
But if you've just used £50 to buy them a gift, and they get you something you don't like / want or can't use, then it is harder to 'write off' like that.

Shd hv got wot u requested, you did for her

Makes me think you got a regift xxx

I think she regifted

Perhaps she genuinely couldny afford the things you wanted at the quality she knows you'd want. Maybe she's in the situation where she's regifting her own gifts to ensure you got a gift at all. Many reasons why, just before Christmas she perhaps couldnt find the money, or the time to buy what was on your list. She may just be a bit financially embarassedband knows you have bought her what you asked for.
I am with the others though, sending each other a list does feel a bit like circling things in the Argos catalogue for your parents. I agree with them, £50 each would get you both theatre tickets or a spa day or something you could do together. The gift of time is probably better.

Politely ask for the receipt. Its not rude. You could have this already

What's the point?