Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Think this school policy is ridiculous

771 replies

sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 11:50

Secondary school
DS15 has had his phone confiscated for the 3rd time this term.
Absolutely fine, he shouldn't have had it out so deserves the punishment
However, they won't give it back to him at 3.15. A parent has to go and collect it.
Tried to explain that 1, it means one of us leaving work, and 2, he needs it to access the gym straight after school, and 3, it his property but they won't budge. It stays with school until a parent can collect
In no way am I kicking off about the confiscation, but I'm fuming I'm also being punished as well!
Arghhhhh. Rant over.

OP posts:
Thinkbiglittleone · 20/12/2023 14:21

Start telling your son to stop taking his phone to school as he is inconveniencing the teachers by having to take time out of their day (3 times this termAngry) to reprimand him. Oh and that it's inconveniencing you as well so he needs to show some respect.

cardibach · 20/12/2023 14:22

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 20/12/2023 13:58

Sorry, what now?
From the start I have been stating that the phone should have been in a locker/bag, thus dramatically reducing the chance of it being used!
(Read back, because I have stated this several times).
The problem is that some schools create a problem themselves because they allow phones to be used some of the time in some of the classes....thus preventing the child from leaving it somewhere they are less tempted to touch it!

Show quote history

But the point is that it was in his bag, then he took it out. Against the rules. And used it. 3 times. Where the hell do you imagine it was before he was caught with it?

Cerealkiller4U · 20/12/2023 14:22

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 20/12/2023 14:11

I'm really not sure how you are getting that from my comments.
I have always said the phones should be out of reach (unless it's in one of the classes they are allowed to use them some of the time), it's the school taking and it and not returning it/making it difficult to get back that I have issue with.

Show quote history

I imagine though that the school not handing back the phone IS part of the policies. That you’ve agreed too by sending your child there….

cardibach · 20/12/2023 14:23

Homesweethome23 · 20/12/2023 13:58

Our school has the same policy, which I don’t agree with as many parents are unable to get there on the same day to collect and a large majority of children either walk or get the bus/train home so need their phone in an emergency. The chance of an emergency might be small but there is still a chance a child or parent may need to contact one another.
Luckily this hasn’t happened to mine…yet, but if or when it does and I get the call to let me know the school has his phone I will be making sure they give it straight back to him at the end of the day so he can travel home with it, they can give a detention instead.

It’s not luck though, is it?
it will happen to exactly zero pupils who follow the rules.

DinoRodney · 20/12/2023 14:24

Why? She doesn’t have to take time off, her son can do without a phone!

Tracker1234 · 20/12/2023 14:24

All this what if there was an emergency etc etc. Well son should follow the school policy and he would be fine. He clearly is being taught at home that he can do what he likes.

Anisette · 20/12/2023 14:25

NuffSaidSam · 20/12/2023 12:35

They HAVE been told that.

The OP's son declined to follow the rule of keeping it in his bag.

That's the whole point of the thread.

If you read the thread, your responses will make much more sense.

Show quote history

Presumably not given that they also use phones during lessons.

cardibach · 20/12/2023 14:25

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 20/12/2023 14:00

The phone should be returned to the bag and the bag set to a part of the room they cannot access (ideally the bags could be in this location to start with).
The child then takes the phone and bag when they leave the class and go home/to the next class, especially if it's a school which does expect/allow phones to be used in some classes some of the time.

Show quote history

It’s not practical in most classrooms to have a separate place for bags. Children would be up and down all the time for things they ‘forgot to take out’ anyway. Plus they would put the phone in their pocket/sleeve/waistband anyway. They are intent on breaking this rule. What about this don’t you get?

TeenDivided · 20/12/2023 14:27

People need to teach their children fallback strategies.

e.g.
They have parents phone number in their brain memory or written in their planner.
They ask to borrow a friend's phone at the end of the day.
They wait at/in school at a safe place until parent can collect them if they are unsafe to travel without a phone.
They have a travel buddy.

cardibach · 20/12/2023 14:27

Mojolostforever · 20/12/2023 14:04

The first time I've heard of any medical condition that requires a mobile phone.
What did people with this condition do before they were invented?

Show quote history

In fairness here, I have. Diabetes. And before this tech we had a lot more kids having hypo/hyperglycaemic events in schools. It’s brilliant tech.

Tracker1234 · 20/12/2023 14:27

This boy is intent on breaking the rules. Parent doesnt mind until SHE needs to do something.

Has OP spoken to son?

Catza · 20/12/2023 14:27

willWillSmithsmith · 20/12/2023 14:10

No, not picking it up in a hurry would be a far better consequence. Your method is condoning her son as well as no consequences for him.

Show quote history

No my method just lets the school know that they are not an institution for young offenders. They are an educational establishment and are out of order requesting parents to drop everything because of their ridiculous policies.
Did they provide lockers for kids? Did they clearly explain policies and consequences to children?
I once visited a school where children were not allowed to stay in corridors during breaks and had to go outside. They also weren't allowed their jackets. Would you fancy being outdoors in January without your coat?
I also know of schools where children are not allowed to use toilets. Have you ever come across a workplace with a similar policy?
If the kid is forced to walk home as no access to an electronic travel card or gets into a pickle and unable to contact emergency services, would the school accept responsibility? Hell they would.
Schools do not treat kids in a respectful way so there is no wonder they get the same treatment back.
No, I wouldn't be picking up the phone in a hurry either. But this doesn't mean the school is right in their demands and expectations.

SammyScrounge · 20/12/2023 14:28

Anele22 · 20/12/2023 14:19

Don’t be ridiculous - they’re not stealing it

Show quote history

There was a case in Glasgow where parents called the police to report a teacher for stealing their son' s phone. Police actually turned up at the teacher's home that evening!

Anisette · 20/12/2023 14:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MissJoGrant · 20/12/2023 14:28

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 13:45

"Also, if students are young and require access to their phone to be safe when returning home for the night, the school needs to provide them with an adequate alternative communication with their parents."

So if the student communicates with their parent between school and home on their mobile then the school needs to lend the student a phone to provide an alternative to the confiscated one?

Show quote history

"Young".

NanaTucker57 · 20/12/2023 14:30

Stop letting him take it to school. There's no reason he has to have it. Seriously no Gym is going to require him to have a phone to get into it to open the door...thats ridiculous. What if there were no phones in the world, he'd still have to go to gym class right? So stop with the bs & start parenting your kid...people need to quit buying their kids phones .....they don't need them unless they have a job, & are 18...or at least 16...& driving...

Starsun · 20/12/2023 14:31

Mojolostforever · 20/12/2023 14:04

The first time I've heard of any medical condition that requires a mobile phone.
What did people with this condition do before they were invented?

Show quote history

She has to use it to check her blood sugar near constantly as also has crohns so it can drop to dangerous levels her phone alarms to alert her and she also needs to check in case it’s rapidly dropping as she has no hypo awareness

cardibach · 20/12/2023 14:31

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 20/12/2023 14:08

Of course this isn't black and white but....

  • if he took it out once (and it wasn't needed for the lesson) then I'd ask him to put it away in his bag.
  • if he did it repeatedly then I'd ask him to remove the things he needed for this particular class from this bag so he could use them (if he didn't already have them on the desk), put the phone in his bag and put the bag at the back/side/area out of the way. He could collect bag and phone as we were clearing up, put his books etc in it and take everything to the next class. I definitely feel this is a better option (others have already told me how much they disagree!).
Show quote history

The thing is, multiple teachers probably did this before they lost the will to live and excepted to the first confiscation. Confiscating things is a pain in the ass. You have to find the time to do the paperwork on it and to take the phone to wherever the designated collection point is. I wouldn’t assume at all that 3 confiscations = only 3 times the phone was out inappropriately.

Starsun · 20/12/2023 14:31

*crohns as well as type 1 diabetes

Anisette · 20/12/2023 14:31

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 13:34

I do not care, I would be doing EVERYTHING in my power to make the head's life an absolute misery, and same for the police if they didn't take the theft seriously

Show quote history

What power do you imagine you have? If you start making the head's life a misery, you'll probably get yourself banned from the premises and put on an extremely limited communication setup, and if you make the police's lives a misery, they can return the favour several times over.

MissJoGrant · 20/12/2023 14:32

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 20/12/2023 13:56

You seriously think taking someone else's property and refusing to return it is ok?
It's not.

Show quote history

thinkstudent.co.uk/can-schools-confiscate-items-from-students/#:~:text=Schools%20can%20confiscate%20any%20item,search%2C%20with%20or%20without%20consent.

DinoRodney · 20/12/2023 14:33

Quote fail from me, my comment was referring to the poster who suggested invoicing the school.

Growlybear83 · 20/12/2023 14:34

I don't think that's unreasonable. The policy at my daughters school was that any phones which were confiscated were returned to the parent at the end of the half term. She was allowed to have a phone when she started secondary school because it was over an hour's journey from home each way and I wanted her to be able to contact me easily if she had a problem. Her phone was confiscated once, and after being without it for four weeks, she never got caught with it out in lessons again.

budgiegirl · 20/12/2023 14:34

The phone should be returned to the bag and the bag set to a part of the room they cannot access (ideally the bags could be in this location to start with).
The child then takes the phone and bag when they leave the class and go home/to the next class, especially if it's a school which does expect/allow phones to be used in some classes some of the time

But where is the consequence for breaking the rules? If all you do is take away access to the phone for the lesson duration, the child is no worse off? You've just returned the situation to the status quo. They've learnt nothing, and might as well try taking out their phone in the next lesson, as they are no worse off if they are spotted.

cardibach · 20/12/2023 14:34

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 14:08

What do you do when a child says that their parent insists that they phone at the start and middle of their walk home for safety reasons? What if the child is picked up from nearby the school at a time TBC and they arrange collection by phone an hour after school finishes (the kid goes to the local library for an hour before getting a lift home)?

Show quote history

I don’t think you’ve read this properly. They have to hand the phone in at the start of the day. Nobody following that basic rule will ever lose their phone so your imaginary scenarios won’t happen.