Page 14 | Think this school policy is ridiculous

sadbutdontknowwhy · 2023-12-20T11:50:25+00:00

Secondary school DS15 has had his phone confiscated for the 3rd time this term. Absolutely fine, he shouldn't have had it out so deserves the punishment However, they won't give it back to him at 3.15. A parent has to go and collect it. Tried to explain that 1, it means one of us leaving work, and 2, he needs it to access the gym straight after school, and 3, it his property but they won't budge. It stays with school until a parent can collect In no way am I kicking off about the confiscation, but I'm fuming I'm also being punished as well! Arghhhhh. Rant over.

CHRIS003 · 20/12/2023 13:59

sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 11:56

I haven't been inconvenienced 3 times, just once.
DS has had a really tough term behaviour wise, we think he possibly has ADHD but he doesn't want to be assessed. That's fine
We do give punishment when needed, he has consequences to his actions
Not sure how you managed to turn an issue with school policy into how I parent

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If he has possible adhd then perhaps staying off his phone in lessons would help his concentration ?

Maray1967 · 20/12/2023 13:59

NameChangeAgain23 · 20/12/2023 11:56

My kids school has same policy. I'm ok with it and tbh if it was 3rd time for my DD I wouldn't rush to pick it up...

Same here. If mine did this I definitely would not pick it up that very day. I’d make him sweat over exactly when I will be picking it up.

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 20/12/2023 14:00

EarthlyNightshade · 20/12/2023 13:58

But it wasn't!
Our school has a "phones should not be seen at any time" policy.
Doesn't stop the kids sneakily getting them out.
So imagine my DC is caught on his phone three times within a week. What should happen?

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The phone should be returned to the bag and the bag set to a part of the room they cannot access (ideally the bags could be in this location to start with).
The child then takes the phone and bag when they leave the class and go home/to the next class, especially if it's a school which does expect/allow phones to be used in some classes some of the time.

Cerealkiller4U · 20/12/2023 14:02

sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 12:02

Part of the reason he needs his phone, is we pay for a gym membership for him. It's all done on an app, from booking to attending. He goes 3 times a week and it has such a positive impact on him that I wouldn't want him to miss it

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Does he not realise he needs his phone for the gym?

I would imagine at 15 he does…..in which case he needs to learn to not use it surely?

Epidote · 20/12/2023 14:02

@sadbutdontknowwhy it was a figuratively way of speaking but you are right is Christmas. I forgot for ten minutes.
In that case I suppose you have to go and collect it. I wouldn't give it to him straight away. He need to learn to respect the learning time.
I think the school is making you to pick it to make sure you encourage your kid for not do it again.

I understand your frustration, but should be directed to your kid.

stomachameleon · 20/12/2023 14:02

@Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter we do it every day along with their vapes. They are removed at the door.

If they are caught with either than a parent or carer has to collect after school.

It's one of the rare strict rules we have. For safeguarding. We have LAC children, children in refuge's and bullying occurs. Letting children access their phones would be a recipe for disaster.

EarthlyNightshade · 20/12/2023 14:02

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 20/12/2023 14:00

The phone should be returned to the bag and the bag set to a part of the room they cannot access (ideally the bags could be in this location to start with).
The child then takes the phone and bag when they leave the class and go home/to the next class, especially if it's a school which does expect/allow phones to be used in some classes some of the time.

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My DS needs his bag in lessons, he has his pencil case and school books in it. He is not allowed to use his phone in lessons at all.

Are you saying that if he took his phone out, you would move his bag, and you would do that indefinitely in each class with no other escalation?

Cerealkiller4U · 20/12/2023 14:03

sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 12:08

You know nothing

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If we know nothing. Why on earth did you ask the question 😂😂

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 14:03

TeenDivided · 20/12/2023 13:54

Ok fine. Choose a school based on that policy.
And don't complain when school lessons are constantly being disrupted by classmates being on their phones.

Alternatively, teach your kids to follow the school rules and there won' be any issues.

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People "choose" schools that are close by and their kids can get to, and that are good schools not bad. No-one is able to choose schools based on phone confiscation policies, and if they have stupid policies then they need parents to stand up to them.

Mojolostforever · 20/12/2023 14:04

Starsun · 20/12/2023 12:03

DD’s school tried this. She needs her phone out regularly because she has a medical condition and it’s part of her care needs. She just refuses to hand it over - at first before staff were aware of her it happened a lot but I think they had a meeting so they knew to stop.

Every so often a new member of staff tries the same she just explain then refuses (they always say it’s zero tolerance no exceptions) , walks away and then lets her HOY know

The first time I've heard of any medical condition that requires a mobile phone.
What did people with this condition do before they were invented?

NuffSaidSam · 20/12/2023 14:05

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 20/12/2023 13:58

Sorry, what now?
From the start I have been stating that the phone should have been in a locker/bag, thus dramatically reducing the chance of it being used!
(Read back, because I have stated this several times).
The problem is that some schools create a problem themselves because they allow phones to be used some of the time in some of the classes....thus preventing the child from leaving it somewhere they are less tempted to touch it!

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Yeah I know!

And we've all been telling you that's what the rule at his school is 😂😂

You agree with the school.

You think the rule should be phones in bags/lockers.

The rule is phones should be in bags/lockers.

You and the school are on exactly the same page 😂

Slight concern for your reading comprehension that it's taken this long, but fair play you got there in the end.

So, what would your policy for punishment be? I know you disagree with the school on that one, but this boy has broken YOUR rule. The rule YOU wanted. He didn't keep his phone in his bag or locker like YOU think he should. Oh dear. What now?

Tacotortoise · 20/12/2023 14:05

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 14:03

People "choose" schools that are close by and their kids can get to, and that are good schools not bad. No-one is able to choose schools based on phone confiscation policies, and if they have stupid policies then they need parents to stand up to them.

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Oh I don't know, most places have at least one school with terribly low standards of behaviour and plenty of spaces. They're just not really that popular for some reason.

CormorantStrikesBack · 20/12/2023 14:06

Mojolostforever · 20/12/2023 14:04

The first time I've heard of any medical condition that requires a mobile phone.
What did people with this condition do before they were invented?

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Quite a lot of people with diabetes need their phone to scan their pump if they have a pump. Obviously before pumps and apps were a thing they’d have to inject with insulin but times change.

BaconMassive · 20/12/2023 14:06

It's good to learn about consequences to actions.

Was the policy not explained in advance? That's the only thing you could have to argue about.

If your child didn't know what the consequence was then I guess that is some sort of defence.

Nanny0gg · 20/12/2023 14:07

MissJoGrant · 20/12/2023 13:51

They absolutely can refuse. I'm not sure why you believe that.

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What if it is actually impossible for a parent to get to a school when it is open without taking time off from their job (which may not be allowed)?

ManagedMove · 20/12/2023 14:07

One of my children's schools have this policy, my child knows I won't pick it up till it's convinient for me, last time it took me over a week. It's annoying but the ppl are right, it's supposed to be.

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 20/12/2023 14:08

EarthlyNightshade · 20/12/2023 14:02

My DS needs his bag in lessons, he has his pencil case and school books in it. He is not allowed to use his phone in lessons at all.

Are you saying that if he took his phone out, you would move his bag, and you would do that indefinitely in each class with no other escalation?

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Of course this isn't black and white but....

if he took it out once (and it wasn't needed for the lesson) then I'd ask him to put it away in his bag.
if he did it repeatedly then I'd ask him to remove the things he needed for this particular class from this bag so he could use them (if he didn't already have them on the desk), put the phone in his bag and put the bag at the back/side/area out of the way. He could collect bag and phone as we were clearing up, put his books etc in it and take everything to the next class. I definitely feel this is a better option (others have already told me how much they disagree!).

Nanny0gg · 20/12/2023 14:08

Tacotortoise · 20/12/2023 14:05

Oh I don't know, most places have at least one school with terribly low standards of behaviour and plenty of spaces. They're just not really that popular for some reason.

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And sometimes you still have to send your kids there...🙁

Maxus · 20/12/2023 14:08

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 14:03

People "choose" schools that are close by and their kids can get to, and that are good schools not bad. No-one is able to choose schools based on phone confiscation policies, and if they have stupid policies then they need parents to stand up to them.

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It's not a stupid policy. If a child has been warned twice and know the next time the parents will be called to pick up the phone then that's the child's problem. Surely the child would understand that this is the policy. If they don't want the the phone confiscated then don't use it in class, it's not hard.

BombaySamphire · 20/12/2023 14:08

God, just sort your kids out @AnonnyMouseDave
Have you any idea how you come across? Your kids are likely the same…

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 14:08

stomachameleon · 20/12/2023 14:02

@Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter we do it every day along with their vapes. They are removed at the door.

If they are caught with either than a parent or carer has to collect after school.

It's one of the rare strict rules we have. For safeguarding. We have LAC children, children in refuge's and bullying occurs. Letting children access their phones would be a recipe for disaster.

What do you do when a child says that their parent insists that they phone at the start and middle of their walk home for safety reasons? What if the child is picked up from nearby the school at a time TBC and they arrange collection by phone an hour after school finishes (the kid goes to the local library for an hour before getting a lift home)?

Cerealkiller4U · 20/12/2023 14:08

@Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter the issue is you agree to the schools policies and terms and conditions as it is. So to then say you don’t…..

there are policies that you can access online and it shows you what your school can/can’t do.

for example hair styles is usually a big one. But you’ve always signed into it.

LondonJax · 20/12/2023 14:08

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 20/12/2023 13:30

OK, it's not theirs to confiscate then.
The policy should be that phones are left in lockers, if they have them, or in bags under the desk, during class time.
Taking/confiscating/stealing something that isn't yours is not acceptable.

Also, this has been raised already but worth saying again - some schools expect children to have a phone use in some subjects (eg they play kahoot games as a class or they look up info etc) but also penalise them for glancing at said phone. It is a mixed message.

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Our policy is that phones are switched off in pockets on in bags under the desk during the school day.

So in line with what you've said.

I've had kids taking their phone out in the corridor to text their friends to say where they are. All phones should be switched off and in pockets or in bags.

Or call their mum (in front of me or a colleague - the lack of respect is ridiculous) to ask if they can go to a particular club or out with a friend (we have a rule that they can call parents from the school office and they can use their phones after school finishes). All phones should be switched off and in pockets or in bags.

Or check their timetable (which is on their laptop or which a member of staff can print out for them at any time and, at this time of year, I'll guarantee most kids know where they are going. I ask kids regularly, just out of politeness, what's your next lesson. Not one has ever had to check their phone by this time as they've had the same timetable for 12 weeks plus). All phone should be switched off and in pockets or bags.

Sorry for the repeat of the policy. That's the reality. The kids (and their parents) know the policy. They just don't seem to think it applies to them (or their kids). It does. It applies to everyone including me. It only doesn't apply if there is a medical need - like an app that monitors something for the child. In which case they have a note on the PC for the teachers and the nurse issues a card to show if they are told to put the phone away. But still the kids get their phones out. A policy is useless unless it has sanctions or consequences.

I can't have my phone out during school time. As a mother I manage to obey it and my need could be said to be greater than a kid's as I have a child so could get a call from their school. If I can cope, the kids can cope.

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 20/12/2023 14:09

Tacotortoise · 20/12/2023 14:05

Oh I don't know, most places have at least one school with terribly low standards of behaviour and plenty of spaces. They're just not really that popular for some reason.

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Two high schools where we live, the others would involve a long boat journey either side.
(I realise we're not typical.....)

Tacotortoise · 20/12/2023 14:09

@Nanny0gg I expect their kids are really fucking careful not to get their phones confiscated in the first place. But our school will return unclaimed phones to kids at the end of the school year.