Page 7 | To think they are all cheeky bastards

Original poster

Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 14:22

I get that I haven’t been clear but they are still cheeky to not say thank you.

OP posts:

sweetpickle23 · 18/12/2023 14:22

Clearly things are different and not usually paid for by the company in NHS.

However how did this event come about? Whose idea was it? If it was yours then I think you should have made it clearer the intent was for attendees to pay their way.

Even if the company weren't paying, lots of managers (in both public and private sector) would buy their team a gift for Xmas, so it's not out of the realms of possibility that you could have been paying for this out of your own pocket.

PrawnLiberationFront · 18/12/2023 14:25

Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 12:05

I booked to go to a theatre show for the team I manage for our Christmas night out. We all agreed on the show and I'm sure they would have all been aware of the cost when they looked and agreed on the show.

I was expecting them to sort the money out that night and transfer the £20.

not one person has mentioned the money.

If your boss had booked a show for a Christmas night out would you assume it was a present or would you have been like “thanks for booking, here’s the cash”

They shouldn't have been left to assume anything. Lots of workplaces pay for or contribute to a Christmas outing, so it should have been made clear when booking this was a pay for yourself deal, how you expected to be paid, and when. They don't think you've treated them to tickets, they think the company has. You'll have to ask for the money now and apologise for not being clear, but expect some grumbling/people wanting to change their minds.

Toooldtocareanymore · 18/12/2023 14:26

Where i am if its company wide (we are only small) or a team do so all department, than work is paying -that's assumed, so we are going out for lunch on 22nd, it's assumed work will pay mails will say who wants to do date time and any dietary requirements - they always do pay, same for summer bbq etc , odd occasion events, if a mail goes round that says anyone fancy a few drinks after fridays lunch from one of the bosses it's assumed we are all paying for ourselves but someone will try get us a table reserved as everywhere is crammed and usually the partners throw a few quid in pot for the first round , when there was a charity event held nearby that had specific tickets i planned it for work but my mails were who would be interested the cost and how to pay me .

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 18/12/2023 14:27

They may have agreed on the show, and they may well have been aware of the cost of tickets.

But it would appear you did not state at the time - before booking, that they were paying for themselves.

It also appears that when you went to make the booking you didn't say it's x amount each, is that ok with everyone ?

As no one offered money and no one has even mentioned it, they clearly think / believe you are paying for it.

What you / they earn is irrelevant.

If you now ask for money, you will probably find x amount will drop out, as
a) they can't afford it
b) they would rather spend their money elsewhere / on something else
c) they may have preferred to spend their money on a different works do - but as they thought you were paying they didn't suggest an alternative as they could look ungrateful.

I think now the best you can hope for is one or more of them offer payment on the night before you go in to watch the show, or it is offered afterwards when they say ' what a lovely time we had / great show etc. and here's my £'s Thank you so much for organising it.

Otherwise it looks like you will just have to appreciate their thanks at the end of the evening, and make a mental note to be more specific in the future.

If anyone doesn't say thanks at the end then they are cheeky b's.

PuddlesPityParty · 18/12/2023 14:29

Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 14:22

I get that I haven’t been clear but they are still cheeky to not say thank you.

I agree. My team did an activity that everyone paid for themselves and then I got everyone a drink whilst we were out (which they all said thank you for!!)

Might “only” be £20 but that adds up for a whole team! Ours was a similar amount pp but there’s over ten people in my team, it adds up!

Kittythecutest · 18/12/2023 14:29

Why aren’t you asking for the money now?

Delatron · 18/12/2023 14:30

From the OP I think this night out has already happened? So too late for any of this now.

They thought the company was paying - that is why you’ve had no specific thank yous.

You can’t ask for the money in retrospect either as you didn’t agree/make it clear beforehand. Not many would pay to go to the theatre on their own time with their own money just before Christmas.

Namechange666 · 18/12/2023 14:32

Just politely ask for the money on a group email or msg.
Don't sit and stew. Just say it ffs.

I certainly wouldn't just sit back and pay.

And it's the nhs. No one ever gets a budget for Christmas. Everyone knows you pay for yourself. That's the way it is.

LakieLady · 18/12/2023 14:32

Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 13:33

where on earth do you get paid to go on works do. I’ve always paid and never got anything free

Show quote history

My ex used to work for one of the privatised water companies. Their Christmas do was a 3-course meal at a hotel, including wine, with a disco after. They also either subidised an overnight stay, or negotiated a very cheap deal, for staff who lived more than 10 miles from the venue, and partners were included foc.

No wonder some water bills are so bloody high!

Goldenbear · 18/12/2023 14:32

Who wants to go to the theatre with their boss and work team!

LubaLuca · 18/12/2023 14:34

Goldenbear · 18/12/2023 14:32

Who wants to go to the theatre with their boss and work team!

I would, I like them. I'm guessing this is a local panto or similar given the cost per ticket.

Roundtable83 · 18/12/2023 14:35

I was expecting them to sort the money out that night and transfer the £20.

not one person has mentioned the money.

If your boss had booked a show for a Christmas night out would you assume it was a present or would you have been like “thanks for booking, here’s the cash”

I get that I haven’t been clear but they are still cheeky to not say thank you.

You’re still not being clear now.
Is it the money you’re upset about as per your original post, the lack of thanks as above or both? Either way, you have two choices - 1) Just send around an email saying you hope everyone enjoyed the evening and could they now make arrangements to transfer the cost of their tickets to you as soon as they can.
2) Forget about it.

ThomasinaLivesHere · 18/12/2023 14:35

I never understand people who don’t discuss costs clearly. Maybe I’m just more sensitive but I just think it makes sense to have everything clear at the beginning so there’s no awkwardness or misunderstanding. I’d never assume anything with payments and money with people I don’t normally have an understanding with.

Delatron · 18/12/2023 14:36

LakieLady · 18/12/2023 14:32

My ex used to work for one of the privatised water companies. Their Christmas do was a 3-course meal at a hotel, including wine, with a disco after. They also either subidised an overnight stay, or negotiated a very cheap deal, for staff who lived more than 10 miles from the venue, and partners were included foc.

No wonder some water bills are so bloody high!

Show quote history

I used to work for a media company. They used to hire well known bands and huge London venues for the Christmas do - free drinks and food all night. All our work dos were paid for.

We would have a separate office lunch at a nice restaurant that was also paid for.

horseyhorsey17 · 18/12/2023 14:37

I'd assume work was paying unless otherwise stated.

momtoboys · 18/12/2023 14:38

"I'm sure they would have all been aware of the cost when they looked and agreed on the show." This was your first mistake. I would absolutely think it was a christmas gift for the team.

horseyhorsey17 · 18/12/2023 14:40

Delatron · 18/12/2023 14:36

I used to work for a media company. They used to hire well known bands and huge London venues for the Christmas do - free drinks and food all night. All our work dos were paid for.

We would have a separate office lunch at a nice restaurant that was also paid for.

Show quote history

Me too. Sadly all that ended in 2008 and after that we were just allocated £20 a head for Christmas parties. Austerity killed the media fun! I look back on the days of a three course meal at the Hilton with Jonathon Ross hosting as memories of a lost Golden Age!

margotrose · 18/12/2023 14:40

Kittythecutest · 18/12/2023 14:29

Why aren’t you asking for the money now?

Because you can't ask for money after the event has already happened, especially when none of them agreed to pay in the first place...

Delatron · 18/12/2023 14:41

horseyhorsey17 · 18/12/2023 14:40

Me too. Sadly all that ended in 2008 and after that we were just allocated £20 a head for Christmas parties. Austerity killed the media fun! I look back on the days of a three course meal at the Hilton with Jonathon Ross hosting as memories of a lost Golden Age!

Show quote history

Yeah it was quite a long time ago. I remember just before I left we’d gone from conferences in 5 star hotels abroad to a camping trip 😂.

Original poster

Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 14:42

Event was Sunday night

OP posts:

MidnightMeltdown · 18/12/2023 14:43

Where I work, it's normal for people to send out bank details if they are expecting others to pay for something. This should have been done long before the event, and before bookings were made.

Have you sent out bank details for the transfer? If not, how are you expecting then to have transferred the money?

I expect that people haven't said thanks because it's still not clear whether or not they are expected to pay. It seems that you have left it ambiguous and are now blaming them!

margotrose · 18/12/2023 14:48

Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 14:42

Event was Sunday night

Yeah, you can't ask for money now. If you expected people to pay, it should have been agreed in advance and money handed over before you booked anything.

Lesson learned for next time.

Nosleepforthismum · 18/12/2023 14:49

Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 14:42

Event was Sunday night

Are you talking about this Sunday? As in Christmas Eve?

Katbum · 18/12/2023 14:49

If everyone has failed to offer payment it seems like a miscommunication on your part, rather than cheekiness on theirs. You need to be explicit in this kind of instance - it’s not unusual for senior staff/companies to pick up the cheque for this kind of activity. In my last job the most senior staff member often paid for Christmas treat for the whole team.
You will have to send a clarifying email now, but also expect some dropouts as people haven’t budgeted and may put a sour taste on whole thing.