Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they are all cheeky bastards

363 replies

Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 12:05

I booked to go to a theatre show for the team I manage for our Christmas night out. We all agreed on the show and I'm sure they would have all been aware of the cost when they looked and agreed on the show.

I was expecting them to sort the money out that night and transfer the £20.

not one person has mentioned the money.

If your boss had booked a show for a Christmas night out would you assume it was a present or would you have been like “thanks for booking, here’s the cash”

OP posts:
Original poster
Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 12:40

It’s not a reverse. I honestly have always done things this way and have always been offered the cash. I’ve never had a boss that has paid for anything.

if they thought it was a freebie they could at least say thanks

OP posts:
Butchyrestingface · 18/12/2023 12:40

Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 12:38

There was 7 of us and NHS so they would know that it’s not coming from corporate funds

So they thought it was coming from their manager's deep, deep pockets. I'd chalk this one up to experience, OP.

On the bright side, they'll be thinking what a lovely generous manager you are. Maybe someone will even shout you a gin and a packet of peanuts from the theatre bar during the interval.

Lamelie · 18/12/2023 12:40

Did you tell them how much before booking and once you’d bought the tickets.
If not you can’t now complain they’re not rushing to pay you.

ChiIIieP · 18/12/2023 12:40

If you haven't mentioned money they'll assume you're paying, as their boss

Silvers11 · 18/12/2023 12:41

@Helluvawomen - where on earth are you going to the Theatre for £20 a seat? Just being nosy on that one 😊

I have to agree with others though, it depends on the workplace culture ( is this something that is normally paid for by work or the team leader?) and the exact wording of the email discussion etc . If the money wasn't ever mentioned, then I would expect most people would assume the tickets are a gift.

How big is the team? VERY awkward to go back now and say, oops! Sorry! I need money from you as payment for the tickets.

Have found myself, occasionally, having a misunderstanding with someone, because I made assumptions about something and they made different ones. It's easy to do, but can cause difficulties....Really sorry, but communication is key. People aren't mind readers.

takealettermsjones · 18/12/2023 12:41

Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 12:38

There was 7 of us and NHS so they would know that it’s not coming from corporate funds

Even so, it's not unusual for a boss/manager to treat their team at Christmas, corporate funds or not.

IncompleteSenten · 18/12/2023 12:41

But it's not impossible that they thought their manager was going to treat them.

Expenses from failure to communicate clearly should be borne by the person who failed to communicate clearly.

Lucyintheskywithadiamond · 18/12/2023 12:41

Depends on how you presented this event to the team. If it was optional and payment was required was not mentioned I would assume it was paid for.

wutheringkites · 18/12/2023 12:41

The fact that not a single person out of 6 has mentioned the money suggests that you gave them the wrong impression.

aswarmofmidges · 18/12/2023 12:42

So you as the team lead invited everybody to something , didn't mention the cost but assumed they would by sone strange Christmas magic know that , and are surprised they thought you were covering it ?

wonkylegs · 18/12/2023 12:42

As the boss, if you were expecting them to pay then this should have been explicit and timescales given for payment & if necessary reminders as well as making it clear it was optional

It doesn't sound like you were clear so I expect most people have assumed it's a Christmas treat from the company I'm afraid.

Not cheeky as for some companies this would be the case - at my old firm the directors would pay for the Christmas lunch plus several rounds at the bars that followed, then generally the senior staff would buy for the junior staff as the night wore on.

hydriotaphia · 18/12/2023 12:42

The fact that NO ONE has messaged about money suggests that they all think it was a gift. One person might be cheeky and try their luck but you're unlikely to have 7 people working for you who think like this. You will need to ask to be repaid and prepare for fallout.

LubaLuca · 18/12/2023 12:44

"if they thought it was a freebie they could at least say thanks"

I'm sure they will do on the evening.

If you can't afford to foot the bill, start rounding up everyone's £20 asap. Yeah, it'll be awkward and probably some will have to drop out, but you'll get some of it back.

EvilElsa · 18/12/2023 12:47

Surely they would say thanks after the event, not prior to it?

Marcipex · 18/12/2023 12:47

I would assume it’s the Christmas bash if the boss arranged it and didn’t mention money.
Otherwise, a normal arrangement would involve phrases like Does everyone agree on Cats then, Is a Friday better for everyone, It’s £20 a ticket…

Happyhippos21 · 18/12/2023 12:48

If i hadnt bern told its £20 per ticket and to transfer the money ahead of the event, id put it down as being a treat from the boss.

Ceebeegee · 18/12/2023 12:50

Unless it was explicitly clear that you expected them to pay, YABU.
I'd have assumed it was a gift from my manager. In my experience, work evenings such as meals or events have been paid for by work/manager.

Silvers11 · 18/12/2023 12:52

Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 12:38

There was 7 of us and NHS so they would know that it’s not coming from corporate funds

@Helluvawomen - Sorry! I've just seen this update. Ok, that's helpful - but the previous advice still stands. If you failed to communicate clearly that they would be expected to pay their ticket money, then it may have led to them believing you were treating them?

What happened last year? Are you new to this team? Why did you assume that they would KNOW that they had to pay for their own tickets. It is really difficult to know how to reply to you without knowing the full circumstances, including the wording of the invitation.

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 18/12/2023 12:52

If you haven't sent ticket price or bank details how would they be able to pay? Do this anyld there will be no misunderstanding. If i was booking something I'd usually include the ticket price when making a suggestion.

milesmachine · 18/12/2023 12:52

OP the fact that you've avoided the question multiple times on what you said to them when you booked it says it all

Your OP says I'm sure they would have all been aware of the cost when they looked and agreed on the show. Unless when organising it you said 'I've found this show and it will cost £20 each on x day - if you want to go, can you transfer the funds and I'll booked for us all' then I'd assume it was on the boss.

Sounds like you left it very ambiguous

happyinherts · 18/12/2023 12:52

I would have certainly assumed it to be a Christmas treat. Seems like everyone else here - and within your team - is of the same opinion!

Original poster
Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 12:52

I’ve read back the messages and I definitely wasn’t clear enough. If my boss had paid I would at least acknowledge it somehow and say thank you. Last time I do that and for them all individual presents as well

OP posts:
Silvers11 · 18/12/2023 12:53

LubaLuca · 18/12/2023 12:44

"if they thought it was a freebie they could at least say thanks"

I'm sure they will do on the evening.

If you can't afford to foot the bill, start rounding up everyone's £20 asap. Yeah, it'll be awkward and probably some will have to drop out, but you'll get some of it back.

I think the Theatre show has come and gone and no thanks were received

NonPlayerCharacter · 18/12/2023 12:54

We all agreed on the show and I'm sure they would have all been aware of the cost when they looked and agreed on the show.

So you didn't communicate anything on that score and even left them to look up prices without mentioning anything about it. Ah, management.

I'm not surprised that they thought it was on you. The fact that all of them seem to have got that impression suggests it really was your lack of any communication that did it. They probably assume it's on the company which is why they're not thanking you personally.

EmptyYoghurtPot · 18/12/2023 12:55

If no money was mentioned then I’d assume the company was paying.