To ask how many friends you have

[Wastedisposal7]

I only have around 5 would like more.

I have none.
I would like one or two.

I have 2 separate friend groups, 4 in one and 4 in the other.

Maybe one or two that I could count on.

Close friends I can count on? 10
Other friends? Lots

I have about 15 I could call up if I needed something. Don’t always have time to meet up that often but they’re there if I need them and vice versa.

I think it depends on people’s ages and situations. I think people tend to have more friends when younger and in education etc, whereas as we get older our circle narrows to people who are really true friends and very close to us and “our type” of people. I don’t think 5 friends is too little at all, I probably have 3 I see every day on the school run, and a small group of uni friends (maybe 2 that I consider good friends) and two work colleague friends.

Close friends: 4 (2 if I exclude siblings!)

Not so close, probably 5

I have acquaintances rather than friends which is quite sad when I think about it. I’d love a little group that you could go for brunch/ days out with. It’s just hard to strike up meaningful friendships with people as you get older! You have other priorities so links are weak, you aren’t bound by memories like you are with your school friends

Thai jail: 5-10
Fancy a beer?: 50 ish.

I have three but they are the sort you could rely on in absolutely any situation. It's the perfect number for me.

Hmmmm. I’ve never really thought to count.

5 friends that I’m probably in contact with several times a week (one is a colleague who I really clicked with)

Another 8-10 I keep in touch with and see as often as I can.

I’ve estimated this by looking at my WhatsApp messages for the last week or so.

Without wanting to sound obtuse it depend how you describe 'friends' ... I am still friends with three girls I met at primary school ((over 50 years ago!) but we don't meet up regularly: I have friends I met at various work places over the years, people I've met on holiday, people I meet locally as we are involved in community projects etc, friends at church, neighbours I get on with etc etc
But on Mumsnet it seems that you only call people a 'friend' if you would call them up at 3am ... I doubt I would do that with anyone. But I've recently sent 50+ Christmas cards so I am very comfortable that I have a wide circle of friends.
Equally I am very happy that I am home alone on a Saturday night before Christmas with a glass of two of wine and a nice meal .. I am not missing socialising or being with other people.

Thai jail 😂

I should say that I think I have quite a lot of close friends because I consistently prioritise the friendships and have done all my life. Friendships must be fed. If you allow life to get in the way they will wither.

Ha- yeah- basically if you were somehow detained in a Thai jail and had one call to someone who would drop everything to help you, even if massively personally inconvenient how many people could you call?

I couldn’t answer this as it’s on a sliding scale - out of all the people in my life (work, other school mums, hobbies, etc.) I’m honestly not sure where I’d draw a line between friendly acquaintances and ‘proper’ friends. No neat tidy categories but that doesn’t matter really!

I have the secret seven.
Two I buy Christmas presents for. Lots of 'friends' but I trust these ladies. One is my cousin, my sister I don't speak to. If you need more friends try a charity. People are generally kind particularly if a hospice charity

Good to know! I think I've hit at least 6 in that category and two of them are lawyers 😄

None. I have my older sister but she just sees me as a problem to be fixed, not really as an equal. I don’t think she wants to spend time with me, I think she just pencils me into her diary as someone who should be visited every two or three weeks. Apart from that, I’m alone.

None, but it's a choice I'm very happy with

Quite a lot. 3 very close childhood friends, a few close local friends, lots of work friends and friends from hobbies. I am someone who makes friends easily and put a lot of effort into keeping them

3 or 4

I have a lot of acquaintances to chat to in passing or message on social media to catch up, maybe 2 I can meet up with for a lunch or tea, and zero I am close enough to go in a night out with or to share my troubles with.

This sums up everything I was going to say.

I'm beginning to think there needs to be a complete topic dedicated to questions about friends, the same questions are asked so often.

The answer is going to depend hugely on what your particular definition of a 'friend' is.

But my answer would be LOADS.
But then, I never do all this drama I read about on MN. I've never "cut anyone off" or "blocked anyone" in my life. I don't count favours. I accept people for who they are. I understand that we have different stages of life. I don't 'rely on' put a load of pressure on one person to be all things to me.

I'd say maybe 6 or 8 close friends and a couple of dozen 'fancy a pint?' friends.

The two tiers aren't static though, I'd probably give different names as the closest friends at different times and in different circumstances. Only perhaps 2 people would always be on that list no matter what.

Some of those I class as close are geographically far and we don't speak especially regularly, but each conversation picks up naturally from the last, as if no time at all has passed.

Agree with PPs that friendships need work and maintenance to flourish.

Jail breakers- 12-15 or so but they don't all live locally.

Cuppa/ situational maybe 2 at a time.

Ex housemates, friends of friends, DPs friends, friendly exes, friends' DPs I get on well with, another 40ish- people I love and will stay in touch with but not closely

I think this is part of my diagnosed ADHD in that I find it hard to make and maintain casual or non- closely matched friendships so when I meet a potential friend either we hit it off enough to become inner circle or things fade off with little in between.