To ask how many friends you have

[Wastedisposal7]

I only have around 5 would like more.

1 really good friend.

A handful of people I can ask out for coffees, shopping cinema etc.

Before I answer, I’d concentrate on quality rather than quantity, if I was you.

It depends what you mean by friends.

Closest friends about 5, who are part of a wider group of 10. We live in various places now but get together 4-5 times a year and are in almost daily contact by other means.

I also have some individual friends who aren’t really part of a group but who I meet with one to one.

As a PP said it depends how you define "friends". For some people a friend has to be someone you've known for decades and can call at 2am and cry over the phone to. If this is your definition then five friends is quite good going: many people don't have anyone in this category.

Some people define friends very broadly and would include anyone they have on Facebook/Insta and who they've been out socially with a couple of times.

I think people (particularly on Mumsnet) sometimes have overly stringent requirements about this and require a level of commitment which isn't really possible for most people. Friendships come in all shapes and sizes and wax and wane throughout a lifetime. It's not necessary to live in someone's pocket to be a friend. That said, I think a friend has to demonstrate a certain degree of sticking power to distinguish them from a mere acquaintance.

To me the definition of a proper friend (as opposed to just part of your social circle) is someone who will hang out with you even if their broader friend group doesn't like you/can't be bothered with you.

I do think there’s a lot of navel gazing and overthinking on this subject - stop counting people and just go with the flow.

I agree with this. Sometimes the way people talk about their requirements for friends on here is absurdly high maintenance, like a blood pact is needed. People blocking and deleting friends because they've blown them out of one social event for example, which is fairly routine advice on here.

Good friends - maybe 6

Wider circle, groups, colleagues I see out of work but not as much - 20ish

I'm in my late 30s with young children and I have more friends than I've ever had or my friendships are better than they've been

None I'm happier without them.

Like 2 friends. But I'm 50 and friendships seem to decline with age for some reason

I have 1 close friend I see/talk to day to day. Another friend who I chat to regularly but probably only see 3-4 times a year. Two old friends I see 3-4 times a year . A group of women (including the two old friends) I see 1 or 2 times a year. A couple of online friends I chat to. Dh has 6 friends he see around 4 times a year and sometimes we do couples with them.

Ditto

1 but very close to one of my siblings so would count her as my best friend.

Pub buddies but no one I'd invite around my house or spend time elsewhere like going for a meal or shopping or whatever.

4 good friends for deep chats, coffee and regular meet-ups
then maybe 2 more casual friends for walks and coffee

Close friends that I could go to with a problem? Probably 5
Casual friends that I see from time to time and text with? Probably another 6 or 7
People I get on and see in wider company maybe another 10

Have people put the call at 2am friends to the test. The other big one is serious illness. The saying that you know who you're friends are in a time of crisis is so true. If you have one or two that support you through a serious illness or you really have called at 2am, then you are blessed.

I have 5 girl-friends I consider to be close friends whom I trust with personal news and information and who I just love to be around.

There are then tens of others who are just acquaintances or, people I know and like and see at work or socially when I’m with my friends, who’d I’d refer to as ‘a friend’ but who I wouldn’t describe myself as ‘close’ to.

I have one friend who I work with who I also message with outside of work but we live a couple hours apart.
That’s it though.

Id like at least one friend who lived local so I could go out and do something with them like grab a coffee.

it’s incredibly lonely

I've friends from school and previous jobs who I haven't seen since school, job, but i am in contact with on Facebook, probably about 50 of them.
People I work with or have worked with and sometimes still see but not that often, probably about 40
People who would bail me out without question probably about 3.

I live a few hundred miles from where I grew up and have relocated twice.

Friend of 50 years from first day at primary school, she is back in hometown, msg weekly and see each other once a year.

Ex work colleague very close friend of 30 years in touch multiple messages a week and FaceTime once a week, she lives about 300 miles away. Spent two weeks with her in the summer.

I have had 2 long time friends of 30 years die in the last couple, of years, they were mid fifties and another ex colleague who I was close to absolutely lovely women who died aged only 41 who I had known for a decade. I felt their losses very keenly.

DH and I are friends with two couples, met one set at ante natal classes, the kids are 22 now and the other through our children being friends at primary school. I do see both women without our husbands sometimes.

Have 4 close local friends and then about 8 other friends not quite so close who I go for a coffee with, shopping or a bit of a hike.