To think you should say goodbye before leaving a work party?

[kookykalki]

Went with DH to his work Christmas party the other night. We were hanging out with his team and everyone dispersed to get drinks or joined another group of people quite organically. DH wanted to leave and I said ok shall we say bye to your team before leaving. And he said no.

AIBU to say bye? They were literally in front of us so it wouldn't have been difficult. I would have thought it was just polite.

It doesn’t matter either way.

I hate goodbyes when you just want to go home, especially if you don’t really care about the people. I hate the fuss/hugs/asking you to stay for another drink.

I could not bring myself to care about this.

Dropping a smoke bomb and dipping out is fine

Oh god, it’s not an issue. No point forcing stuff like this.

Nah, it either adds another half an hour of goodbyes and other pointless politeness or everyone is so drunk they don’t care. Either way doesn’t matter.

It's OK if you can say bye sensibly, but if his team, after a few drinks, includes people who are going to do the full on protracted hugging and farewells as if you're emigrating to Australia, I don't blame him for making a quick getaway.

I'm with you on this and would say goodbye. Probably wouldn't hunt people down in a crowd at that kind of party but would say goodbye to people nearby or one or two people I'd spent more of the evening with/friends rather than just colleagues.

I say bye but I've noticed lots of people slink out. I've asked and they just want to leave without a fuss

I think it’s weird and rude to just disappear without saying thanks and goodbye, especially to whoever organised it and your key colleagues/boss.

I slink away when I've had enough. I'm too easy to persuade to stay for just one more!

I much prefer a French exit for things like this- doing a big round of goodbyes takes ages, disrupts the party and makes other people wonder whether they should be leaving too. Much better to go discreetly then thank the organiser by email next day.

Got a friend who just leaves nights out without saying anything. Took a bit of getting used to but we just accept it as a quirk.

His reasoning is he's to easily swayed into having another

I’d say goodbye to the people I was sat/stood with but I wouldn’t seek anyone else out to say goodbye.

I’m with him. I am phobic about having to say goodbye to loads of people at the end of the night and find it easier to just scarper.

Most of the people won’t really give a shit whether you are leaving and the ones who will care you will see again soon anyway. It can be cringe having to interrupt conversations to kiss people you hardly know goodbye and it takes ages when people who have had a few drinks start yammering on about something when you are desperate to leave.

I will just thank the person who’s party it is and make sure I don’t owe anyone money and say goodbye to anyone who I won’t see for ages and just slink off.

It's fine to just leave, assuming it's a big group. I tried to just leave mine the other night. A co worker I barely know grabbed me as I attempted to walk out and hugged me and demanded to walk with me for safety reasons. I assume she was pretty drunk - didn't even ask me how I was getting home, so had no idea whether I was walking anywhere. As I was extracting myself and declining the offer, others noticed and I just gave them a cheery wave. Phew and homeward! (Historically I'm rubbish at leaving social things).

I’ve always struggled with this and have always made a point of saying goodbye to everyone if I can.
Early 50s and have realised that I do not have to do this! No one cares or would notice and it just increases the faffage and drama

I slipped out last night! I thanked the person who organised it and buggered off. Otherwise it's tens of people saying goodbye to tens of people for hours. Half the party is goodbyes for the people who stay late.

Besides, they'd had the pleasure of my karaoke rendition so they were punished enough!

I spent 45 minutes doing goodbyes yesterday and still missed someone. It really doesn't matter.

I hate the goodbye routine where you have to go round hugging everyone even those you don't like and get stuck there for another 30 minutes, everyone asking me to stay for one more drink etc.

At my work do I went out for a cig and then just got a taxi home and slipped out. A couple of people messaged me but nobody remembered as they were too drunk (part of the reason I left!)

My DH used to insist on saying goodbye and shaking hands with all 15 people in our hobby group even if we were seeing them again the very next weekend. Drove me loopy and caused huge delay when we needed to get home and it was a long drive. Nothing wrong with a "thanks for a great night all" in their general direction as you wave and leave.

This^
Also at DH’s workplace I would take a lead from him - he would know his people better.

Meh doesn’t really matter. Depends how close he is to work people etc. but I think sometimes it’s just awkward to say bye if others has dispersed.

French exit is my bag.

When I’m done I’m done. Nobody cares.

Bad mannered.