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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you should say goodbye before leaving a work party?

86 replies

kookykalki · 16/12/2023 17:57

Went with DH to his work Christmas party the other night. We were hanging out with his team and everyone dispersed to get drinks or joined another group of people quite organically. DH wanted to leave and I said ok shall we say bye to your team before leaving. And he said no.

AIBU to say bye? They were literally in front of us so it wouldn't have been difficult. I would have thought it was just polite.

OP posts:
ForTonightGodisaDJ · 16/12/2023 19:55

JustOneMoreBaileys · 16/12/2023 19:13

I thought the official way to leave a work party was to sya you were popping to the loo and then never come back?

Have I been doing it wrong?

Love it.

ForTonightGodisaDJ · 16/12/2023 19:56

romdowa · 16/12/2023 18:36

It was always the Irish goodbye for me. Slip away and then text someone to say that you'd left. Otherwise you'd be nagged into having one more and then the cycle would repeat. Best to avoid all that if you are determined to go home

Cool! I did this on Thursday.

Izit · 16/12/2023 19:57

The old Irish goodbye. I usually do it when people are getting pissed and won’t particularly notice. If it was a small gathering or people were very sober (a dinner or something) then it would be rude. But at a party? Perfectly fine.

BotterMon · 16/12/2023 19:59

God no - just leave. Sent through thank you emails day after. I just leave big dos including weddings. Usually most people are too pissed to notice anyway.

FuckinghellthatsUnbelievable · 16/12/2023 20:00

It’s easier to slope off. Once one person leaves others start shuffling off. If you depart quietly people will stay put. I do say thank you to my boss who organised/ paid for it. Then I vamoose.

wideawakeinthemiddleofthenightagain · 16/12/2023 20:03

I will tell one or two people so that no one worries that something has happened to me but, otherwise, I tend to just leave.

vanillaredbushtea · 16/12/2023 20:05

It's fine to slip away and text someone, better to tell one person while you are there really. Then just go.

enchantedsquirrelwood · 16/12/2023 20:06

No. Firstly if your team has 30 people (as mine does) it's going to take ages to find everyone!

And secondly, I usually have a train to catch and I am not missing it.

AntiquePancakes · 16/12/2023 20:09

I'm definitely a sneaker outer, unless it's close family.
DH is a nightmare, if we say goodbye he will then chat for another half hour😠

Howtosolveit · 16/12/2023 20:20

It took me until my early 40s to embrace the joys of a French exit. Now I use lavishly, especially at work parties. I leave when I want (usually fairly sober) and feel totally smug when I get into bed at a reasonable hour.

DitheringBlidiot · 16/12/2023 20:52

I don't think it matter either way.

I don't often say bye to a group, or you get "oh stay" or you have to go round saying bye for ages.

I would mention to one person I was leaving probably but not always.

Cas112 · 16/12/2023 21:02

You never heard the phrase back doored it?

Sweethearte · 16/12/2023 21:04

No one cares, I'd just go

AchillesHeelys · 16/12/2023 21:13

I’m also fond of a French farewell, especially at these type of events when people have been drinking, it can take so long to actually leave and someone always tries to convince you to stay.

squeekychicken · 16/12/2023 21:17

I hate saying goodbye. I'd rather slip out.

WelshNerd · 16/12/2023 21:18

JustOneMoreBaileys · 16/12/2023 19:13

I thought the official way to leave a work party was to sya you were popping to the loo and then never come back?

Have I been doing it wrong?

That’s got me out of a lot of bad evenings.

Anneta · 16/12/2023 21:23

At a large work’s function I wouldn’t worry about saying goodbye to everyone but I probably would speak to my immediate team/ close friends, especially if they are standing just in front of me. However I would definitely say goodbye to all & thanks to the organisers if it was a family function or a wedding reception.

bananablues · 16/12/2023 21:27

Often resorted to an Irish goodbye as a way of avoiding the drunk ‘just say for one more’, ‘not yet’ etc.

maybe let one person know but otherwise slip
out quietly & quickly is a standard approach

Cupcakekiller · 16/12/2023 21:27

I realised I was too drunk & too tired and slunk off early at out work Xmas do. I know some people would've made a fuss and begged me to stay but I'd reached my limit. I messaged everyone to make sure they knew I was safe but it was time for my bed. Don't think I did anything wrong.

Ebeneser · 16/12/2023 21:29

MereDintofPandiculation · 16/12/2023 19:14

It helps pin down the time for searching security cameras ...

But more sensible to say goodbye to friends - they're more likely to proffer up the information that you left the party at X time.

And more likely to say"how are you getting home? Do your want a lift?"

Show quote history

This basically @theduchessofspork
Men probably get beaten up more but women are the ones that will get raped and murdered.

LoveHema · 16/12/2023 21:32

LividSleep · 16/12/2023 18:26

French exit is my bag.

When I’m done I’m done. Nobody cares.

Ah! In France this is called 'dashing away, the English way'. 😀

AnnaKorine · 16/12/2023 21:34

Silently slip away, every time

greencheetah · 16/12/2023 21:37

French exit. Perfectly acceptable.

SnaillikeCantaloupe · 16/12/2023 21:46

Best way to leave a party, unless you were literally in the middle of a deep and meaningful with someone, then buggered off when you said you were just popping to the loo. Goodbyes are awkward and often unnecessary!

LlynTegid · 16/12/2023 21:59

At least say good bye to someone.