Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

The etiquette of accepting a parcel for a neighbour

119 replies

chickendinnerroasted · 16/12/2023 16:38

A delivery driver knocked at the door last night and asked if I'd accept a parcel for a neighbour about 4 doors down. Sure, no problem.

Around mid-afternoon today no one had knocked for it, so I went down to the neighbour's (who I've never met before) and said I'd taken in a parcel for him and handed it to him. He replied, 'Great, I was waiting for you to bring that over'.

As I went home, got me thinking about the etiquette of accepting parcels for neighbours. If you had a card pushed through your door to say a neighbour had your parcel, would you go round to get it? Or would you wait for the neighbour to bring it?

I just assume that if my neighbour has kindly taken in my parcel, it's my responsibility to go and get it! But apparently my neighbour thinks it's my responsibility to deliver it to him.

Such a minor, pointless issue really!! But it did make me wonder if there's some unspoken etiquette I'm not aware of?

OP posts:

Fundays12 · 16/12/2023 17:57

I always go and get it and my neighbours normally collect to but sometimes I will pop out my front to when I see my neighbour coming in as our house doors are very close. They do the same to.

RafaFan · 16/12/2023 17:58

Maybe he's on MN and has seen all those posts from people who say they never answer a knock on the door, so he thought he'd be wasting his time.

fingerguns · 16/12/2023 18:00

To those that have a neighbour's parcel for more than 3 days, I think you're being rude for not attempting to deliver it. You have their address, whereas they probably don't have yours.

muddyford · 16/12/2023 18:00

I would collect. Old neighbour always expected me to traipse over with his vast boxes, so then I told couriers I wouldn't take his parcels and why.

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 16/12/2023 18:02

I would expect them to come and get it. If they don’t, I don’t accept anymore of their parcels.

SleepingStandingUp · 16/12/2023 18:02

They should collect but it's absolutely deep it round after 24 hours in case they didn't let a card through ) missed up in the post

Original poster

chickendinnerroasted · 16/12/2023 18:02

RafaFan · 16/12/2023 17:58

Maybe he's on MN and has seen all those posts from people who say they never answer a knock on the door, so he thought he'd be wasting his time.

This made me laugh! 😂

I am glad to discover there isn't some unspoken etiquette though. If I'm expecting a parcel, I just check the website and ask for it to be put in a safe place, so it's quite rare to receive a parcel which then goes to the neighbours.

I'll continue to take in parcels for neighbours though. I really don't mind, I was just curious as to whether there's some weird rule about it that I didn't know!

OP posts:

ActDottie · 16/12/2023 18:04

I’d always come and get it. But sometimes neighbours dont know what house it’s at. We’ve taken in a parcel for someone a few doors up and I went round after a while to deliver it because she didn’t know it was with us. She only tried immediate neighbours.

notacooldad · 16/12/2023 18:04

Why on earth didn't you say' I'm just poping out now, but I'll be in later so call round when you get chance! Or similar.

SquigglePigs · 16/12/2023 18:09

I would expect them to come and get it (although I'd have given them longer than you did as they may have been at work in the day and planning to come in the evening). If no one has come in a couple of days I'd take it round because I know some delivery services are rubbish at putting notes through doors.

thedukeofbuckinghamshire · 16/12/2023 18:11

If you want it you go round and get it.

grass67 · 16/12/2023 18:16

My last 4 parcels were all electronically marked with "left with a neighbour"

Which one??

Everyone holding parcels...they might not know. Thankful I only have a couple of houses near me, but a terraced street or housing estate would be a nightmare.

ClematisBlue49 · 16/12/2023 18:16

I've mostly stopped answering the door to couriers, because I never know when the recipients are going to knock to collect their parcels, and I don't want to be disturbed. But if Amazon is delivering to me at the same time, it can be awkward to refuse, so I will always go straight round with the parcel as soon as I know they are in, or leave it behind a bin and email them if I have their details.

TBH it annoys me that people can't manage their deliveries to ensure someone is in when they come. Most couriers allow you to reschedule, or deliver to a safe place or collection point.

Lifeomars · 16/12/2023 18:16

I always collect and thank profusely. On one occasion I took in some massive flatpacked boxes for a neighbour who did not bother to come and get them. I knocked,, left notes but no response. Had them cluttering up my little house for nearly two weeks. I knew he garaged his motorbike over the road so I got the bloke he rented the garage from to take them and put them there. I thought it was so rude to leave them at my house, if they hadn't been so big I would have dragged them out and propped them up against his front door

laclochette · 16/12/2023 18:17

I'd expect them to go and get it, for the simple reason that you have no idea when they will be in, and if you have to make a couple of wasted trips to their front door that's a lot of effort for you given it's not your parcel, whereas it's actually their parcel so it's less of an annoyance for them surely?? They have something to gain at the end of it.

HardcoreLadyType · 16/12/2023 18:20

TheFlis · 16/12/2023 16:42

I would always go and collect asap but have had occasions where the cards have said ‘left with a neighbour’ and not specified which.

I have had this, and knocked on all the neighbours doors in either side until we found who it was.

Things are often left with our next door neighbour, although we are almost always in (working from home) except for weekends. We will take in things for them, to reciprocate, and I text to let them know, but they often don’t collect for days and days.

LadyEloise1 · 16/12/2023 18:21

Did he say thank you @chickendinnerroasted ?

Justontherightsideofnormal · 16/12/2023 18:24

i have a retired couple who live opposite me in our cul-de-sac. They always take in our parcels then message my phone to say that they have our parcel (we all have each others numbers so we can message if something is happening in the street) Sometimes it’s a few times a week! I always apologise and thank them when I go to collect.

Sirian · 16/12/2023 18:25

I actually like my neighbours so I’d happily take their parcel over to their house for them if they hadn’t had a chance to come and collect it yet. If my parcel had been delivered to their house I’d go and get it, but sometimes if it’s convenient for them they just knock on my door as they’re passing and hand it over. It’s not really a big deal either way, I don’t see the point of getting all arsey and insisting they have to come and get it.

Alsonification · 16/12/2023 18:26

I've always been happy to take neighbours parcels & they've taken mine & it's worked well. If I get one in I'd text neighbours & tell them & they'd come for it & vice versa.
About 4 years ago I got new neighbours on one side. They are not very friendly but I've taken in a couple of parcels for them. However they never collect them & I've had to bring them round to them. They grab off me & then shut the door. Final straw came when I had a large parcel for them. I refused to bring it over. Waited & no sign of them calling. I then saw them in the drive so I told them I have it. They said ok & ignored me. After that I left it on their doorstep & refused any more parcels. I'm their only neighbour as they're the first house in the row so I've no idea what happens now. Nor do I care.

maximist · 16/12/2023 18:31

The couriers round here seem to have given up even trying neighbours (or indeed waiting the 15 seconds it takes me to get to the door), they just knock (ignoring the Ring doorbell), dump the parcel on the doorstep in full view of anyone passing by and run away fast. Thankfully it's not a high crime area...

maximist · 16/12/2023 18:33

Oh, and if by any chance a parcel does get left with a neighbour (or we see a parcel on a doorstep), we mostly have each others keys, so just drop it straight in for them. Works for us.

ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 16/12/2023 18:40

I don't get this neighbours accepting parcels thing? Where I live the parcel is either left on the doorstep (you can give them authority to do this, some companies just do it anyway) or you get a card asking you to pick it up/arrange re-delivery. How do the drivers find a neighbour at home, do they just keep knocking on doors until they find someone? Seems like a time waster to me.

IrresponsiblyCertainAboutSexualDimorphism · 16/12/2023 18:40

I always accept parcels for one next door neighbour. They are lovely, and always pick up quickly, but if they didn’t I’d have no issue taking it round.

The other way, I’m more picky. If it’s larger than a shoebox it’s nope. They massively took the piss deliveries-wise during the lockdowns (just didn’t answer the door - cars were there), drive down the shared driveway dangerously fast and their kids’ friends chuck vape cartridges over the fence into my flowerbed. Petty? You bet.

BoohooWoohoo · 16/12/2023 18:44

On my street people pick up the parcel as soon as they get home

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread