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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

The etiquette of accepting a parcel for a neighbour

119 replies

chickendinnerroasted · 16/12/2023 16:38

A delivery driver knocked at the door last night and asked if I'd accept a parcel for a neighbour about 4 doors down. Sure, no problem.

Around mid-afternoon today no one had knocked for it, so I went down to the neighbour's (who I've never met before) and said I'd taken in a parcel for him and handed it to him. He replied, 'Great, I was waiting for you to bring that over'.

As I went home, got me thinking about the etiquette of accepting parcels for neighbours. If you had a card pushed through your door to say a neighbour had your parcel, would you go round to get it? Or would you wait for the neighbour to bring it?

I just assume that if my neighbour has kindly taken in my parcel, it's my responsibility to go and get it! But apparently my neighbour thinks it's my responsibility to deliver it to him.

Such a minor, pointless issue really!! But it did make me wonder if there's some unspoken etiquette I'm not aware of?

OP posts:

mammabing · 16/12/2023 17:22

I’ve had a parcel left with a neighbour before but the delivery card didn’t say which house number.
I still went round all the houses nearby to find it though. I wouldn’t expect them to come to me.

jemenfous37 · 16/12/2023 17:23

@Anselma Oh! You could be right. 🙂

Zanatdy · 16/12/2023 17:23

I go and collect it if I’ve had the card. I wouldn’t just wait no.

AmazingDayz · 16/12/2023 17:25

I would have said yanbu but the other day dpd left my parcel with a neighbour but didn't say which one!

MrsMiddleMother · 16/12/2023 17:29

As a rule I go and collect it from whichever neighbour unless it wasn't stated which house.

euff · 16/12/2023 17:29

He should have collected. I just wouldn't take for him anymore. Like pp though I have had a neighbour drop our parcel to us looking a bit annoyed but I didn't know it was with them and we'd been in all day and hadn't heard anyone at the door. My neighbour takes her time to collect and we do try to drop to her as well but they often don't answer even when I'm sure they are in.

Jeannie88 · 16/12/2023 17:31

Your parcel, you collect it. I do however take them round sometimes when I see them in, just to be nice and Hooe they do the same lol 😆

housethatbuiltme · 16/12/2023 17:31

Sometimes theres no note so you don't know.

My next door neighbor always rushes over on the odd occasion she got a package for us, usually before we have even got in the house.

I more likely to wait for someone to come to me, I have two little kid and Im not wrangling the circus to go out. if they have come in a few days I attempt to kick my idle teen out of bed to pop it round.

Usually the packages I get though my door are for another house with the same number and similar street name but completely different street so its a 10 minute walk down the hill then back up the hill. I don't know why the delivery guy can't just learn the difference, its been years.

TrinityTinselToes · 16/12/2023 17:33

I take parcels in often for my porch sharing neighbours.

I usually end up knocking there to give them their parcel.
I think its because they might not wish to disturb Me..

Also, just yesterday oddly enough, I had taken a package in and knocked and my neighbour told Me they had had no notification that it was here.

Personally, I used to go and get my package/s if a neighbour took them in.

RuthW · 16/12/2023 17:36

I would go and collect it however sometimes I don't even get a card put though so I have no idea I have a parcel to collect

wronginalltherightways · 16/12/2023 17:38

I'd have kept it until they appeared to collect it. Your neighbour was rude.

LaurieStrode · 16/12/2023 17:41

skelter83 · 16/12/2023 16:40

I’ve had a parcel in my hall for a neighbour for the past 5 weeks. You’ve just reminded me it’s there… we’ve got used to it. I’m absolutely not taking it down to their house.

What if they weren't informed of which house it was dropped at?

Pinkfluff76 · 16/12/2023 17:41

What a lazy fuck!! He should’ve definitely collected!

miniegg3 · 16/12/2023 17:43

skelter83 · 16/12/2023 16:40

I’ve had a parcel in my hall for a neighbour for the past 5 weeks. You’ve just reminded me it’s there… we’ve got used to it. I’m absolutely not taking it down to their house.

I've had things delivered to a neighbour before and haven't even been posted a card to say so. Might be something like that?

MereDintofPandiculation · 16/12/2023 17:43

If a neighbour expected me to take parcels round to them, I would no longer accept parcels for them.

RosePetals86 · 16/12/2023 17:45

We’ve been done before taking a parcel (pretty big too) for a neighbour and they didn’t come and collect. Eventually dh took it to them (after a week or so) and they didn’t realise it had been delivered so delivery driver hadn’t posted a note! They felt awful.
your neighbour on the other hand sounds like an entitled prick if he knew you had it he should have knocked!!!

Hadalifeonce · 16/12/2023 17:45

I would always try to collect, if I was out when the parcel was delivered, I wouldn't expect a neighbour to know when I was in.

EveryFrogHasItsDay · 16/12/2023 17:45

They should come and get it.

I have stopped accepting parcels for a particular neighbour. It felt like a sorting office at times and the thing that really annoyed me was that it is a second home and they must have known that they wouldn’t be there for these parcels!

Then, when they returned they took their time in coming to get them, days at a time, and weren’t at all apologetic when they did arrive! Just rude.

growingonmyass · 16/12/2023 17:47

The etiquette is that the person the parcel belongs to collects it.

One of my CF neighbours actually put our house down as her regular "safe place" for deliveries because we wfh. I'll be buggered if I'm playing delivery service as well!

miniegg3 · 16/12/2023 17:47

Anselma · 16/12/2023 17:05

I don't accept huge or heavy parcels and usually take them to neighbour when I notice they're home.

Most are out all day and get home late and might not want to disturb me, so I'd rather disturb them!
My parcels are never left with neighbours as I WFH, also have a designated safe place for when I'm out.

I once accepted to take a parcel for an old neighbour, then the 2 delivery men carried huge boxes of an outdoor swing/slide set In to my tiny living room 😆

Growlybear83 · 16/12/2023 17:51

I often take in parcels for my neighbours and expect that they will come round to collect them. But of course, this is Mumsnet where most people don't seem to answer their doors 😆😟

Dweetfidilove · 16/12/2023 17:51

Sometimes the messages don’t say where the package was delivered, so I wait a few days…

Mayne that’s what he meant, otherwise he’s an entitled idiot.

FedUpMumof10YO · 16/12/2023 17:53

I wouldn't have taken it to them, I'd have waited for them to come to me.

WestStone · 16/12/2023 17:53

To be honest, this is something you’d have been better discussing with the neighbour at the time instead of MN. You could have replied “well I was waiting for you to collect it” and he might have apologised or explained he didn’t know the door number or profusely thanked you. Either way you’ve set a boundary in real life instead of wasting time whether you’ve made a faux pas with MN. I never accept parcels for neighbours I don’t know, I wouldn’t want a complete stranger taking my parcels in.

fingerguns · 16/12/2023 17:54

You should always go to the house to collect it imho. But if there is no number on the card and someone brings it to you, then at least tell them "thank you, there were no details about where it had been left!". Small things make a difference.

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