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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

american bragging christmas cards

132 replies

thatsnotmywean · 16/12/2023 13:07

We got the annual christmas card from an american acquaintance. I say acquaintance as they are a friend of a friend and we couldn't care less.

What is it though with this American trend of bragging every christmas? Its like competitive parenting. This card is full of "my beauty business is doing SO well this year, little johnny really loves his music and has a future as an aspiring musician, little janey does cheerleading practice 3 times a week, she's so dedicated" and so on.

AIBU to think, this is a stupid tradition?

Also, I think if we have time, we should send one back full of stupid shit. Can I have suggestions of what to say?

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 16/12/2023 21:14

Why does updating someone on your life equate to bragging. Would you rather - best wishes, john? If so what’s the point? I know many Brits who attach a letter in Christmas cards, I personally like to hear how someone’s year has been

Evenstar · 16/12/2023 21:29

I look forward to receiving letters with my Christmas cards and hearing people’s news, I always include one with photos with mine particularly for elderly relatives and friends without social media.

It has actually been mentioned at some elderly relatives funerals how much they looked forward to a letter at Christmas. I had a letter back from the daughter of my former neighbour last year saying how much pleasure the letter had given her mother who is nearly 105 now.

There is no need for boasting, I think social media is far worse for that anyway.

whiteorchids44 · 16/12/2023 21:30

Not every American sends Christmas newsletters and in fact I've seen Brits send them out as well. I suppose these newsletters are like Marmite. You either love or hate them.

There is a movie on Netflix about Christmas newsletters. It's called Best. Christmas. Ever! with Heather Graham, Brandy and Jason Biggs. Heather Graham finds the Christmas newsletters that Brandy sends about her family cringey. I have a soft spot for Christmas movies so I definitely watched it.

Zwellers · 16/12/2023 21:34

I just don't understand why anyone regardless of nationality thinks people outside of thier immediate close family care about what them and thier kids get up to. It's just self obsessiveness

mathanxiety · 16/12/2023 21:56

@thatsnotmywean

I suggest you look up the longstanding Janet and Roy seasonal joke here on MN.

It's a hilarious take on a very British tradition.

I'm in the US and never send or receive any letters of the sort that has got on your tits.

mathanxiety · 16/12/2023 22:03

thatsnotmywean · 16/12/2023 16:14

I have american relatives (and friends) so not anti american, but every single American family I know does this and not one from any of the other many countries I have family, friends and colleagues from. Its really cringey.

It's funny how someone imparting good news is considered bragging. Why is that, would you say?

mathanxiety · 16/12/2023 22:06

MaidOfSteel · 16/12/2023 17:22

It's not a way of letting everyone know how their lives are going. It's bragging. Half of it is probably made up. If it was on Facebook, MN would be decrying it.

Again the word 'bragging', accompanied by refusal to believe some people live happier and more successful lives than you do.

Why do you think it's bragging? Why do you think it's not true? How can both thoughts coexist?

FatOldBitch · 16/12/2023 22:08

Dunno about America but this is surely really passé here now. Do you know about the Janet and Roy threads?

fizzyred · 16/12/2023 22:10

Oh my gosh, definitely not just an American thing.

My quite religious and slightly odd cousin sends a full round robin email every Christmas. It used to be "Roger is still enjoying gospel choir and venture scouts' but these kids are married now and she's still doing it... also includes their wives in it! "Roger and Rowena have just bought a house in St Tewdrics and are involved in the local floral group and running Sunday school"

It goes to absolutely everyone.

It's funny though because she's very anti social media but as well as these boasty and bizarre newsletters she also sends us photos in a WhatsApp group almost fortnightly of all their meals out, weekend breaks etc...

Helenloveslee4eva · 16/12/2023 22:18

I love cards like this ❤️
man update on peoples kids etc is lovely. Why shouldn’t they be proud ?
I have the antidote which makes me sad , for. Couple of older friends , where the updates are what bones they’ve broken and how the kidney failure is going so kids doing well/ ill take that 🤣

MrsAvocet · 16/12/2023 22:46

I just don't understand why anyone regardless of nationality thinks people outside of thier immediate close family care about what them and thier kids get up to. It's just self obsessiveness
Whereas I think it's a bit odd that anyone wouldn't have sufficient interest in the lives of people outside their immediate family to read a letter once a year from an old friend or more distant relative. I'd say that's pretty self obsessed.
Yes, some people do go into excessive detail, but most don't in my experience and I am pleased to hear from people I don't speak to regularly but still care about.
Anyway fortunately letters are inanimate objects, not like the ones in the Harry Potter stories that chase you around yelling, so those who do object always have the option of simply not reading them.

ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 16/12/2023 23:13

Hermione101 · 16/12/2023 20:04

Love the tradition and love the family updates. People have to be really miserable in their own lives to hate on things like this.

Miserable and envious I suspect.

SparklyOwls · 16/12/2023 23:20

I get a card every year from a UK family with a two page Round Robin... It's the highlight of the year and it's so funny!!!

LeaveBritneyAlone · 16/12/2023 23:23

This isn’t an American thing, my mum used to get loads when we were kids. She’d always joke that no one ever puts “Johnny is now 13, can you believe it! He punched DH the other day and kicked a hole in the wall, he’s a little prick to tell you the truth. Merry Christmas.” 😂

HelloVeritas · 16/12/2023 23:26

I miss the Mumsnet of old when we all wrote anonymous Round Robins for mumsnetters family members. I often wonder what the recipients of mine thought when my letter arrived? Xmas Blush

MrsMariaReynolds · 16/12/2023 23:40

mathanxiety · 16/12/2023 22:03

It's funny how someone imparting good news is considered bragging. Why is that, would you say?

Show quote history

The Brits are only happy when they can moan about something. Good news is hardly worth talking about. Especially when it is their own. 😁

TizerorFizz · 16/12/2023 23:58

Good news isn’t the same as the full
on point scoring. X started school becomes “X is top of the class in reading and his reading age has been assessed as 10 so is clearly gifted”. Or X has started riding ponies and loves looking after them becomes “X won first prize at every pony show attended and, as the pony cost £15,000, we are delighted it was money well spent”. I assume everyone can see the difference. News is great. Boasting news gets rolled eyes and a ? about whether to drop them off the card list next year.

Gilgogirl · 17/12/2023 00:06

Hi, I was born in the northeast of the United States in 1957 and the only people who sent those update family postcards were born during world war 2 and after that, no one did because the GIs and their families were way to busy for that. My mother was a Ww2 baby and only one friend from her childhood sent one and we’d laugh. Nice being rich. Nothing to brag about back then. But her friend became wealthy in her marriage so it was definitely a brag.

Gilgogirl · 17/12/2023 00:13

And I live in New York, on Long Island. 35 minute train ride into manhattan.i don’t know where you know people from America but it ain’t new york

Diamondcurtains · 17/12/2023 00:28

I write about 3 cards a year. I’ve had the same box of pre printed cards for about 5 years that just have out names in them. 😂

LemonadeSunshine · 17/12/2023 00:45

I hear you! My US colleagues feel the need to share in this way too, tiresome and meaningless, I don't know them personally and have no wish to hear about their offspring.

FuzzyPuffling · 17/12/2023 07:51

We got a Round Robin pdf this year, along with the "no cards, saving the environment" nonsense, generically sent on messenger.

I did not open it.

Switchandflake · 17/12/2023 08:12

The only person I know who still sends this type of letter is British. I think American thing now (judging by the American cards we receive) is to send single large photo of either the kids or the whole family on cardstock with some sort of generic “Merry Christmas” printed in a nice foil letters. Nothing personal whatsoever.

dudsville · 17/12/2023 08:53

How is an actual picture not personal? 🤣

phoenixrosehere · 17/12/2023 09:01

Switchandflake · 17/12/2023 08:12

The only person I know who still sends this type of letter is British. I think American thing now (judging by the American cards we receive) is to send single large photo of either the kids or the whole family on cardstock with some sort of generic “Merry Christmas” printed in a nice foil letters. Nothing personal whatsoever.

I prefer those and think it’s more personal than sending the standard Christmas card that says “Happy Christmas” from xyz.

I get pictures from some members of my family and from my British in-laws.

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