american bragging christmas cards

[thatsnotmywean]

We got the annual christmas card from an american acquaintance. I say acquaintance as they are a friend of a friend and we couldn't care less.

What is it though with this American trend of bragging every christmas? Its like competitive parenting. This card is full of "my beauty business is doing SO well this year, little johnny really loves his music and has a future as an aspiring musician, little janey does cheerleading practice 3 times a week, she's so dedicated" and so on.

AIBU to think, this is a stupid tradition?

Also, I think if we have time, we should send one back full of stupid shit. Can I have suggestions of what to say?

YABU for saying it is an American thing. Over 300 million Americans. I don’t think they all do the same. And of course they are going to write good news, I expect if they didn’t you would be moaning about them being negative.

I'm american and find this very cringey. I don't identify well with the culture here, it's not just the toxic success driven culture, but also comparative, measuring up to fake social media bs. Their image is their whole personality and motivation in life. I know this is a global issue (SM) but it's particularly gross here. Just the fact they would send something like that to a friend of a friend is so weird. Not all americans are like this but I would say most.

This is a ‘thing’ in the US. I think it’s a great idea!!

I would never moan that all Brits have a bad diet with too many fried foods as that would not be kind or fair (or true)

And also utterly bizarre given that loads of American foods are literally banned in the UK due to having chemicals and America is known as the home of fast food.

Most Brits laugh at the stereotypes of British people and don’t take personal offence.

Traditionally, it's sharing good news with your friends at a time that has traditionally been for reflection/wrapping up loose ends. It originated back when people might not see distant family or friends that have moved away and have no way to communicate except by letter. I think most people do this online now, if they do it at all.

The idea is that your friends will be happy about your good news because they love you and want the best for you and are happy to hear that your family are well. Plus sometimes the news is really useful - oh, Peggy and Jim's daughter Julia started at Vassar this fall - my Susie has her heart set on going there and would love some admissions tips! Or Jim's working at IBM now - I wonder if he has any job leads!

The letter would be as upbeat as possible because you don't want to burden your more distant friends and family with trouble or headache. You'd definitely included sad things that people need to know, like someone dying. Everyone's different, but you most likely wouldn't include something that's private/damaging; your immediate family and close friends would already know and no one else needs to.

If you don't know these people well enough to care about their news, you can ask them - politely; you probably know someone who can coach you if needed - to stop including you.

It’s a thing here too! We receive cringe letters from grandparents! My cleaner used to refer to her grandson as “the cleverest boy in the school” until he didn’t get to a grammar school. Others have had reading ages 5 years ahead, had fantastic sporting achievements and are showered with accolades for whatever they do. It does get a bit much. There are ways of saying grandchildren are happy without going ott.

I get three of these every year (all British) and genuinely love them. Find it sad that they are mocked so much.

I don't associate this with America particularly, the people in my family that do this are Australian and Scottish. Think it's just a bit old fashioned rather than regional

It’s awful, awful. No one gives a shit they’re taking the piss out of you whilst reading it. If you’re British… I can’t speak for other nationalities but this is very un-British. If anything you should send a card moaning but with some wit 😂

SeaToSki · Today 14:04

Interesting..I just finished reading a Christmas letter…from a British relative and I haven’t received any from any of my American friends for as far back as I can remember (and since I live in the US there would be a high chance of me getting one if it was a country-wide phenomenon)

I do get lots of lovely photo cards from my American friends which I enjoy receiving as I can see how their dc are growing up etc.

As ever, if you are going to be rude about someone or something that someone does or says, may I suggest you dont assume that the rest of their country does or says exactly the same things. I have British friends that like to eat deep fried Mars bars (which I think is disgusting and a quick route to diabetes 2) but I would never moan that all Brits have a bad diet with too many fried foods as that would not be kind or fair (or true)

🤣🤣🤣 cor yeah… an American chastising the British diet. That one doesn't live any room for retaliation 🤣🤣… you should have gone with our bad teeth or horrible accents. We would have had to own that…

Love the tradition and love the family updates. People have to be really miserable in their own lives to hate on things like this.

I was just coming on here to say that I can't stand anti- nation hate threads and as you've pointed out it's vile to have nasty things said about your entire homeland as a lazy generalisation.

Says more about the OP than the US that's for sure.

I just ignore the bragging on the one I get. I send a card with just greeting from the Carson's on it. We usually meet up once a year anyway so I hear all the gossip of how great they are then.

Just tell them you don't like them much? It's more cringey to bitch about your supposed friends.

Dear X and Y,

Please stop sending me any updates on your family. I dislike you to the point of making a post on the internet complaining about your cultural traditions.

Happy Christmas,

Scrooge

I love hearing about my friend’s and family’s happiness at Christmas time, and I’m glad it’s the season to focus on the positives.
They are letting you know how they are doing.

American’s tend not to waste as much time on polite modesty and I’ve always found the ones I’ve met to be straightforward and kind. So that’s how I’d take that card. They probably hope you guys are doing equally as well.

And at least they aren’t sending a card full of their recent pain and failiures, as that would be awkward wouldn’t it 😬

I had never been aware of anti-American sentiment until I became friends with a woman who was here for a few years with her husband's job. The open prejudice truly shocked me and, I agree, the Americans I have met are often nicer

I am much older than most current MN users, been here "since it were all fields", and I have to say our age group (60s) are probably the most guilty of sending round robins as older than us didn't have computers/printers, etc when their children were young and they had news to share while younger than us have used social media more. We still get a fair few and still send ours out although we try to be as minimally nauseating as possible.
Having said that I'd sooner risk being thought of as cringey than be as bitchy, negative and snarkey as many posters seem to be now

Right.

Even in my lowest days, I would never begrudge someone from seemingly doing well, and writing of the positives of what is going on in their family. I also wouldn’t see it as braggy but some seem to rather assume someone’s bragging instead of just relaying positive information especially in written form when there is little clue of tone.

I have only seen such things in the occasional American Christmas movie yet never received one growing up in the States. It seems some forget or struggle to acknowledge that the US has different regions with different traditions just like the UK.

I love Xmas 'round robin' letters. Read the book 'The Cat that could open the fridge'. It's really funny and will give you lots of ideas for your own.

The only person I know who did this in the US was a German family living there. The son who I knew was mortified lol, a lot of it was describing his brother's modelling career.

Anyways, surely it's actually a British thing, it was done in Adrian Mole

I think you just have to accept the degree of exaggeration they contain and take it with a pinch of salt. I had an acquaintance that used to send a very self-congratulatory missive each year. They lived in a large house in a lovely area and on one occasion mentioned the summer house in their garden. I was very disappointed when I visited to see the summer house was in fact a run of the mill garden shed, albeit quite large and containing a sofa bed for overnight guests. Despite this though they were nice people.

Omg I’d forgotten the bragging letters I used to get as Robins from some friends of my parents. They were friends with my parents and back in the 1980s parents were very no sugar, no tv - all academic each letter was …. Here’s a picture of Alan look how tall and handsome he is. He decided against going to Oxford and is having a year out to travel to Columbia to eradicate the drug problem etc etc etc they went on for years. They spotted when Eldest son went to prisoner for dealing drugs and then youngest became awful - local councillor type argumentative, sexist, heavily obese and just dire. He was well known both the parents father and the younger son had affair after affair after affair. Just grim

My Mum and her friends do Round Robins. Some of them are so witty and entertaining I look forward to reading them myself each year even though I've never met the authors!

None are boastful, it's really nice to hear about their year. They include the good and the bad. I wish my friends would do it!

It wouldn't be my style, but boastful round robins are hardly uniquely American - I remember one British acquaintance listing her children's examination results in a table each year!

I've grown to love the American tradition of photo Christmas cards. I genuinely enjoy seeing their cards each year.

I get a bit fed up people turning up their noses at Americans.

Boastful letters =smug marrieds
No thanks

Every single American family you know does this... and you know.. what... 500 American families? No? Would even 500 be representative of a country that size? Cool your jets. You didn't like the card. Bin it. No harm done.