Once in a lifetime trip - 3 weeks off school

[XMissPlacedX]

My daughter has always wanted to go to Disney world Florida, but due to funds I've not been able to afford it. She is 14.

Her aunty who is quite well off and has a daughter the same age (my dd's cousin ) goes to Disney world Florida every 2 years and has offered to take my dd next year for 3 weeks.

The problem is it's the first 3 weeks of the school term ( September 2024). I've asked her if there was anyway of going in the summer holidays and she said it would double their cost and it would be cheaper for them to pay the school fine .

What do I do ? Do I say yes or no ? I would love for my dd to go but am not sure how much the fine would be and what impact missing that amount of school would cause.

I'm really torn

@RampantIvy Before the latest GCSE revisions the school my DDs attended allowed girls a term out in y9 for a school exchange! My DDs both went and gained a lot. They had to go to their exchange school and do some work set by the uk teachers. They are so glad they got this experience. This type of exchange has virtually disappeared. Now we seem to think Disney is the opportunity of a lifetime. It’s interesting that a broad education is confused with Disney.

Same!

I was prepared to agree the OP was being reasonable with her child missing school for a 'trip of a lifetime' but Disneyworld Florida was not remotely what I expected to see there or had in mind! A tacky theme park isn't worth potentially wrecking GCSEs over.

I would 100% let her go..it's a once in a lifetime opportunity and potential for lasting memories while she is young. My caveat would be.. is she academically strong enough to make up the studies? And is she willing to do a bit of extra work to catch up? If so, then definitely let her have the holiday. If you think it will massively impact her education then maybe she should wait till after exams. I wouldn't worry about school fines, teacher judgement etc. Travel experiences are an education in themselves.

We got shown a graph with a direct correlation between school attendance percentage and gcse grades. For dd1 gcse grades did matter as she is now applying for a very competitive and academic course at university and yes they do look at gcse results. They are massively over subscribed so looking for reasons to knock you off the list. Really annoys me when people airily spout gcse grades “don’t matter”. They really do for some life choices.

Bloody hell! Not to you, maybe.

I’d say it depends on whether you’re more bothered about gcse results or making memories. If it was me personally I’d let her take the trip and just deal with everything else when the time comes.

Exactly this, they follow you round forever and unless you flat out fail English/Maths people don't retake them. Even missing 10 days of the start of year 11 is insane to me. And sets a bad precedent e.g. if DD gets into uni would she think she doesn't need to attend the first few weeks when they teach all the research skills, library specific stuff etc? Really bad decision even if understandable that DD wants to do the trip. Disney is really not 'once in a lifetime' enough to risk the GCSEs

Gobsmacking.

Secondary school maths teacher here. For what it’s worth,I’m always surprised when kids miss time during year 11 to go on holiday when they get loads of time off after their exams! Most pupils will finish exams before end of June so could go abroad for a month when it’s still ‘during term time’ and therefore much cheaper! Why not wait until then? If a pupil missed three weeks (or even two to be honest) at the beginning of September, they’d easily be missing a whole unit in Maths, which is not easily caught up on - then there’s all the other subjects too. I’d never allow it personally - I’m a massive theme park junkie but at the age of 38 I still haven’t been to Disney World, I figure I’ll go at some point in my life (I asked to go all the time as a kid, parents could obviously not afford it)

I think this is really selfish. You're expecting her teachers to be able to teach her two weeks' worth of work that she has missed, which will take focus away from her classmates. You haven't given any consideration to the extra work you're making them do.

Three weeks is a huge amount of time off school at that age. The first few weeks are really important for setting the scene for the year ahead. For me it is a definite no.

When did "making memories" become more important than making decent progress educationally AND preparing to make a living?

The inability to resist short-term gratification instead of focusing on long-range goals is a hallmark of people who won't be economically stable or upwardly mobile. There is no reason a 14-year-old child needs to be handed "a trip of a lifetime" in lieu of attending school.

The fine would worry me less than a whopping 3 weeks missed out of the start of GCSEs - sorry, but she's unlikely to be able to catch that up. Teachers will be too busy moving the class along to handhold her. Most of the curriculum is covered in year 10, which she'd presumably be going into at 15. It moves fast at that stage.

2 years later when she's finished GCSEs would be even worse, whether she goes on to do A Levels, Btecs or an apprenticeship.

Don't do it.

10 days/two weeks is much better than 3 weeks, but still a disruption. It feels like having them start a race quite a distance behind everyone else.

We've gone through 3 lots of GCSEs. It depends on the child's personality and study skills. It's going to fall to you to support them in the catch-up. If they find studying hard, or they are aiming for very good grades, it will seem like uphill work. There will be some subjects they find much harder than others. You'd also have to hope there'd be no other illnesses/emergencies affecting their course for the rest of the term.

Ask the school to give you the work she’ll miss while she’s away so she can work on it. I think you’ll be surprised how little there is.

Yes it will also be stressful for the child if they are conscientious and they will have to face the teachers 🙄 at them.

Maybe if they a bullish “yolo” “making memories” type they won’t care but my hardworking diligent older Dd would hate it. Also they get months off from the June.

In year 10/11, you really have to hit the ground running at the start of term. 3 weeks of work is just not catch-up-able on top of the work she’ll get from school anyway. I think, fine aside, it would be too detrimental to miss that much school and would end up causing her a lot of stress. Really unfortunate that you would have to be the one to tell her no, really unnecessary from the aunt in my opinion. Just reassure her she can go another time.

I'd let her go .. but I make sure she had friends who could get her school work and help her catch up .. plus I would explain I would expect her to double down on her school work when back .. I'd also expect a fine 🤷🏻‍♀️ and maybe some private tutoring if she struggled ..

1. When will your daughter catch up the 75 or more hours of schooling that she will miss?
2. Do you expect the teachers to do extra work to make sure she isn’t disadvantaged or are you willing to hire a private tutor for each subject?

It is unbelievably selfish to put the responsibility for 'getting her school work and helping her catch up' on other teenagers. Wow. Unreal tbh!

Good luck with that.
You would be surprised how much work there is.

😂 what were we saying?!

I absolutely would not be doing this and neither would my colleagues. For a student who has been unwell, yes, but absolutely no extra for someone who has been on holiday.

School policy.

Totally agree, beanontoast! And as for expecting teachers to provide her with materials before she goes or give her extra support after she returns - even more unreal!

I would be pretty irked if the parents of my child’s friend were expecting her to tutor their kid for the 2 weeks school she missed due to her going to sodding Disney world 🙄. Fair enough if due to illness or something