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Original poster

Once in a lifetime trip - 3 weeks off school

935 replies

XMissPlacedX · 14/12/2023 20:27

My daughter has always wanted to go to Disney world Florida, but due to funds I've not been able to afford it. She is 14.

Her aunty who is quite well off and has a daughter the same age (my dd's cousin ) goes to Disney world Florida every 2 years and has offered to take my dd next year for 3 weeks.

The problem is it's the first 3 weeks of the school term ( September 2024). I've asked her if there was anyway of going in the summer holidays and she said it would double their cost and it would be cheaper for them to pay the school fine .

What do I do ? Do I say yes or no ? I would love for my dd to go but am not sure how much the fine would be and what impact missing that amount of school would cause.

I'm really torn

OP posts:
LaurieStrode · 15/12/2023 16:34

zingally · 15/12/2023 16:27

Honestly, I'd go without a thought.

It would be the trip of a life time, and if she's reasonably bright, she'll quickly catch up on what she's missed.

Why on earth is this considered the "trip of a lifetime" ? Florida is a hellhole, Disney is a commercial conglomerate that exists to brainwash people into spending money on plastic claptrap and environmentally destructive theme parks among other fare, and the USA is a gun-happy, misogynistic soon-to-be fascist state.

Do people really not aspire to better than this for their offspring?

Strictlymad · 15/12/2023 16:34

Let her go! Life is too short!

cardibach · 15/12/2023 16:39

Elphamouche · 14/12/2023 23:02

@cardibach Of course, and she could get hit by a car tomorrow and never do anything again.

I had 2 weeks off school every year for a family holiday, I had days off for hospital appointments every month, I had a week or so off each year following an asthma attack caused by a chest infection. Every. Single. Year.

I then (funnily enough at Disneyland Paris) had a seizure, out of the blue. Never had one before, luckily have never had one again (though I know the warning signs and that’s happened 3x since). But that resulted in me dropping an A Level, and missing 8 weeks of my other subjects.

I went to uni 5 months later, I passed years 1 and 2 with flying colours, I had a breakdown in year 3 due to having to work full time and study. I still passed my degree. I’ve worked full time since the age of 18, I have a mortgage, a loving husband and a baby on the way.

3 weeks on holiday missing school does not ruin your life.

Edited

Pretty sure nobody has said it will ruin her life. Just that it will make her GCSEs harder than they need be and perhaps affect her grades - which I’m sure you’ll agree is the case.

Lordofmyflies · 15/12/2023 16:41

I wouldn't let her go. It's too long to take out of school imo, Disney is over-rated anyway, she has the rest of her life to go if she does view it as a trip of a life time.
If you let her fly back early, make sure she has assistance. US airport and security are not as helpful and friendly as other countries and I found them to be quite aggressive and sharp in their manner.

Onlinecaroline · 15/12/2023 16:41

Let her go. She’ll remember it forever. As a teacher I truly believe she’ll catch up. Especially the first few weeks of term when it’s a lot of revision and settling in.

cardibach · 15/12/2023 16:42

Cosyblankets · 14/12/2023 23:07

I think the point this poster is making is that in a class of 30 you're not getting the teacher's full attention for an hour. Not that they're not an expert.

Show quote history

I didn’t say they did. I said they got an hour of expert tuition. You get that in a lecture hall with 100 at university too.

webs1991 · 15/12/2023 16:43

I’m a teacher and I say let her go she can always catch up they are only this young once there’s no harm

cardibach · 15/12/2023 16:46

Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic · 14/12/2023 23:11

Haha. The teachers may be experts (questionable in some cases but I’ll bite) but each individual student isn’t getting 5 hours of expert tuition each day and you know it.
“missing out on class discussions” Oh no!
A decent tutor and a flipped classroom approach and she’ll be grand in a few hours.
The controlled assessment may be an issue but I’d have thought the majority was signed off in y10 and y11 was mainly a catch up now. We start in Y9.

I’ll back out now….i home Ed my own and you’ve been teaching almost as long as I’ve been alive 🤷🏼‍♀️ and I don’t plan on teaching as a career.

Show quote history

So you teach home ed? And don’t really have recent experience in the classroom?
No, they won’t get 1-1 expert attention, but they are still getting expert tuition. A bit of flipped learning will in no way make up for it - even if you had some. Without the teacher doing yet more work you won’t have.

Isthisreasonable · 15/12/2023 16:47

My ex asked about taking dd out of school for a single week in Yr11. Was told by school the fine would be up to £1k per parent. He changed his mind very rapidly.

Why can't they go between finish of GCSEs and the end of summer term?

RampantIvy · 15/12/2023 16:48

Why can't they go between finish of GCSEs and the end of summer term?

This is when I took DD.

cardibach · 15/12/2023 16:48

Cosyblankets · 14/12/2023 23:14

The benefit of class discussion?
I'm a language teacher. Currently tutoring two y11 pupils privately. Both in different schools. in school they're doing speaking tests. These take about 10 to 15 min each. While the teacher is doing those the rest of the class are doing revision. They take forever. You can guess at the quality of revision that's being done.
You cannot compare one to one lessons with classes of 30. They're in mixed ability according to where they chose their options if they're in an option class so grade 9s in with grade 3s etc.

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They do take ages, yes, but not a full 3 weeks of study in all your subjects. I agree you can’t compare 1-1 with classroom study. Each have their advantages and disadvantages. In any case I don’t think the OP is proposing getting tutoring in all the subjects to catch her daughter up. How would there even be time for that?

Maireas · 15/12/2023 16:49

Onlinecaroline · 15/12/2023 16:41

Let her go. She’ll remember it forever. As a teacher I truly believe she’ll catch up. Especially the first few weeks of term when it’s a lot of revision and settling in.

What? Settling in? Nope. Revision? Only if you can squeeze some in at the end of the course!
No secondary school has the luxury of "settling in". There is a Specification to teach and you need to get through the content.

Maireas · 15/12/2023 16:50

I think some people don't realise what GCSEs actually entail...

Tiredalwaystired · 15/12/2023 16:51

LuckySantangelo35 · 15/12/2023 15:46

@whateveryouwantmetosay

i don’t think much learning is gonna happen in a theme park either. Certainly nothing that can help her progress in her life. Which is what year 11 is all about - getting what you need to progress to the next steps in life.

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That’s what I meant. The previous poster said not all learning is in the classroom. But if they aren’t in the classroom and aren’t learning anything of value on holiday then that argument is null.

Cosyblankets · 15/12/2023 16:53

cardibach · 15/12/2023 16:42

I didn’t say they did. I said they got an hour of expert tuition. You get that in a lecture hall with 100 at university too.

Show quote history

In an hour with a private tutor there are no distractions. There is none of this....
I don't have a pen
Miss he's just hit me
Johnny take your coat off
Jane put your phone away
Miss can I go to the toilet?
I don't have my homework
Peter why are you late again?
Amy can you put your hairbrush away.
Miss my laptop isn't working
Miss I can't log on
Miss I forgot my password.
Miss I can't do this because i didn't read the chapter.
......
So therefore you get through so much more work in much less time. So therefore you don't need anything like the amount of hours that you do in school.

RampantIvy · 15/12/2023 16:53

I agree @Maireas.
How many of the teachers on here who say it's OK teach maths or any of the science GCSEs? These subjects require the basics before you can build on them.

It's easier to catch up with humanities and arts subjects.

You and I have the same priorities @TizerorFizz

Tiredalwaystired · 15/12/2023 16:54

But the tutor won’t be an expert in all GCSE subjects. So you’ll need multiple tutors to catch up.

cardibach · 15/12/2023 16:57

XelaM · 15/12/2023 01:42

In the beginning of the year they go over last year's stuff anyway.

No they don’t.
The GCSE specifications are so big now (thanks Gove) that schools are often scrambling to finish in time. No time is wasted in GCSE years. There’ll be some recall work every lesson, of course, to ensure the students don’t forget everything.

Teledeluxe · 15/12/2023 16:58

Agree

Maireas · 15/12/2023 16:59

RampantIvy · 15/12/2023 16:53

I agree @Maireas.
How many of the teachers on here who say it's OK teach maths or any of the science GCSEs? These subjects require the basics before you can build on them.

It's easier to catch up with humanities and arts subjects.

You and I have the same priorities @TizerorFizz

To be honest, @RampantIvy , you'd struggle to keep up with any subject, as we know, the skills builders are important. I think it's probably difficult if people haven't been in schools for many years and think things are still laissez-faire and you have the luxury of "settling in"! Anyway.
All the data backs up the direct link between attendance and outcomes.
However, every year parents take students out for weeks. Nothing we can do.

Crikeyme · 15/12/2023 17:00

Inset days are generally staff training days, days where we do an inventory of resources, sort out the classrooms which have usually taken a total hammering by then etc. Strike days are rare, and are a last-ditch effort to get the government to find education, and educators, to a level that gives children and parents a better experience of school.

I know you’re clearly not the type to complain about staff having those, but many people have no concept of the difference of the whole school having their lessons put back a day, and then continuing to learn together, and one child missing everything for three weeks and being completely clueless and out of their depth when they can’t catch up with the rest of the class. Teachers shouldn’t be expected to help one child make up work they’ve missed for a holiday, when they’re dealing with so many additional needs on a daily basis already.

cardibach · 15/12/2023 17:02

edgeware · 15/12/2023 08:53

To be honest I would let her go, and if I felt very guilty pay for a few tutoring sessions to catch her up.

You think you can catch up 3 weeks (or even 2) work in all her subjects with ‘a few tutoring sessions’? Really?

CoffeeCantata · 15/12/2023 17:03

I have only read half the thread, OP, but I think you are getting good advice from most PPs: please don't do this.

It's just horrible to miss the beginning of the school year - and especially for a GCSE year. And it's not just the first couple of days (which frankly would be bad enough). I remember we were stuck in France one year (petrol crisis) and got back 2 days late. The teachers really gave me a hard time and both my children felt disorientated for some considerable time and that was Y4 and Y6!

It all boils down to how much you value your daughter's education and how ambitious she is academically or eventually, professionally. GCSEs set the tone for everything which comes afterwards and when applying to universities (or elsewhere) those results will be important.

If she's average academically, then she'll really struggle and if she's very able, it might just stop her getting the top grades.

And (as an ex-teacher) please, please don't even think about asking the school to somehow make up the deficit her absence will create - they will be annoyed enough at the problems it will cause both her and them. They cannot be seen to support a decision to take 3 weeks off in these circumstances.

There will be other opportunities to go to Disney if that's really what she is so determined to do.

RampantIvy · 15/12/2023 17:05

I think it's probably difficult if people haven't been in schools for many years

I agree @Maireas. All the anecdata from posters who sat GCSEs years ago is irrelevant. DD sat hers in 2016, and I know that she would have been extremely anxious about missing three weeks of teaching, and this was before they were reformed. GCSE content is much greater now than when DD took her GCSEs

Teledeluxe · 15/12/2023 17:10

My kids went to Florida Disney one year. It was indeed a “trip of a lifetime” in that they were so impressed that they never wanted to go back again.