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Original poster

Once in a lifetime trip - 3 weeks off school

935 replies

XMissPlacedX · 14/12/2023 20:27

My daughter has always wanted to go to Disney world Florida, but due to funds I've not been able to afford it. She is 14.

Her aunty who is quite well off and has a daughter the same age (my dd's cousin ) goes to Disney world Florida every 2 years and has offered to take my dd next year for 3 weeks.

The problem is it's the first 3 weeks of the school term ( September 2024). I've asked her if there was anyway of going in the summer holidays and she said it would double their cost and it would be cheaper for them to pay the school fine .

What do I do ? Do I say yes or no ? I would love for my dd to go but am not sure how much the fine would be and what impact missing that amount of school would cause.

I'm really torn

OP posts:
cardibach · 14/12/2023 22:44

letstrythatagain · 14/12/2023 22:17

Don't understand the comments around it not being once in a lifetime at all! Surely that depends on individual circumstances. May not be once in a lifetime to you but when your a single parents who definitely can't and never will be able to afford this for your child then this is absolutely once in a lifetime!!

You’re also saying the young person will never earn enough to take themselves though. Which if they get better exams, they probably will…
Plus I think ‘once in a lifetime’ carries a suggestion of it enhancing life, nit just being a bit of fun.

cardibach · 14/12/2023 22:45

whengodwasarabbit1 · 14/12/2023 22:20

I would let her go. She will learn more from the experience than she would at school. I would sit down with her though and explain she will have to work extra hard on her return back. Maybe get some after school tuition in place for a couple of months after?

What exactly will she be learning from a trip to Disney/other parks?

mondaytosunday · 14/12/2023 22:46

Three weeks at DisneyWorld? I'd say they'll exhaust it in a long weekend. She doesn't need to go for three weeks.

TommyNever · 14/12/2023 22:46

Can't help chuckling at the posters who say they wouldn't want to go to Disney World Florida, so this girl who does want to go shouldn't go either. 😂

Cantbeardarknights · 14/12/2023 22:47

squidgybits · 14/12/2023 22:39

@RampantIvy Yes, he was at a school not teaching English till he got back from America so in many peoples eyes it was important that he stayed and missed out on literally the holiday of a lifetime. He caught up and excelled and I trusted that he would. What they learn in 3 weeks could be caught up in less than a week. I would do it again and for longer, his education did not suffer and he is very successful and sociable with very high profile people in his career, he did not earn this in a dingy classroom with lots of kids at different levels and the teacher struggling to move these levels forward
Life is for living
I say all those against are jealous or ignorant of opportunities in life

He was 7 that’s entirely different to taking a child out in gcse years for 3 weeks. Nobody is jealous, most of us probably have had children going through years 10 and 11 and it’s not a case of just catching up and missing whole topics can mean that they’re left with big gaps in GCSE learning, not 7 year old learning, that they never get round to catching up on and it affects their grades. I’d be seriously pissed off if my child missed a higher grade by a couple of marks because they missed that topic and didn’t get the marks for it all for Mickey Mouse and then they couldn’t do the topic for A levels

And yes, it could do because the school has a lot to cover. It’s ENTIRELY different to taking a primary child out.

cardibach · 14/12/2023 22:47

Lydia777 · 14/12/2023 22:24

I am an English teacher....

Then you’ll know she can’t catch up ‘coursework’ because it doesn’t exist. It’s controlled assessment, done in class at the time the teacher/school designate. Doing it before/after is massively problematic.

CagneyAndLazy · 14/12/2023 22:48

cardibach · 14/12/2023 22:41

It’s this sort of student it’ll make the most difference for. Those 4s and 5s open doors, and students struggling to get to them will not catch up.

Show quote history

Completely agree.

A friend's 17yo missed her maths and English GCSEs by 1 grade each which scuppered her first-choice college course and meant she's got an extra year to do now for no good reason. She was capable but my friend didn't think she should be pushed in her final school year.🙄

TizerorFizz · 14/12/2023 22:49

Go after A levels, before uni starts. She will
have earned it then.

My DDs school organised school exchanges for a term in y9. DDs both went to South Africa. It was a huge experience for them. Never went near Disney. There’s more to life than Disney.

Do schools remove dc from the roll these days? It used to be 3 weeks was the limit.

AllyCart · 14/12/2023 22:50

Lydia777 · 14/12/2023 22:24

I am an English teacher....

That made me laugh; I'm sure it's a typo...

WilmaWonka · 14/12/2023 22:50

XMissPlacedX · 14/12/2023 22:31

It's once in a lifetime for her as she has wanted to go since she was little. Plus I'm a single mum ( work full time) and would never be able to afford to send her myself.

They are doing 10 days at Disney and then the rest of it they spend travelling elsewhere ( not sure of the plans yet) so it won't be 3 whole weeks at Disney.

I am aware of the possible effect on her studies, which is why I'm posting here saying I'm really torn. On the flip side I have seen it written on her Christmas list since she was 6.

Genuinely appreciative of the helpful comments here, Thankyou

My parents took my DD on the trip of a lifetime to Las Vegas/California for 4 weeks at a similar age. We could never had afforded to go as a family (2 much younger DC and me a SAHM due to one having a disability). We’d taken her on big holidays including Disney Florida before we’d had the younger DC but could never afford to again. Only in the last few years have we been able to take the younger ones away.

I was so delighted she got the opportunity and she still talks about it now in her mid 20’s.

This was over the summer holidays so she didn’t miss any school, always 100% attendance but she still bummed her GCSE’s (highest grade was a D!) but went onto do a 3 year BTEC at college and ended up with a 2:1 Uni degree and now has a great job in a London firm earning much more than most of her peers.

Moral of the story is, if she has the opportunity to realise her childhood dream, let her take it, make her do as much as can to mitigate the time off school before and afterwards, and it’ll probably be absolutely fine in the great scheme of things.

cardibach · 14/12/2023 22:50

Cosyblankets · 14/12/2023 22:28

Don't be ridiculous
One to one tuition is far more intensive than one to 30 in a class. I've done both. I get loads more done with one than i did with 30. Surely that's not hard to see!

Show quote history

I’ve done both too. It’s more intensive, yes, but you lose the benefit of class discussion. Halve the cost then if you think it’s nuts. Between £937.50 and £1500.

cardibach · 14/12/2023 22:51

Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic · 14/12/2023 22:29

😂😂😂 lol….how many hours of expert tuition. I’m a teacher a this made me rofl.
There’s no way she’s getting 5 hours a day of expert tuition in school. A tutor could help her make up the lost hours in an hour or two per subject easy.
1 on 1 is so much more efficient.

Show quote history

I’ve been a teacher since 1988. all my colleagues have been experts. If yours haven’t, I suggest you choose jobs more carefully.

RampantIvy · 14/12/2023 22:53

Because I value education I never sent my kids to school.

Because I value education I could never have provided the education DD received at school. She achieved mostly A* at GCSE, As at A level and graduated last year with a first class STEM degree.

I realise that not all children suit school, but it worked for DD.

Livelifelaughter · 14/12/2023 22:53

It's hardly a once in a life time trip is it ? A trip to a theme park, sorry it has scant educational value, it's basically a free holiday.
I would be interested to see a teacher's view on this.
How do you expect your daughter to catch up ?.- do you think the teachers should give her extra coaching?
Do you really think there's not other parents who would rather do things in term time because it's cheaper but don't.
I can't actually understand why you are even considering this, it's in term so that to me would be an automatic no.

notmorezoom · 14/12/2023 22:53

First three weeks of the academic year in presumably year 11 or 12? For Disney? Of course not. I'm amazed that any parent with even a passing interest in their child's education would consider it.

cardibach · 14/12/2023 22:53

Elphamouche · 14/12/2023 22:32

Those saying 3 weeks is too long in Florida, are doing Florida wrong 😂.

I’d let her go. Life’s too bloody short, you never know what’s round the corner.

3 weeks over her exams, no. 3 weeks at the beginning of the year? Shit happens. She could get I’ll and be off for 3 weeks.

Edited

She could come back form 3 weeks of holiday and then get ill for 3 weeks….

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 14/12/2023 22:54

It's not a once in a lifetime trip. I've been twice and hopefully never will again.

Ask the aunt if she would be willing to delay the trip until just after DD's final exam. This would still be outside school holidays.

PaulaPocket · 14/12/2023 22:55

How is a trip to a tacky Florida holiday resort a trip of a lifetime? My cousins have been three times.

gotomomo · 14/12/2023 22:56

3 weeks, no way, anyway 3 weeks is far too long for Disney, 7-10 days is plenty. If they went straight after bank holiday Monday for 10 days they would only miss a few days of school, just about ok, but by week 2 I would not let them miss for a straightforward holiday and not for so long ever

MadCatLady27 · 14/12/2023 22:57

Absolutely not. It's not a once in a lifetime trip, she can do it with her aunt in 2 years time, or when she's an adult and can save herself to go

Start of GCSE year is far too important to miss for Disney

Idtotallybangdreamoftheendlessnotgonnalie · 14/12/2023 22:58

Let her go, but maybe get her a tutor over the summer to get a head start in her weaker core subjects?

Calliopespa · 14/12/2023 22:59

PaulaPocket · 14/12/2023 22:55

How is a trip to a tacky Florida holiday resort a trip of a lifetime? My cousins have been three times.

🥴A bit baffled by that juxtaposition. Are your cousins the epitome of tacky or something?

WilmaWonka · 14/12/2023 22:59

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 14/12/2023 22:54

It's not a once in a lifetime trip. I've been twice and hopefully never will again.

Ask the aunt if she would be willing to delay the trip until just after DD's final exam. This would still be outside school holidays.

Yes but you’re not 14.

I’m pretty sure it’s much more expensive in June than September (haven’t checked for a while) and busier because US and European schools are out. I’m sure the aunt has considered this which is why she goes in September.

Duckeggbluebutton · 14/12/2023 23:00

This is not once in a lifetime trip. I would not jeopardise my child's education for a trip to Disneyland. Surely she is too old? You should have shut this down immediately.

Elphamouche · 14/12/2023 23:02

@cardibach Of course, and she could get hit by a car tomorrow and never do anything again.

I had 2 weeks off school every year for a family holiday, I had days off for hospital appointments every month, I had a week or so off each year following an asthma attack caused by a chest infection. Every. Single. Year.

I then (funnily enough at Disneyland Paris) had a seizure, out of the blue. Never had one before, luckily have never had one again (though I know the warning signs and that’s happened 3x since). But that resulted in me dropping an A Level, and missing 8 weeks of my other subjects.

I went to uni 5 months later, I passed years 1 and 2 with flying colours, I had a breakdown in year 3 due to having to work full time and study. I still passed my degree. I’ve worked full time since the age of 18, I have a mortgage, a loving husband and a baby on the way.

3 weeks on holiday missing school does not ruin your life.

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