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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask any teachers what end of term presents they really want

246 replies

Applebyapples · 13/12/2023 16:17

I always dread buying end of term presents for my children's teachers...not because I begrudge the money, but because I don't know what to get and imagine they always end up with a load of knick-knacks and chocolate they don't really want, or wine when they don't drink. So to save me from the angst this year, if you're a teacher, what end of term presents would you choose for a budget of around £10?

OP posts:
Mazuslongtoenail · 15/12/2023 19:06

OnAir · 13/12/2023 17:03

Are we really supposed to get the teachers something after every term. Not being funny but fuck that. I don't get gifts every 7 weeks at work. End of year yeah maybe if they have been supportive.

The way I see it is that this person has a huge impact on my child’s life. They work hard to make it enjoyable and help them learn and grow. I’m enormously grateful.

And when I compare £10 at Christmas to show my appreciation to the £76 a day that I have to spend on nursery, it seems like a good deal!

But, as this thread shows, it seems it’s never expected and is an optional gesture for those that want to and can afford it.

BananaSplitsss · 15/12/2023 19:08

Rocksonabeach · 14/12/2023 21:11

Nicest present ever was an insulated camping rucksack for food to go in a normal rucksack but I’m involved with doing the D of E and give up most of my Easter to do it. One pupil noticed my sandwiches etc were always warm as I never ate them until about 3 pm, another child in that D of E group gave the dog a lovely portable dog bed for the minibus made out of his mums blankets that she wasn’t using - I love that bed!! I have a black lab and providing all the kids and parents are happy he comes with us.

I also had a lovely parent notice a dent in my car and he was a car body portable fixer guy and said ‘do you mind if you sort your dent as a thank you’ - that was pretty high up the top.

I keep every single letter and card from kids and parents though and my favourite one says ‘Miss, every time I couldn’t, you said maybe you can’t but WE can together. Every time I cried you gave me a tissue and said ‘I’m on your team you aren’t on your own’. Every time I doubted myself you nodded and said that’s why I’m here. I wasn’t alone in my gcse exam - you were there beside me saying deep breath, read the paper, read the question. What are they asking, underline the key words, imagine your subject hat on your head and use your subject words. I said I can get a C and you said A - you are right, I was wrong. I love you, Olivia’ it’s a heartfelt scruffy plain card and I love it and sits on my desk and reminds me why I do my job.

That. Is gorgeous ❤️

Teachertired92 · 15/12/2023 19:14

I’ve had 2 really great gifts. One was a card from the parents, telling me how thankful they were that I taught their child and a general thanks. The other was a book that a child had read and enjoyed, and thought I would enjoy too

ManchesterLu · 15/12/2023 19:22

Personally I can never get enough white wine and chocolate (although you'd have to know what they drink), but things like supermarket/coffee/takeaway vouchers would go down well.

PrimoPiatti · 15/12/2023 19:51

Presents for teachers?

For what?

For doing their job?

When did this start?

I'm guessing it's yet another US import.

YourWinter · 15/12/2023 19:53

Gift card, for M&S or John Lewis.

Curioushorse · 15/12/2023 19:56

Right. I got some brilliant presents this year.

  1. A large drawing of a stone, which one of the students has made a small comic book character and draws on every piece of work I mark.
  2. A 'voodoo doll' made out of toilet rolls and paper. A Year 11 child has made it of himself and says I should stick pins in it when he's annoying.
  3. An origami Christmas tree made by two girls.

I LOVE them all and will keep them until they decay.

All were made by students.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 15/12/2023 20:00

Presents for teachers? For what? For doing their job? When did this start? I'm guessing it's yet another US import.

Piffle. It's been at least a bit of a thing since I was at school. I'm 52. It's continued to be a thing all the time I've been a teacher. It's not compulsory, nor expected by teachers. And I really don't think it's 'yet another US import'. But I see the rampant MN anti-American nastiness continues.

Willyoujust · 15/12/2023 20:01

I agree that teachers don’t expect gifts. A handwritten card expressing appreciation is the best thing you could give. If you did want to buy a gift then a box of chocolates, bottle of wine or bubble bath would go down a treat in this house :) It’s lovely of you to think of buying a gift for them and I know it will make their day :) x

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 15/12/2023 20:01

2. A 'voodoo doll' made out of toilet rolls and paper. A Year 11 child has made it of himself and says I should stick pins in it when he's annoying.

OMG that's amazing Grin

CeruleanSal · 15/12/2023 20:03

My favourite things were always just cards with a message written by the student, like actually thanking me for specific things. When I did receive gifts I didn’t mind the chocolate stash that would get me through to February at all! Quite happy with that. Similarly I got some excellent personalised mugs relating to in jokes with our lessons (I teach secondary) that I treasure, but agree the standard “thank you teacher” mugs/paraphernalia is not good.
I also don’t drink and didn’t really like getting wine etc… as much as I could regift it. One year a student had listened and handed me an empty bottle of wine because I don’t drink (alongside another gift) 😂 I found that funny and enjoyed that.

AndromacheAstyanax · 15/12/2023 20:04

At my son’s school, parents were sent a message about the school’s strict policy on alcohol, threatening immediate sanctions for any child found with any alcohol on them. The message continued ‘An exception is made for gifts for teachers’.

As a teacher I expect no gifts, receive a
few, value these gratefully (wine/ chocs are nice) but think nothing less of those children (the majority) who don’t give.

Cards are lovely to receive.

sparkedsparkle · 15/12/2023 20:13

Best gifts I've recieved have been
Polish chocolate
Next gift card
Keyring trinket
Hamper (from x3 families the children were All were cousins) containing bottle of wine, posh juice, malteasers, fudge, biscuits, grapes, strawberries and Tyrell's crisps)

Completelydonechick · 15/12/2023 20:24

I was never lucky enough to receive this, but at my child’s school, everyone put in a tenner and got gift vouchers for teacher and assistants. It meant they had £100 pounds in vouchers, flowers, wine etc! Then they could spend it on what they really wanted. Just needed someone to organise it 😉

Cielovista · 15/12/2023 21:11

I’m a teacher - secondary- and we’re all completely finished at this time in the year. Wine will be very welcome. Vouchers too. Don’t bother with handmade stuff - we have to deal with all that tat all year round.

Bellie710 · 15/12/2023 21:34

I have never bought end of term gifts for teachers and personally think it is a total waste of time. What I did do was buy the teachers a gift when my kids left the school I found out their favourite drink or what they like and either bought them Gin or flowers or chocolates or whatever they wanted, we live in a very samll community so it was very easy to know what they would love.

Goodlard · 15/12/2023 21:41

Rocksonabeach · 14/12/2023 21:11

Nicest present ever was an insulated camping rucksack for food to go in a normal rucksack but I’m involved with doing the D of E and give up most of my Easter to do it. One pupil noticed my sandwiches etc were always warm as I never ate them until about 3 pm, another child in that D of E group gave the dog a lovely portable dog bed for the minibus made out of his mums blankets that she wasn’t using - I love that bed!! I have a black lab and providing all the kids and parents are happy he comes with us.

I also had a lovely parent notice a dent in my car and he was a car body portable fixer guy and said ‘do you mind if you sort your dent as a thank you’ - that was pretty high up the top.

I keep every single letter and card from kids and parents though and my favourite one says ‘Miss, every time I couldn’t, you said maybe you can’t but WE can together. Every time I cried you gave me a tissue and said ‘I’m on your team you aren’t on your own’. Every time I doubted myself you nodded and said that’s why I’m here. I wasn’t alone in my gcse exam - you were there beside me saying deep breath, read the paper, read the question. What are they asking, underline the key words, imagine your subject hat on your head and use your subject words. I said I can get a C and you said A - you are right, I was wrong. I love you, Olivia’ it’s a heartfelt scruffy plain card and I love it and sits on my desk and reminds me why I do my job.

Oh my word! What a marvellous teacher and inspiration you are.

Elspeth7 · 15/12/2023 21:57

I'm a high school teacher so we don't get many gifts- which is totally reasonable- each pupil has at least 10 teachers so it's never expected. However my fav gifts have been a coffee shop gift card and flowers. I would also love wine! I'd also recommend nice shower gel. It saves me money and its bound to be something nicer than the supermarket stuff I buy myself. Plus, surely everyone uses shower gel so it's safe.

Happilyobtuse · 15/12/2023 21:59

Please check with other parents if you can do a combined gift. This usually works out more cost effective and the teacher actually gets some nice things. At my DC’s school all the parents who want to contribute pay £10 each, and then the teacher gets John Lewis vouchers, some wine, chocolate, and some small bits. They cover the TA’s also. Much better than each parent trying to buy something.

Pigeonrific · 15/12/2023 22:17

YABU to imagine teachers might not drink

threatmatrix · 15/12/2023 22:35

Time and time again I’ve reiterate that they don’t want cups etc. I got all the mothers together and we all out in a tenner, cheaper for us and she was made up.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 15/12/2023 22:43

Time and time again I’ve reiterate that they don’t want cups etc.

A girl in my form gave me a lovely lidded cup today. I was delighted- my old one's getting a bit tatty.

Copkake · 15/12/2023 23:32

For DD's private school we all put in £20 x 20 kids and the teacher ends up with a card and £400 JL voucher at Christmas and then again at the end of the year.

At DD2s state school everyone does their own Christmas presents but there is a collection at the end of the year for a voucher but usually only comes to £150.

Zoda8 · 15/12/2023 23:47

It’s inevitably pot luck because every teacher has such different tastes. From an entirely personal viewpoint, I would start by saying I have absolutely zero expectation of a present or a card from any child - I am paid to teach the children in my class and I chose the job because I like it. Some pupils aren’t provided with a card by their parents, but want to make one themselves with classroom material. Here there is a difference - as I know my pupils, I know when a pupil has tried really hard to write neatly, to spell my name right, to colour inside the lines and think of a nice picture and a kind message. ‘Yore the beast techer’ scrawled across a scruffily bent bit of A4 confirms to me I have some work still to do. Although a card written by Mum is appreciated, I would rather have a mispelt slightly scruffy one from the pupil, because I like to think they have engaged personally in the ‘thank you’ process. Some people can’t get enough chocolate, but I am getting fat and 10kg of chocolate every August and December doesn’t help me. I still really appreciate such gifts, but I discretely share them with the hard working ‘backstage’ staff like cleaners and caretakers, and would like to think parents would be OK with me doing this. Alcohol is always welcome and as a consumable it doesn’t accumulate and become clutter. Mugs that are cute/personalised/have a lovely picture or message I can always make room for by retiring chipped or faded ones. Now and again there is a very special personalised gift from a pupil who has really loved being in my class - something artistic, or very personal like a professionally made work of art or themed cuff links or an engraved guitar pick. I would be slightly overwhelmed if everyone gave me such gifts every year - the rarity adds to the specialness. Without doubt though, by far and away the best present a child and their parents can give me is to enjoy/support their learning, to be polite, to smile, to listen, to use a quiet speaking voice indoors when speaking to one person who is sitting right next to them, to be kind to their classmates and help them with their learning. Having pupils like that and supportive parents makes for a far more joyous job than any presents you could imagine. So I guess my advice after all that is don’t overthink it, because whilst nice, in my view there are far more important things to worry about!

waterrat · 16/12/2023 03:10

I find this whole discussion shows so many people not thinking of cost of living

In my childs v ordinary primary there are children where even 5 pound would be coming out of a small family food budget

I truly believe gifts should be banned beyond card etc

At some points ive seen collections for teachers and ta staff thst end up with high value vouchers for each...it must feel so horroble for some families to see the teacher get more than they would even be able to spend on their own child

Do people understand what poverty really means.