To think less of people who send these Christmas cards

[Bananacup]

... to have absolutely no interest in Christmas cards that say 'Merry Christmas from [Sender]'

And that's all

Literally no other message.

You've taken the time to post me a picture of a tree, but you've written no personal message whatsoever? Makes me feel like I'm a box on your to-do list, like the worst kind of business networking. It would have been better to send nothing at all. Just don't bother if you literally have nothing personal or interesting to say.

And about 90% of the Christmas cards I receive are like this!

I have a friend whose father insists on a) cards that are not like any he's been sent before b) cards with a poem or message printed inside that are meaningful and tell him how wonderful he is and c) have a handwritten message of absolute personal heartfelt wishes for his happy birthday/Christmas.

This drives her to utter despair every year, trying to remember what she has already sent in the last four or five years (so it won't just be the same as he's already had; he gets massively sulky about that), with a poem or message that's not too flowery (because he'd think that insincere) but is emotional and meaningful and then she has to think about what to write (which can't be what she wrote last year or she'd be 'insincere and copying' and he'd sulk about that).

Quite honestly I'd just send him any old garbage and tell him to think himself lucky he's got someone to send him any cards at all, but no, she spends hours in card shops and online. Just think, OP, would you want everyone who sends you a card to put in effort that might cause them to resent you as much as she resents her dad?

Except the time and thought to realise your birthday is coming up, to choose and purchase a card, to write the card (including checking your address) and get it to a postbox...

I’ve got news for you, it literally is a box I’ve got to tick. Soz.

I'd rather that than the tedious round robin bragging type of card.

Are all of your cards hand selected, or hand made, with a heartfelt and considered note in each for the recipient then? 🤔

Ouch. I wrote 4 cards last night, 2 for family in the US, 1 for a friend in the US and 1 for a friend in Spain.
I wrote a personal sentence in each of them.
I have many friends, a large family and a full time job. It took me about 15 minutes to do all 4 and another 10 to send them this morning.

Just because you don't choose to spend your free time in this way at this time of year doesn't mean you need to sneer at others that do.

A dying tradition due to costs and climate issues so be grateful they are still sending you one. I do not have time to write more than a couple of lines.

We had categories - those who we are thinking of and we want them to know so send a card, those we are thinking of and feel more close to get a card and a message and family and very close friends gets the card and essay (though they likely know everything in the essay anyway)😁

Thinking less of them feels a bit far to be honest. It's a gesture, you've been thought of and it's not as though cards and stamps are free of charge. I don't think it needs to be made into anything deep.

I do often put longer messages in cards and like writing letters but don't see a need to do it to everyone. There are some people I I like to pop a card just to let them know I'm quite literally thinking of them at Xmas and wishing them a good Christmas. What more needs to be said in those circumstances. If I wanted to catch up further or get into chit chat I would simply call them or meet them.

It's a Christmas greetings card, not a statement about your value.

I don’t understand what it is you actually want (I don’t really understand your opening sentence tbh). Do you mean they just sign their name and nothing else or they put your name and their name but nothing else?

I think this is like some people's approach to giving. Is it about the person sending or the person receiving?

What is the purpose of sending someone a card? Presumably to show them that you are thinking of them? If they think receiving an impersonal card with "From Sarah" in doesn't demonstrate this, then the sender is not achieving their aim. Saying "but you must appreciate my card because I spent all this time buying it, choosing it, writing it and posting it" makes it all about the card sender, not the receiver.

Maybe the person would rather you didn't spend all that time because they can't see the point of cards (and possibly feel guilty about the sustainability issues) and instead rang them up for a quick chat? Or even just sent them a personal message?

Is it not enough for you that they had you in their thoughts and took time out of their day to write and send the card?

It's a gesture, you've been thought of

Yes, thought in the lines of 'Oh FFS I have 2 billion things to do already and now also this list of 200 people I've got to send cards to..'

If you were on my Christmas card list I’d take you off it with that attitude! I’d prefer to send you no card at all.

Better than those cringey round Robin thingies 🤮

It must be exhausting to be you.

The cost of cards and stamps YABU.

Think of the way you receive them, not the way they have been sent. The fault is with you, not the sender

Are you always so negative?

But yes not a letter... It's just to wish people merry Christmas...

Well if you’re the type of person who doesn’t appreciate cards, doesn’t want them, doesn’t care to be thought of perhaps you could let your nearest and dearest know so they don’t waste any time on you. Im
personally happy to receive any note through the post that’s not a bill. ( I don’t even mind round robins)

I guess the card itself is the nice gesture, but when my uncle and his wife used to send us one without our names in, or Merry Christmas, in which the only words were 'Best wishes, uncle name and aunty name', it did feel like there was a secondary message implied...

Which OP would likely be grateful for by the sounds of things, especially if you do what they’re talking about.

Who in the name of Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the wee donkey has time to write a personalised message in every Christmas card! If you start being sneery about this you simply won’t get any (or you’ll just get those horrific e-cards which can fuck off).

Or worse, people will do those family missives on an a4 sheet- and who wants any more of those fuckers!

I think perhaps Op and many posters have lots of friends and family. I don't, because I have moved around a lot and lost touch. I would be thrilled to bits if i got actual Xmas cards from people who have thought of me and taken the trouble to go to the post office ( who does, these days?).

I'm just realistic. When people on this thread have posted that it's a tick in the box exercise and something they've got to do, so don't expect anything more - it does not sound like they really take their time to think fondly about each recipient and send them warm wishes during this holiday time..