MIL took 3yo shopping for his own Christmas presents

[Oceanaway]

My MIL took my 3yo son Christmas shopping today and bought him the toys he chose, packed them in to the car and brought them home with him. They're just sitting out in her house where he can easily find them. She's very kind wanting to spoil him like that but I go to so much trouble to make Christmas time magical, he never sees his presents before Christmas, he doesn't know what he's getting, I use leave to do shopping without the kids and stay up late getting things wrapped and hidden. Apparently she did the same thing last year too. I feel like she's ruining the magic, he's so little but so switched on. Do I say something? I'm kind of heartbroken that he saw his gifts get bought 2 years running. He's so full of Santa and Christmas magic this year, and this really isn't the way we wanted to do it.
For context, he does know that Santa doesn't bring everything, he knows the wrapped gifts under the tree are from friends and family, but I feel the magic lies in the mystery and the surprise.

How you’re treating your DS is lovely and will completely make Christmas magical. His DGrandmother won’t spoil the magic for him, it’s just another way of showing love. She sounds very loving and generous, cherish her as some grandparents can’t be bothered.

YABU and a bit precious, there will be plenty of magic on the day and would have likely forgotten some of what she bought him anyway.

Your DS’s grandmother took him shopping and bought him things he wants for Christmas? Unforgivable! Off with her head! 🙄

Here’s a grip for you OP //

I'm usually not on the side of the MIL but even this is ridiculous for me. If it was gifts that were supposed to be from Santa I'd say fair enough - but she's not given him them early, she's not ruined anything she's literally just let him have a say in what she is buying him with her own money.

You are being ridiculous

I'm with you OP, MIL should respect your wishes on what he's been led to believe for Christmas
I don't see any harm in him choosing obviously but does slightest ruin the magic of it all

This. You can't control what other people do. Just focus on your own traditions. What other people do won't affect them at all.

If he's anything like mine he'll forget and then suddenly remember when he unwraps them, and might be even more excited because of the fun memory of picking it out with grandma. It will fine! Maybe ask her in a nice way not to do it again next year though, it's not a big deal but you want it to be special and that's fine too.

Of course she is not spoiling the magic of Christmas by spending quality time with him, giving him an opportunity to show grandma the toys he likes, seeing grandma buy them, looking forward to unwrapping the presents he knows he is going to get from grandma! That’s just another kind of magic. It’s different from the magic of surprises. But it is still a magical experience.

But do you know what might spoil the Christmas magic? Being annoyed and having negative feelings towards his grandma. Don’t do that. The magical part of Christmas is the love and generosity we show one another. And your MIL absolutely nailed it.

I think this is a lovely thing for mil to do. There are too many families on here that don't recieve things off thier in laws or have a fractured relationship but this isn't one of them, your child has just got a lovely gran who wants to spoil them.on the plus side for mil too the toys will definitely get played with as they were chosen by the child and not just wasted.

But she hasn't undermined what he's been led to believe? He knows Santa brings some gifts and that family members give others. The only difference is this year he's actually been able to choose something himself for grannies gift so she knows her money is well spent.

Ffs it's not like she told him Santa doesn't exist. She's let him pick his present. That was probably a really fun thing for him to do. This could be their Christmas tradition now. You're being precious & unreasonable.

He's already got mystery and surprise from your presents. Her way is equally fine, and it will do him no harm to see that different people do things differently. She sounds lovely, don't make trouble for no reason.

I think it is lovely that she spent time with him, let him choose his own present . This is how proper memories are made. Why would you want to ruin something so lovely?

I agree with PPs. He already knows that family gift gifts so nothing has been ruined. Plus, I think you can have all the magic of Xmas without it all being about Santa and what he brings. There's a real appreciation that comes with kids knowing where their gifts come from, in my opinion. Isn't it better for his to know that he's being spoilt by granny/mum/whoever that a mysterious man he's never met?! My son is 4 and is excited about Santa but generally speaking, he fills the stocking and grown ups buy 'big' gifts.

One of my earliest and fondest memories is choosing a Christmas present with my beloved grandma and being absolutely vibrating with excitement to open it on Christmas day. There's absolutely nothing unmagical about it for a little child.

So your DS gets the magic of surprises from his gifts from you/Santa/other people and from MIL he gets the magic of being taken to the toy shop and being allowed to choose what he wants?

Lucky boy!

Not clear why you want to ruin the second kind of magic for him. Jealousy?

Your "switched on 3 year old" won't be switched on enough to know or care where the presents have come from. I think it's sweet that she takes him christmas present shopping and he clearly doesn't care that he hasn't has the gifts straight away which is either forgetful or mature...

My mother takes my dd shopping every year, they make a day of it, get some lunch, mooch about the shops. My dd loves it, one of her favourite days in the festive period. I really wouldnt worry about it.

I don't understand your distress at all.
Santa brings presents paid for by Mummy and Daddy, all other presents are given by individual family members and friends in our household.

I don’t think he’ll make the connection. It d s but an annoying when you’ve worked to get all of the nice things for them & MIL can just casually splash out. But, she’s very generous to bring him shopping. My rich parents brought my 3 year old DS to Smyths for a look, then to the pound shop to choose something. She did this when we were kids as well. And she couldn’t hide her horror when I bought DD a Kinder Egg in the local shop. A waste of money… She proudly told DS knows not to bother when he’s in the shop with her!

Definitely a lucky boy.

Op you dont own Christmas nor your child

Things that are not bad are allowed to happen around your child without you controlling it

I voted that you were wrong about this. However how is it going to work once he starts picking things already bought? It might stop naturally because of this.

Sounds sensible, that way he gets exactly what he wants and no money wasted. Plus he's three and will forget ! I feel bad for your MIL.

I think that was a lovely thing to do and very sensible of his grandmother to allow your little boy a say in what he is getting. He will be excited enough to be opening the gifts at Christmas without the Santa nonsense.

Princess Diana took her two to Hamley's to choose their gifts when they were little.