Ah, I get you! It’s so easy to just think, “oh well, I’m doing a nice thing!” Only to find that it’s only ever one-sided! My friend and I were both single tons tho at the time. Yea, I ended up feeling so frustrated how she seemed to be believe she deserved more from the friends than she was willing to give, her somehow, thought she was an amazing friend, given her happy go lucky, enthusiastic demeanour. She always initiates plans and makes an effort to keep in touch. So she has good traits too. But I do think, it was partly my fault as I enabled her and she probs thought I was happy to, and was too careless to reciprocate, and generally, stingy with money, so thought she’d let it keep happening.
just decided to view it all as a personal failing on her part and an important lesson for myself very wise words, and I will remember this! Thank you
I also took it as a life lesson. Similar to you, I was a lethal people pleaser, largely due to a childhood, where so much was expected from me as a “helper,” and I was assumed it to be my role in relationships/friendships. If I didn’t jump at any opportunity to be there for others above myself, it meant I’m unkind.
However, I have finally started to realise that, this is bollocks, and starting to grow out of that mindset. Sadly, I allowed many people to walkover me, due to low self-with, and I am only resentful. I am a lot better now, and have just distanced myself from these situations. And I feel a lot more liberated to be able to acknowledge this.