What has life taught you?

[Lifelessonstoremember]

My life hasn't gone the way I hoped it would.

What have you learned about life - how to manage suffering and how to be happy?

People do not change.

Relationships should enhance your life, not make it more difficult (children excepted, obvs).

Laugh, laugh, laugh and have as much fun sex as you want. The best bits are free.

Everyone is flawed, don't respond to negativity. It is best to avoid people who may damage you, they may not understand the repercussions of their actions, however it is OK to prioritise your own well being over compromising to meet their needs. They need to fix themselves and each one of us must nurture ourselves.

1. The only person you can rely on is yourself.
2. Time heals everything.

So true. Also don't care too much about others negative opinions. If you're happy, that's what matters

No fool like an old fool

The only person that can do it is you

Don't put pressure on yourself to live a life you think you should live

Dance to the beat of your own drum. Live life the way you want to, you only get one!

It's not worth the bother

You're not here for a long time so you may as well have a good time, whilst of course being responsible and a positive member of society. Be kind and caring and most people will return that. Don't hold yourself back and stop yourself from doing things you love just because of what others may think of you. Being an adult does not mean that you have to stop enjoying so-called childish things such as kids' films and games. Be playful. Look after your body and your mental health. No-one will thank you for pushing yourself to the limit. You are replaceable at work but not to your family and friends so put them first.

Basically, everything in that song about sunscreen.

That’s health is the most precious thing.

Don't bury your head in the sand. Confront issues when they arise instead of letting them fester. The outcome is always worse. Try to be brave even when you're not feeling it.

Life can be exceptionally shit then some little nice thing happens and it doesn't seem so bad after all.

Don't waste time worrying about what others think about you. You can't control it. The people who love you will love you regardless of your flaws, you can't change those who don't and trying to do so will probably repel them further.

Don't regret things you've done: you can't change the past: all you can do is learn from it. You're far more likely to regret things you haven't done than things you've done, so take the chances.

Don't ever rely on another person for your happiness. You can't be properly loved without loving yourself. Dependence on another person will destroy your self esteem and probably push them away.

Don't rely on anyone else for money. It may solve a short-term problem but you're playing Russian Roulette with your own future.

It's a horrendous cliche, but also comparison is the thief of joy. You will never win by comparing yourself to others.

Just on the 'comparison is the thief of joy' bit, obviously it makes complete sense when you're looking upward, but it does no harm to look at those who are less fortunate and be able to be grateful for what you have.

Life can be exceptionally shit then some little nice thing happens and it doesn't seem so bad after all.
@feellikeanalien this is so true.
I do feel this often, it looks even weird sometimes how quickly my mood is changing but these little things are so powerful.

If you dwell on the bad it drags it out and stops the good stuff seeping in.
Something shit happens you deal with it and move on.

I've had some terrible shit happen in my life. I move on.

Forgive easily, but don't be taken for a fool, you can forgive but not trust someone again. Grudges are only hurting you.

Let things go. Nothing is worth dwelling on.

If you lose loved one then grow a tree or flowers they liked. I have a tree for my sibling and two rose bushes for my babies. It gives you something physical to nurture and cherish.

Growing old is a privilege and tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.

Don't ever become financially reliant on another person. It limits your options and destroys your self esteem.

FEAR - Future Events Aren't Real. Stop stressing and worrying about stuff that might never happen! Live in the moment and don't cross bridges before you come to them. Otherwise you can spend a huge amount of time making yourself miserable and anxious over something that never actually comes to pass.

Also being SELF-ish is good. Think about yourself. Prioritise self help, and focus on putting your own needs first. You would put your own oxygen mask on first in an emergency. So make sure that you think about yourself and don't just give and give and give to others.

Also like a PP said, you can't control events/people, just your reaction to them. It helped me a lot when I realised that I could control my thoughts and actions. That instead of being really hurt by something I could re-frame it as 'well that says more about them than you. They are clearly an inadequate person'.

Two things.

The sad one: the men who tell you they "can't be dealing with all the politics" - with the implication that they have risen above such petty things and that anyone who does get involved in the "politics" of a group (ie the way things are managed so that they run smoothly) is somehow lesser...

are the men who will ruin their own lives and other people's, possibly going to prison.

(Three of them now. I don't think it's coincidence.)

The happier one, realised after a few years of The Internet:

No matter what it is, it's never Just You.

Don’t believe you can control everything in your life, you can’t. I remember when younger feeling down about a lot of things that actually turned out to be for the best.

Don’t expect to be happy all the time, sometimes you’ll drag yourselves out of the house for a walk in the rain and kids will be a nightmare and wish you had never bothered, other times you’ll do the same and it will all end up being quite magical, you have to accept it could turn out either way. Just in general you might feel rubbish one day but you don’t know what will be happening or how you’ll feel in 24 hours

Also really count your blessings, obviously not talking about people who are going through awful suffering, losing a child etc but some people just seem to spend their time brooding over not being rich etc and never stopped and thought how lucky they actually are.

You can usually make anything more enjoyable, washing the dishes, put on some music etc

I always find a book or a walk usually makes me feel a bit better. Worth trying GP/counselling if feeling truly depressed

This is such beautiful advice, thank you x

Never leave it in any doubt at all that you love your loved ones. Fill your heart with the love of them
and wrap them up in it.

Stay in school and get your ologies.

Have several strings to your bow - more than one thing you can do to earn.

Don't put all your eggs in one basket - your employer is not your friend and owes you precisely one month's wages and whatever pension.

Don't breed with a man who won't marry you.

Don't stay with a maybe baby man who dangles the mirage until it's too late for you.

Don't give up your job, income, savings, pension, to look after a man's house and children - you're an unpaid servant, aka a slave held in servitude by a misplaced sense of loyalty.

The much older man may have seemed exciting and sophisticated in your 20s - it will seem very different in your 50s.

Stay away from husbands and fathers - do not steal, wreck, destroy.

The first whiff of infidelity, coercive control, violence or fetish behaviour - get out. It will get worse.

Fix it early - the toothache, the pain, the lump.

Go to your checkups and catch it early so it can be treated.

To my daughters in particular, most important life advice ever ….. never risk getting pregnant by a man you absolutely wouldn’t want to marry or who wouldn’t want to marry you tomorrow

You are the company you keep, and that life is very beautiful, despite everything.