I no longer find men my age attractive.

[Carmargo]

OK this is not meant to be a deep thread - just a light chat.
I'm perimenopausal now and prior to this I always fancied older men.
Now I'm noticing that I only fancy younger men.
I'm not talking ridiculously younger as in early twenties but guys aged around 35 to 40 (although rock stars and actors who are in reality much older than me but in their twenties when I first saw them and I was the same age are as attractive as ever e.g. someone like Johnny Depp but not him IYSWIM but not the 20-somethings I meet now).

I watched The Gold and realised that the actors who played Kenny Noye and the solicitor were gorgeous as was the gold smelter. Sorry can't recall their names.
This is reflected in real life too.
I'll look at a guy and think he's sexy and realise I'm at least ten years older.

Why is this? I used to joke about 50-something women and younger guys but I've realised my tastes have changed.

Like I said, I wonder if any other straight females here feel the same.

I admit I'm a bit depressed by it. Lol.

Are you single? If so, I'd embrace it and have some fun. I'm perimenopausal too and can't remember the last time I fancied anyone!

I always fancied older men but as I got older, the gaps between me and my partners got smaller. My current partner is only 4 years older than me and my previous was 11 years senior (and the guy before that, 16 years). So it very much seems like I am stuck at the same age.

Enjoy the fact that you fancy someone OP! Your tastes haven't changed, they're the same as they were 20 years ago 🤣

I've always liked weathered but fit men so thankfully that works at an older age range.

I am concerned for when I reach that age when I'll never have a chance with Aragorn. It will happen one day.

I never fancied older men tbh, and still don't at 52. I'm happily married, but if I find a character/actor attractive in a film etc, it's never one who's in their 50s or older.

It's probably because they haven't turned into shits yet. Give them time.

Because you are still fancying the same type of people that you were some tears ago; nothing wrong with that!

I find early thirties the most attractive (so 10 years younger than me) and have come to accept that I just find slightly older DH less physically attractive as he ages.

Yeah totally. I’m late forties and often fancy men in their thirties. I think it’s partly because my sex life has got a bit crappy, if husband didn’t spend all his free time tucked under a blanket playing on his phone I wouldn’t be noticing the muscles on the builder.

@Ardith muscles? Tell me more

I think you may be right. 35-40 is the sweet spot where men are experienced but still got youthful vigour.

Age 52 my mom was dating a 35yo guy. He was a long time friend of my brothers (!!). He totally initiated it, he still remembers her with great fondness 30 yrs later.

Gay people go across bigger age spans than straight people, and older people do, too. It's almost only straight people who get locked into thinking what age difference should be like.

Same here and I never realised till I hit my fifties how many younger men like older women! It was a revelation! Now I'm older I don't fancy anyone so make the most of it (if you're single!)

Honestly I think it’s just because lots of older men have let themselves go. I do fancy men aged 50-60 but only the rare few who have looked after themselves. The ones who are slim and fit and well groomed with good teeth. But most normal men aren’t as well kept as Tom Cruise and Hugh Jackman! They all seem to have beer bellies and don’t dye their hair or trim their eyebrows etc.

Hard same, OP! I've been doing OLD and basically have zero interest in men my age. I've dated quite a few younger men and it's just way more fun. I think that an older woman/younger man is a good dynamic, really. You're fairly well matched in terms of status and often in terms of what you want from a relationship. Sex is good and adventurous, they really make an effort!

Men my age often seem to be genuinely old and dull. It doesn't help that men say 50 on their OLD profiles when they are clearly ten years older than that!

To add that it would also appear (I use the word “appear” as l have no professional qualification in this area) that women reach their sexual peak much later in life than men.

l think younger men are fine providing you don’t want a mate for life; l had one of those, it didn’t work very well 😂. Just let your inhibitions (and your knickers) go!

i became single in 2020 for the first time ever after 22 years of being with the only person ive ever been with(romantically and sexually)

i met him at 18,him 17 and was a few months off 40 when i became single overnight(he left the family home in secret at 3am)

ive not been with anyone since as i was recovering from his actions(and ex best friend as they ran off together) that caused a breakdown

but ive noticed im finding men 40-50 not at all remotely attractive(bar a few gorgeous actors) and migrating to the age 30-40,some late 20s

i have spent the last few years recovering and finding my way as a single adult let alone a lone parent(hes not seen the kids since 2020 either)and a late ADHD diagnosis at 42 so im not ready yet

i do look younger than 42 due to looking after my skin and right lifestyle choice and dont act 42(im late 20s early 30s in my head)

i haven't even tried dating yet or a app so dont know how that world works

You've not met the right ones. I know some hot ones 😊

I find men about 5-10y younger attractive physically... until they open their mouths and everything they say is childish and banal, ugh

I am exactly the same OP, loved older men when I was younger then when menopause hit found myself looking at younger men! My 50s were a revelation...I discovered how many younger men have a thing for older women! If you're single embrace it and have fun

Yeah, most men my age look like potatoes.

Same here /am now my 60s and not at all attracted to men my age. Had a train year relationship with a man of 53-55 who assumed we were the same age tho I was actually 6-7 years older and the men I find attractive now are early to mid-fifties. These only when I meet people in real life because I’d have no chance on the c apps at my age - even though my photos are good, I’d have to lie about my age to get anywhere.

Agree with this. That whole "men age better than women" thing is BS. Most women I know in their 40s/50/60s look way better than their male counterparts. I'm in my 40s and the men I know in their 50s and older in the main, don't look that great. They're going bald, have beer bellies, have bad teeth, don't groom themselves, dress terribly and just seem to have lost all motivation to make an effort. Obv they cant help going bald but they could get a decent haircut rather than trying to hide it by growing the back long or trying to cover it up when it looks very obvious.

Of course, not all of them- and I know one man in his early 60s who looks amazing but in general, women age better (and at least take care of their appearance) so its not really surprising you feel like this given what's out there!

Hmmm. I'd be very cautious about this. I work in a very male environment. Lots of young men who aren't very discreet with their conversation.
A group of then are currently having a competition to see who can "bang the oldest minger" they show each other photos and read through the sexual text messages these poor women have sent and have a good laugh about it.
It's a depressing situation

Men do this with women their own age too though, Ive witnessed this kind of vile behaviour from men towards women their own age